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Failed Pilots from LBP


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After the failure to sell  “The Lucie Arnaz Show”, “Bungle Abbey” and “Music Mart”, Lucille Ball Productions looks to its stock company under contract as stars of new pilots.

 

“Riker’s Island”-Reta Shaw, reprising her Mabel Riker character co-stars with Barbara Morrison and Jody Gilbert  to portray three matrons who work at the same prison and share a studio apartment in Queens.  Other series regulars: Minerva Urekal,  Hope Emerson, Iris Adrian, The Bordon Twins

 

“Hail Marys”—Mary Jane Croft and Mary Wickes star as two pious “Brides of Christ” by day, who shed their habits to become crime-solving undercover detectives by night.  Original title: “Hell’s Belles” was deemed inappropriate for middle America.

 

“The Baer Essentials”—Parley Baer and Max Baer, Jr. as a father and son physiatrist team.  Parley is conversative and clashes with son Max who is into new age-y techniques.  Receptionist: Maudie Prickett.

 

“Diagnosis: Moidah!”—Vanda Barra stars as a hospital janitorial supervisor who works the graveyard shift and spends her time going through discarded paperwork to solve mysterious deaths.  Theme song: “Chutzpah” sung by Miss Barra.

 

“Shalom, Charone!”—Irwin Charone  as a rabbi who dumps his wife of 35 years (Mae Questel) and marries a young Irish-Catholic woman (Joanna Gleason) but keeps her background hidden from his synagogue.  Rabbi Schwartz: Cliff Norton.  Variety review: “Not since “Bridget Loves Bernie” has a series offended so many religions in one episode”. 

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“Shalom, Charone!”—Irwin Charone as a rabbi who dumps his wife of 35 years (Mae Questel) and marries a young Irish-Catholic woman (Joanna Gleason) but keeps her background hidden from his synagogue. Rabbi Schwartz: Cliff Norton. Variety review: “Not since “Bridget Loves Bernie” has a series offended so many religions in one episode”.

Love, love Joanna so I'm going to need to see this one. I like how you have her playing Irish Catholic. She's so not.

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And....with just a little more "time on my hands"....

 

LEWIS & CLARK

 

In this comedy/western, Mary Jane Croft's Lucy Show/Here's Lucy character Mary Jane Lewis in transported back in time to the old west and joins forces with Wanda Clark to portray two wacky, sense of direction-challenged wagon train scouts forging the way for the covered wagon caravan headed by  blustering trailmaster Frank Gorey. 

Pilot episode : "Who Gets the Drumstick?"--Mary Jane and Wanda ride ahead searching for a route through the mountains and encounter the Donner Party. 

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And....with just a little more "time on my hands"....

 

LEWIS & CLARK

 

In this comedy/western, Mary Jane Croft's Lucy Show/Here's Lucy character Mary Jane Lewis in transported back in time to the old west and joins forces with Wanda Clark to portray two wacky, sense of direction-challenged wagon train scouts forging the way for the covered wagon caravan headed by  blustering trailmaster Frank Gorey. 

Pilot episode : "Who Gets the Drumstick?"--Mary Jane and Wanda ride ahead searching for a route through the mountains and encounter the Donner Party. 

 

:marionstrong: I assume this was a one-off special in this case.

 

LOVE these. Hilarious.

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"THE GALE GORDON SHOW"

Following the failure of "Bungled Abbey", Gale Gordon takes a leaf out of Patty Duke's book to portray identical cousins Theodore Mooney and Harry Carter. The premise involves Mooney having to move in with Cousin Harry after that young cat food salesman from Danfield ditches Grandma Sutton and takes up with Irma. As both men are so similar in personality, not to mention appearance, the plots mostly involve the viewer trying to figure out who's who. The special guest appearances by Lucille Ball as their secretaries only complicate matters further. Red feathers fly when Lucy Carter switches places with Lucy Carmichael at the bank and...well, nothing is really that different.

"EVE'N ODD"

Stylish, elegant and well-adjusted Eve Danziger (Eve Arden) runs a spacious Bed and Breakfast in upstate New York with her husband, Stanley (Bob Rockwell). But good help proves hard to find when her dry as toast husband is suddenly wanted for tax evasion and heads south with all their money. No longer able to afford "decent" help, she must scrape the bottom of the barrel in order to keep her business afloat. New upstairs maid Francine Glick (Mary Wickes) knows nothing about folding fitted sheets but is an expert at snooping through the guests' belongings; downstairs maid Vanda Morgan (Vanda Barra) likes to listen in on phone calls and blabs everything she learns for all to hear; Kaye Gibbs (Kaye Ballard), the new cook, ignores what the guests order and serves only her family's Italian recipes, while Mary Jane Tuttle (you can figure this one out), the server, is a bit of a klutz and most guests wind up wearing their food instead of eating it. Despite their shortcomings, Eve and the girls grow rather fond of each other and have no shortage of misadventures while running the B&B.

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"EVE'N ODD"

 

Stylish, elegant and well-adjusted Eve Danziger (Eve Arden) runs a spacious Bed and Breakfast in upstate New York with her husband, Stanley (Bob Rockwell). But good help proves hard to find when her dry as toast husband is suddenly wanted for tax evasion and heads south with all their money. No longer able to afford "decent" help, she must scrape the bottom of the barrel in order to keep her business afloat. New upstairs maid Francine Glick (Mary Wickes) knows nothing about folding fitted sheets but is an expert at snooping through the guests' belongings; downstairs maid Vanda Morgan (Vanda Barra) likes to listen in on phone calls and blabs everything she learns for all to hear; Kaye Gibbs (Kaye Ballard), the new cook, ignores what the guests order and serves only her family's Italian recipes, while Mary Jane Tuttle (you can figure this one out), the server, is a bit of a klutz and most guests wind up wearing their food instead of eating it. Despite their shortcomings, Eve and the girls grow rather fond of each other and have no shortage of misadventures while running the B&B.

 

This is my new favourite show! :HALKING: Full season order, STAT!

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This is my new favourite show! :HALKING: Full season order, STAT!

I'm already formulating the guest stars.

 

Alvin Hurwitz as the put-upon health inspector, who always gives the place a passing grade just as long as he can leave.

Barbara Morrison, Reta Shaw and Ruth Perrott as recurring snooty guests, whom the girls love getting revenge on.

Vivian Vance as Eve's rival, Vivian Blaisdel, who runs a more successful B&B in New Rochelle.

Charles Nelson Riley as the garbage collector who's sweet on Mary Jane.

 

Any suggestions?

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Lately I've been wondering what might've happened if Lucille had created another show to immediately follow Here's Lucy, just like what happened in 1968 after The Lucy Show ended.

"LOOK, IT'S LUCY!" - 1974

Lucy's back in her third sitcom in a row. This time she plays widowed Lucy Parker, who just moved back to New York to be closer to her daughters after spending years in California. Her responsible elder daughter, Linda (Candy Moore), is a successful and respected actress in the theatre, while impulsive younger daughter Shelly (Lucie Arnaz) writes a controversial advice column for an alternative newspaper. Well aware of her mother's talent for creating unique disguises and characters, Linda helps Lucy obtain a job as a wardrobe mistress Off-Broadway. Having "considered acting" in her time, Lucy is thrilled at the chance to finally be working in show business. Naturally, her wild and improvisational antics cause much mayhem and many mixed up costumes, much to the chagrin of blustery stage manager Reginald Burns (Gale Gordon). Her creativity, however, often catches the attention of the many directors whose productions she assists, more often than not resulting in her filling in for absentee actors. Juggling her newfound professional success while maintaining peace between her two wildly different daughters proves a challenge she's more than up to. Also featuring Mary Jane Croft and Vanda Barra as Lucy's fellow wardrobe mistresses, with special appearances by Vivian Vance as "The First Lady of Off-Broadway" Vivian Hayes.

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:marionstrong: I assume this was a one-off special in this case.

 

LOVE these. Hilarious.

Well I didn't want to be a ending SPOILER but the episodes ends happily for Lewis and Clark, but not so for two of the pilot's guests, who suffered the Doris Singleton/Here's Lucy fate of being written out when the producer decide to go in a different direction.

Wanda escapes to warn the wagon train but misses the first wagon whose exhaustion-crazed horses bounded ahead of the others.  While the chef is thumbing through his recipe book for the "Chipmunk Foo Young" cooking directions, Mary Jane submerges herself into the steel kettle over the fire so the chef won't discover that 2/3rds of "Iceberg" Lewis is below the surface.  Just as the water starts to bubble, the first wagon arrives carting the two guest actresses singing "Ricochet Romance" and the delighted chef spreads the word that it's "all you can eat" night for the Donner group. 

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Lately I've been wondering what might've happened if Lucille had created another show to immediately follow Here's Lucy, just like what happened in 1968 after The Lucy Show ended.

 

"LOOK, IT'S LUCY!" - 1974

 

Lucy's back in her third sitcom in a row. This time she plays widowed Lucy Parker, who just moved back to New York to be closer to her daughters after spending years in California. Her responsible elder daughter, Linda (Candy Moore), is a successful and respected actress in the theatre, while impulsive younger daughter Shelly (Lucie Arnaz) writes a controversial advice column for an alternative newspaper. Well aware of her mother's talent for creating unique disguises and characters, Linda helps Lucy obtain a job as a wardrobe mistress Off-Broadway. Having "considered acting" in her time, Lucy is thrilled at the chance to finally be working in show business. Naturally, her wild and improvisational antics cause much mayhem and many mixed up costumes, much to the chagrin of blustery stage manager Reginald Burns (Gale Gordon). Her creativity, however, often catches the attention of the many directors whose productions she assists, more often than not resulting in her filling in for absentee actors. Juggling her newfound professional success while maintaining peace between her two wildly different daughters proves a challenge she's more than up to. Also featuring Mary Jane Croft and Vanda Barra as Lucy's fellow wardrobe mistresses, with special appearances by Vivian Vance as "The First Lady of Off-Broadway" Vivian Hayes.

This one has serious possibilities!!

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This one has serious possibilities!!

With any luck not all of these will fail to sell.

 

I created this one a few years ago on the "pilot proposals" thread. Apparently it only had one (very short) season:

 

SID & GARY - 1976

 

Sid Gould - Sid Reinhold

Gary Morton - Gary Reinhold

Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry Reinhold

Vanda Barra - Vanda Reinhold

 

This unfortunate conception followed the misadventures of the Reinhold brothers, two comics with a double act touring the country and playing in crummy dives nationwide in the hopes of making it big. Most notable for introducing a young Jerry Seinfeld as Gary's much more talented son, and featuring a winning turn by Vanda Barra as Sid's wife and tour manager. 18 episodes were taped yet only 5 ever aired.

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I'm already formulating the guest stars.

 

Alvin Hurwitz as the put-upon health inspector, who always gives the place a passing grade just as long as he can leave.

Barbara Morrison, Reta Shaw and Ruth Perrott as recurring snooty guests, whom the girls love getting revenge on.

Vivian Vance as Eve's rival, Vivian Blaisdel, who runs a more successful B&B in New Rochelle.

Charles Nelson Riley as the garbage collector who's sweet on Mary Jane.

 

Any suggestions?

Charles Nelson Riley as the garbage collector who's sweet on Mary Jane Alvin Hurwitz. (That's more like it!) :blink:

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Well, this is the mid-70s, maybe some more progressive plot lines are in order!

I don't think that ANY celebrity was "out" in the 70s.  A comedy could star Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde and Liberace as three middle-aged, randy skirt chasers out on the town looking for hetero-action and the public would buy it.  It was strictly "no ask and (DEFINITELY) don't tell". 

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I don't think that ANY celebrity was "out" in the 70s.  A comedy could star Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde and Liberace as three middle-aged, randy skirt chasers out on the town looking for hetero-action and the public would buy it.  It was strictly "no ask and (DEFINITELY) don't tell". 

Honey some questions don't NEED to be asked! :blink:

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  • 2 months later...

REDHEAD, WHITE, AND BLUE

A series that focuses on our nation's first female president, Lucy Carson who, although well intentioned, is often stymied by the over the top complications that arise when you're in office. Vice Presidential duties are handed over to her lifelong best friend Vivian Comstock. Because Ms. Carson is a widow, the role of First Spouse is left null, with a steady rotation of First Boyfriends taking its place. The thorns in President Lucy's side are the blustery and conservative Speaker of The House, Walter Chapman (Gale Gordon), who has a low tolerance level for wacky shenanigans, and his icy, social ladder-climbing wife Marion (Mary Jane Croft). Lucy's ever-helpful and matronly assistant is Edith Crabtree (Mary Wickes), who is always at Madame President's side with a word of advice and a sarcastic remark anytime Lucy finds herself in a pickle. The man-hungry Secretary of State is Lilith Andersen (Doris Singleton), who is always talking to the president on matters of her affairs, both of foreign policy and homewrecking natures. Lucy is protected by her two bodyguards, Loretta and Barb (Iris Adrian and Jody Gilbert) who constantly argue with each other.
Being the leader of the free world could really get to a person, especially if that person encounters mishaps and mayhem at every turn, but we all know that President Lucy can muddle through with her trademark humor, heart, and henna!

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Honey some questions don't NEED to be asked! :blink:

 

AHHHHHHHH, come on back 'innocence of youth' - I NEVER KNEW.  I just LOVED CNR and PL; and tolerated Liberace, since Mother LOVED him!!!!

 

Funny, I guess I was about 12 or thereabouts; and mother said, a kid in our nearby-Village [West Ellicott] turned into a girl; and I didn't even know what THAT meant!  And, it SURELY wasn't explained to me! 

 

Like I said, was raised color blind; and everything else. 

 

Charles, Paul, Liberace in the sort of scenario you mentioned would have been a 'lovefest' for me to watch; I'd have laughed myself silly; and they were always my 'favorites' on the game, and talk shows. 

 

Another one I loved, as the guy, can't recall name right now, although it's on the tip of my tongue; was the guy who threw confetti all the time; just loved him.  [someone help me here or it'll drive me over the edge - AGAIN, TODAY! PROVIDING THE CHRONOLOGY DOESN'T GET TO ME FIRST!!!! :HALKING:]

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REDHEAD, WHITE, AND BLUE

A series that focuses on our nation's first female president, Lucy Carson who, although well intentioned, is often stymied by the over the top complications that arise when you're in office. Vice Presidential duties are handed over to her lifelong best friend Vivian Comstock. Because Ms. Carson is a widow, the role of First Spouse is left null, with a steady rotation of First Boyfriends taking its place. The thorns in President Lucy's side are the blustery and conservative Speaker of The House, Walter Chapman (Gale Gordon), who has a low tolerance level for wacky shenanigans, and his icy, social ladder-climbing wife Marion (Mary Jane Croft). Lucy's ever-helpful and matronly assistant is Edith Crabtree (Mary Wickes), who is always at Madame President's side with a word of advice and a sarcastic remark anytime Lucy finds herself in a pickle. The man-hungry Secretary of State is Lilith Andersen (Doris Singleton), who is always talking to the president on matters of her affairs, both of foreign policy and homewrecking natures. Lucy is protected by her two bodyguards, Loretta and Barb (Iris Adrian and Jody Gilbert) who constantly argue with each other.

Being the leader of the free world could really get to a person, especially if that person encounters mishaps and mayhem at every turn, but we all know that President Lucy can muddle through with her trademark humor, heart, and henna!

LOVE IT!!!!! Oh I so wish this one had happened! Very, very clever!

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