Brock Posted February 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 Miss Ball: This salad dressing has a very delicate flavour. Mr. Kaye: Yeah, it has a regular aroma! Miss Ball: Yes, it's pungent. Mr. Kaye: That's what it is! I was trying to think of the woid. That's it. It has a definite punge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted February 22, 2014 Report Share Posted February 22, 2014 Milton: She makes a Caesar salad better than Julius. The Movie Star: Milton, that's a very funny line! Lucy: It's mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted March 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2014 Lucy: What is a Derby Tossed Salad? Fred: Anyone knows that, Lucy! You just take some salad and toss it in a derby! HAHAHA! ! Gus: Fred: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted March 5, 2014 Report Share Posted March 5, 2014 Right after we checked into our palatial suite at the Beverly Palms Hotel we all decided to go to lunch. So we trooped over to the Derby. You all probably know it as "the Brown Derby," but us show folk who eat there all the time, we just call it "the Derby." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted March 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2014 That's wonderful, Mr. O'Brien! He knows where he can get one, Mr. O'Brien! Faith and begorrah, that is good news! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 Uh, my news... Spilled the milk all over. THE BABY! THE BABY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted March 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Mr. Skinner: Here you are. Ricky: $4.80?! Mr. Skinner: Yup. Sandwiches are a dollar a piece and the 80 cents is the entertainment tax. Ricky: ENTERTAINMENT TAX?! Mr. Skinner: Yup.... Baby dear, listen here, I'm afraid to go home in the darrrrrrk... Ricky: I'll pay! I'll pay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Lucy: There's no charge for swimming, is there? Jack Benny: Oh, of course not... However, the towels are eleven cents each. Lucy: ELEVEN CENTS?! Jack: Ten cents for the towel and a penny tax. Lucy: TAX?! Jack: Don't holler at me. Go fight Ronald Reagan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted March 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 This will be the greatest fight since Dempsey fought Willard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted April 16, 2014 Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 I thought you said Fred and Ethel had a big fight and they were mad at each other. They are. I thought you said they weren't speaking to each other. They aren't. And that he was staying at the Y. He is. And she won't let him in the house. She won't. Well, if they are and they aren't and he is and she won't, how come? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 It wouldn't have to me mink. It could be something less expensive...like a sable? ... It could be a leopard skin, maybe? ... A muskrat? ... If I got a gopher and skinned it myself, would you pay for the buttons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 2, 2014 Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 "Wanted: female lemon picker. Must have transportation to Oxnard... also leopard coat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 Woman: I wanted to take the train, but ohhhh, no! You had to drive! Man: Okay, okay, I had to drive. Woman: 65 miles an hour. I thought the judge would never let us go. Man: Look, we already missed the first act. Are you going to talk all the way through the second? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 5, 2014 Report Share Posted May 5, 2014 That's the end of the first act. The first act?! How many scenes are there? Only eighteen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2014 Fred, I have a confession to make. Remember when we got married and I said I was eighteen? I was nineteen! I have something to tell you too. You were twenty-four! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Rick, what made you think you've been living here thirteen years? Yeah, it's only twelve. Yes, it's only twelve, dear. Wait a minute. We moved here when we got married and when we got married Lucy was twenty-two years old. How old are you know, dear? Oh, how do you like that. We've only lived here six years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Ethel: Mrs. McGillicuddy, sweetie? McG: Yes, dear? Ethel: Do you remember when Lucy and Ricky got married? McG: Certainly! Ethel: When was it? McG: Years ago! Ethel: No, do you remember the date? McG: Date? Oh, I'm no good at dates, but it was sometime in the spring. Ethel: Thanks a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 9, 2014 Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 A long time ago, before I met you, I was friends with... You were not friends. You were married. Yeah, just a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Lucille! What?! A paper clip is used to CLIP. PAPER. ... Yeah? That's what they're used for. We do not make lavaliers out of them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeySanJoaquin Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Lucille! What?! A paper clip is used to CLIP. PAPER. ... Yeah? That's what they're used for. We do not make lavaliers out of them! Clevah! Now would you be so kind as to identify the scene? Can't place it.... Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 Lucille! What?! A paper clip is used to CLIP. PAPER. ... Yeah? That's what they're used for. We do not make lavaliers out of them! It isn't fair. They asked me questions about things that happened before I was born. That covers everything back before the Battle of Bunker Hill! There was a battle at Bunker Hill? Why am I always the last to know? Well, it was in all the papers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted June 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2014 Lucille Carter the First: I'm 29. Rudolph Springer the Third: Now, Mrs. Carter, you can't be 29. Lucy: You're right -- but I will be on my next birthday! Rudy: Let's see, if you are going to be 29, that means you were born in-- Lucy: Jamestown, New York! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 I was born Lucille McGillicuddy in the thriving metropolis of Jamestown, New York in Nineteen... I had a very happy childhood. I graduated from Jamestown High School in.... lets just say I graduated four years after I started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted June 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2014 FRED! What?! I was calling the dog. Oh, for corn sake! I haven't been right once today! Maybe it would be simpler if you changed your name. To what? Rover! Very funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted June 12, 2014 Report Share Posted June 12, 2014 I gave him my maiden name. I'm surprised you can remember that far back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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