Brock Posted December 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 You'd like me to play a request for Hilda. Oh, Hilda and Babs. And Jan? Oh, Hilda, Babs and Jan. And Ella? Uh-huh. And Molly, Dottie, Roselle and Mimi. Mimi? Yeah, like Eisenhower. And Mildred, and Doris, and Nora, yeah, and Emma. Marianne and Evelyn and Sadie and Emma -- is that the same Emma you just mentioned? Oh, this one's a redhead. And Sue Ellen. Yeah, that's one name, I know. And Gertrude and Estelle and Joan and Connie and Sylvia. Uh-huh! What number would you like me to play, sir? YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted December 15, 2012 Report Share Posted December 15, 2012 You know what they say, "Behind every great man, there's a great woman." Is that what they say? Yes. Empress Josephine, Dolly Madison, Mamie Eisenhower: we're all back there! Well, if it ever gets dull back there, you can always start a bridge game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted December 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2012 Mary Jane: Luu-cy! Harry: Mary Jane, Lucille is in the kitchen. Mary Jane: Can you ask her if she'd mind making me a glass of iced tea? Harry: Lucille? Lucy: Yeah? Harry: Mary Jane would like to know if you would make her some iced tea. Lucy: Coming right up. Harry: Coming right up! Mary Jane: With lots of ice! Harry: With lots of ice! Lucy: Lots of ice. Sugar or lemon? Harry: Sugar or lemon? Mary: Sugar! Harry: Sugar. Lucy: Sugar. Mary: Just one teaspoon! Harry: Just one teaspoon! Lucy: Just one teaspoon. Mary: Do ya have any cookies?! Harry: Do you have any cookies? Lucy: Well, what kind do you want? Harry: What kind do you want? Mary: What kind have ya got?! Harry: What kind have you got? Lucy: Chocolate chip and vanilla wafers. Mary: ... Lucy: Well? Harry: WELL?! Mary: I'm thinking! Harry: I'M THINKING! Lucy: Would you like to know what I'm thinking? Harry: Not particularly. Mary: CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!! Harry: CHOCOLATE CHIPS! Lucy: Okay, chocolate chips. Mary: Maybe forget the cookies so I won't ruin my dinner. Harry: I'M SORRY, BUT THIS LINE HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted December 20, 2012 Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Mrs. Trumble: "I'll take back that sugar now." Lucy Ricardo: "I thought you were returning it?" Mrs Trumble: "Oh, I didn't really owe it to you. That was just a ruse!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted December 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Can I have some milk? Thank yoah! Can I have some sugar? Thank yoah! Can I have a needle and thread? Whatevah for?! I've a nasty tear in my tea bag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted December 20, 2012 Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Milton Berle: Sugar?...Mrs. Carmichael, I said, "sugar." Lucy: Oh, I thought you were talking to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted December 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hard Head: Tinkerbell, my roommate would a nice hot cup of coffee. Tinkerbell: But, of course! And would Madame like sugar and cream in her coffee? Lucy: Well, a little cream but no sugar; I'll take saccharine because I've been on a diet and I wouldn't want to-- Tinkerbell: AH, SHADDAP! Lucy: The nerve of her! I'll tell you one thing: if she does bring me my coffee I ain't gonna give her no tip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted January 5, 2013 Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 Here's everything you ordered, Viv: pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, and ham. Thanks, darling. Would you mind if I had a cup of tea? No. Do you want sugar? Sugar?! Heavens, no! I'm on a diet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted January 5, 2013 Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 Kim: Oh, Miss Shore, would you sing "Because" for us? Dinah: Becauuuuuuse... I HAVE TO GO! Â I'm SURE Kim's line was supposed to be "Why don't you sing some it for us now?" Doesn't that make more sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Here's everything you ordered, Viv: pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, and ham. Thanks, darling. Would you mind if I had a cup of tea? No. Do you want sugar? Sugar?! Heavens, no! I'm on a diet. Â Waffles! That's right, dear! *thud!* Oh, I know! You made this waffle YOURSELF! No, I bought it from Phipps Fountain and Tea Room. Food always tastes different when you get it from Phipps. I don't know WHAT they do to it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Bobby the Bellboy: Can you act? Â Lucy: Can I act?! (Tousles hair & runs desperately toward him) What room is my husband in? Â Bobby: (pointing) 423! Â Lucy: Thank you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Â You know, Harry, you're getting better with age. You really are ruggedly handsome. I know. Harry, has anyone ever told you you look JUST like Richard Burton? Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted January 9, 2013 Report Share Posted January 9, 2013 Lucy: Oh-my-goodness. I never noticed what beautiful blue eyes you have. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Clark Gable? Â Mr Hickox: No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2013 You know, Harry, the only reason I asked you to join me tonight is because I am NOT out for a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted January 15, 2013 Report Share Posted January 15, 2013 Uncle Harry, are we going to see The Tonight Show? No, we're going to see an educational program: a panel show. Oh, a panel show. :/ Four leading economists are going to discuss the origin of money. You drool over that as if you were going to see Raquel Welch take a bubble bath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 Lucille, I don't think -- No, you sure don't! That's why we don't have tickets to a television show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Have I ever lost any train tickets before? Yes. Have I ever lost any train tickets to Florida before? We have never been to Florida before. See. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 Lucy: Now, how can we turn our $200.00 into $3,000? I know! We can buy a television set & raffle it off! Â Ethel: Is it legal? Â Lucy: Sure! Everyone who buys a ticket gets a chance to win the television set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 Hey, look! That's Lucy! She's on television! How about that! I can't get over how clear the picture is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Aunt Gussie: Mary Jane, where are your other television sets? Mary Jane: I've only got one. Aunt Gussie: One television set?! I'm missing the wrestling match because my screaming kids have to watch other screaming kids twitchin' and boppin' on TV. One television set?! Thanks for nothing, Mary Jane! Lucy: Who was that? Mary Jane: That was my Aunt Gussie. She's the nicest one in the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Lucy: It's an easy recipe. My Aunt Martha gave it to me. Ethel: Let me see. Lucy: We could call it Aunt Martha's Salad Dressing. Ethel: Yes. Lucy: It needs something more, though. How about Aunt Martha's Old Fashioned Salad Dressing? Ethel: Yeah -- we'll make it with old fashioneds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Wife: I saw something strange out on the balcony! Husband: Something strange? Three flights up? Was it a bird? Wife: Nooo! Husband: Was it a plane? Wife: Nooooo!! Husband: Then what was it, dear?! Wife: It was SUPERMAN!!!!!!!!!! Husband: Oh, there, there Martha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 (Just ignore this . I deleted my entry when I realized I had substituted the word ledge for balcony in my post & when I tried to delete it & leave, the board insisted I enter a post ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Lucy: Here. Ethel: What is it? Lucy: Your purse. I accidentally knocked it of the balcony & went down & found it in the aisle. Ethel: Lucy ... Lucy: What? Ethel: This isn't my purse!! Lucy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted January 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 Ricky: What's that? Lucy: This?! Oh, this belongs to the Millers downstairs! Ricky: The Millers? What are you talking about? *throws paper on the balcony* *paper comes back over the balcony* Lucy: This paper doesn't belong to us! "Mr. Miller": I saw it come from your balcony! Lucy: YEAH, WELL MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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