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Posts posted by JessiLu

  1. On 11/22/2019 at 11:26 PM, Luvsbway said:

    Do you think some of the reason those comments upset Desi so much wasn't so much a bruised ego about the show but more of a sense that it was something that they created together, their showbiz baby. Instead of being angry it was sadness. 

    Maybe he felt bad for her. This was after the famous quote from the 70s that give her 90% of the credit. The show was Lucy. So he calls her up sad that she's being attacked by some jerk. And factor in the bad LWL press that personally attacked Lucy and maybe it was a sense of, stop knocking this girl I still deeply love.


    I think it was probably a mixture of a bruised ego and sadness. Totally agree about ILL being their showbiz baby, and Desi was probably more sentimental about it in later years. Plus ILL was the only thing most people remembered him for career-wise, so he may have been even more protective of it for that reason. 

    Regarding feeling bad for her, Eddie's bit mostly made fun of Desi, finishing with saying something extremely raunchy.  So, Desi probably felt personally attacked. (I can PM you the clip if you're interested, but don't want to post a link to something that crass here.)

    Found another quote from Lucy in which she expresses her disapproval:

    She was insulted by the recent Eddie Murphy and Buddy Hackett specials on HBO: ''Inexcusable. Why should we glorify that by watching it. How can we stop it? It's making money, and as long as they're making a buck they don't seem to care. Nobody cares anymore!'' She throws up her arms in mock surrender.


    So really, I'll bet Lucy is speaking out against Eddie's special because of how it hurt Desi, rather than the other way around. 

  2. It’s a bit odd that jokes about AIDS hurt Lucy’s feelings, but not the ILL jokes. (Not that she can’t have empathy for those suffering from AIDS, but you’d think she’d take more personal offense to the latter.)

    I do find her comment about it not hurting Eddie Murphy’s career interesting. Tom Watson said that she told Desi, when he was upset about the comedian, that he was just a punk trying to make a name for himself. Very similar.

  3. As always, thanks for the heads up about these Lucy-themed episodes.

    I agree that the Lucy/Desi post-divorce stories that were shared are absolutely priceless. It's amazing how devoted they were to each other. I feel like Desi must have been pretty out of it at the end, to get so emotional over a talk show host making disparaging comments about ILL and to keep her up for hours while dealing with his own insomnia. He was dying and his wife had already passed, so I bet Lucy felt she had to play the role of a surrogate wife so he wouldn't feel so alone. I feel like some of the most touching stories (that we've heard about) from their love story happened after they were divorced. 

    Any guesses on the identity of the "talk show host" who said "horrendous things" about ILL? I wonder if perhaps Desi stumbled across a re-run of Eddie Murphy's 1983 stand-up show "Delirious." He says some pretty raunchy things about ILL in that show. 

  4. On 9/17/2019 at 10:02 PM, Luvsbway said:

    I've read articles and interviews over the years from Jr. but nothing this revealing and nothing this revealing about this parents and the divorce. We knew Desi had a temper but what he describes is really bad. Obviously a lot of that was do to alcohol.

    Two things that are troublesome to me is first, that the kids basically had no outlet to express their feelings. I know Lucy talks in her book about sensing the kids were upset and has said they heard and saw too much but I took that as, well that commonly happens in divorce. But to be scared to seek help in your sibling because your afraid that if you express sadness it's questioned. I wonder how much this went on after the divorce and the remarriage. Was the Parent Trap the only outlet they thought they had?  Did they talk to any other family members? 

    Second is that I sort of always thought of Lucy as the more violent one when her temper got going. She admitted to the car window smashing as a reaction to a fight in the early part of their marriage and in that 1950 radio interview she is questioned about her temper and admitted to throwing things. But Jr. says that she wasn't violent it was his dad that was. And that things got physical. To me that could be 2 things. Either physical in that a lot of things were thrown, broke, etc... In the divorce proceedings the busted pipe incident was mentioned to demonstrate the temper and that was a full out violent physical reaction from Desi. Or that he actually got physical in the hitting, slapping, shoving, etc.. domestic violence sense. I never thought there was any of that going on. But who knows what someone is capable of with alcohol. There are reports of Desi drunk getting physical with other men but never women. Wasn't there a story in his book back in 39 where his dance partner in the show had a physically abusive husband and Desi stepped in? But knowing what is wrong and being under the heavy influence of alcohol is another thing. It's an odd sort of thing to say "physical" an then not explain it, because the mind goes there. Maybe Jr. kept it vague on purpose.


    Thanks so much for tracking that excerpt down. And your above commentary pretty much tracks with what I was thinking. A few additional thoughts/reactions:

    - I didn't realize that Lucie and Desi, Jr. were so close. So I really enjoyed learning about that.

    - I also assumed that Lucy was the more violent one. Harriet's supposed story about Lucy hitting Desi over the head, knocking him out cold, and believing he was dead, also comes to mind. I can't recall if there was any act of violence from Desi that prompted that. (I should point out that the story is totally hearsay and probably shouldn't have been reported on. But I note it because it is another story out there about violence within the marriage.)

    I believe I read somewhere that Lucy and Desi's fights would sometimes get physical. But if it got that bad, wouldn't we have heard more about Lucy coming to the set with physical signs? Given her job, it would be hard to hide.  

    You noted that he'd get physically violent with men but not with women. In my opinion, the "me too" moment that Paula Stewart shared in her book about her first encounter with Desi is pretty darn close. It wasn't anger-induced violence, but lust-induced (and alcohol-fueled). And it was something that shocked me a bit. I previously would've found it hard to believe that he behaved like that with strange women, because we hadn't heard any similar reports. So, with regard to Desi and violence toward Lucy or the kids, it makes me think anything's possible. 

    One additional thought. Maybe Desi, Jr.'s commentary was vague about the type of violence (i.e. violence against objects vs. violence against human beings) because it was an editorial decision. Maybe the editors were trying to sensationalize it and make it fit better with the "adult survivors of abuse" theme.

    Final thought: will Lucie and/or Desi, Jr. please write a book already? So many unanswered questions in my mind. They both clearly loved their father, so things couldn't have been THAT bad. But who really knows except them. 

  5. Just came across this book on Amazon - “Wednesday’s Children: Adult Survivors of Abuse” by Suzanne Somers, featuring Desi Jr.:


    Product description says:

    “Adult survivors of abuse--including Traci Lords, Gary Crosby, Patti Davis, Angie Dickinson, and Desi Arnaz, Jr.--share their experiences of pain and recovery from physical, emotional, and sexual battering.”

    I know Desi dealt with drug abuse, but judging from the description, it doesn’t sound like the book addresses that kind of abuse. Seems more like the kind committed against you.

    Anyone come across this book before or have an idea is what it may discuss with regard to Desi? 

  6. Thanks for sharing!  Great to see an interview just of Gary.  A few thoughts: 

    - seems a little strange that they interview Gary and then immediately  cut to home movies of her and the first husband 

    -  Gary makes it sounds as if it was his choice to leave the Beverly Hills home and move to Palm Springs. I feel like I read somewhere that Lucy left the Palm Springs home to him and never intended for him to have the house at Roxbury.  I could be wrong, though.

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