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Mot Morenzi

Viv: A Whip With a Quip

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Mot Morenzi    1,503

Let's cull a collection of Viv's snarkiest, funniest retorts and one liners. Can be from any series.

 

 

TLS - Together for Christmas: "I knew it! I can see the moth-eaten Santa and the chipped glass birds right now!"

 

ILL - The Gossip: "Now THERE'S a monumental conclusion!"

 

ILL - California Here We Come: "Oh just wait 'til Mickey Richardson hears about this!" (contender for best Ethel line ever, IMO)

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mikidiki    127

Great thread but I'm terrible at remembering lines unless I physically watch an episode - god, can you imagine how frustrated Lucy would have been with me if I were a special guest star? :lucyeww:

 

I'll have to get back to you when I get some funny lines - no doubt they will be from each episode cause she always had some great one-liners! In fact I think Viv was given the funniest one-liners out of the all the characters in ILL

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Brock    3,373

:lucy2: (to Merman) Vivian wants you to. She will be able to tell her grandchildren that the great Ethel Merman slept in her bed.

:viv2: I was wondering what I was going to tell my grandchildren! <_<

 

_________________

 

 

:viv2: If the girls at home ever saw me in this can of worms they'd kick me out of the garden club! (Viv Visits Lucy)

 

_________________

 

 

:viv1: I have sufficient. (Housewarming)

 

_________________

 

:viv1: For once the bull will be full of Lucy. (Bull Fight Dance)

 

_________________

 

:viv2: Mr. Mooney, I can't thank you enough for coming by to read to us! (Loophole in the Lease)

 

_________________

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Annaleigh    296

Changing the Boys Wardrobe:

Lucy: Wanna go have dinner with the boys?

Ethel: Yes...........WHAT BOYS?!

 

Lucy goes to Sun Valley:

Lucy: Don't you wish Fred was here?

Ethel: If Fred was here I'd throw rocks at him.

 

Lucy Wants a Career:

Fred: Ethel, did you just say you are going to have a baby!

Ethel: Ohhh. Shut. Up.

 

Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower:

Lucy: Maybe someone will come by and save us.

Viv: What, some door to door frog man!

 

Lucy's Mother In Law

Ethel: SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE!

Lucy: WHO'S HERE?!

Ethel: RICKY'S MOTHER!

Lucy: How do you know?!?!

Ethel: She tried to pay the cab driver in pesos!

:D

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Magster    66

:viv2: Did you pay this month's water bill?

:lucy2: Yeah, why?

:viv2: THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO!! :angry:

 

:viv1: Give her the money? Is she going with us?

 

:lucy1: If Fred left you what would you be doing?

:viv1: Celebrating.

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mikidiki    127

:viv2: Did you pay this month's water bill?

:lucy2: Yeah, why?

:viv2: THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO!! :angry:

 

:viv1: Give her the money? Is she going with us?

 

:lucy1: If Fred left you what would you be doing?

:viv1: Celebrating.

 

Call me blonde but I never understood that water bill line - can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make sense to me.

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Brock    3,373

Call me blonde but I never understood that water bill line - can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make sense to me.

 

If Lucy hadn't paid the water bill, there would be a chance the water would be cut off and save our heroines from certain death. LOL

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mikidiki    127

If Lucy hadn't paid the water bill, there would be a chance the water would be cut off and save our heroines from certain death. LOL

 

Ohhhhh! Of course!

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Mot Morenzi    1,503

:viv2: Well THAT was a subtle performance!

 

:viv1: Ohh Mr. Loper, oh!

 

:viv2: Yes, the shells.

 

:viv1: Ucy-Lay. I'll take him to the Itchen-kay while you am-scray up the air-stay and get essed-dray!

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HarryCarter    1,053

:viv1: Why don't you just shoot her when she walks through the door? :MrsRichardCarlson:

 

 

 

 

:lucy1: If some other women were to take Fred away from you you'd be singing a different tune.

:viv1: Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again."

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Brock    3,373

:lucy1: Well, you can't do the finale.

:viv1: Why?

:lucy1: Because I'm doing it!

:viv1: Why should you get to do it?

:lucy1: I'm the president!

:viv1: Well, I'm the co-president!

:lucy1: I'm the chairman!

:viv1: Yeah, but I'm the one who knows how you got to BE chairman!!

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Stop saying' madame you've got the wrong number!

 

(While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me!

 

If I'd a known this is what friends are for.. I'd of signed up as an enemy.

 

Oh is THAT the carberator??

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JoeySoCal    1,009

Stop saying' madame you've got the wrong number!

 

(While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me!

 

If I'd a known this is what friends are for.. I'd of signed up as an enemy.

 

Oh is THAT the carberator??

That is one of my all-time faves -- cracks me up every time!! :D

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Brock    3,373

 

(While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me!

 

 

:viv2: I should have made my bed this morning! :MrsRichardCarlson:

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Neil    1,352

I was wondering what to wear at all those SMART dinner parties I give.

 

Ricky: That one is ours.

Danny: Those two are ours.

Ethel: We raise chickens

 

Judge Gale: Oh, you ARE a miserable tightwad.

Fred: What'd he say, Ethel?

Ethel: Nothing you haven't heard before.

 

Mr. Mooney can tiptoe through those tulips all by himself!

 

(handing passport photo to Charles Lane)

Now, don't laugh....

 

I LIVE HERE and when there's a bed, I sleep here.

 

and my nominee for best Ethel line ever:

I am getting a LITTLE TIRED of being called a cow.

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In the first season of Here's Lucy when Lucy has to meet the woman the computer picked at select-a-spouse... She runs into Viv...

 

Lucy: Don't tell me your number (344625347).. I can't remeber the number darn it

 

but Vivian's reaction and then her line: Don't tell me your my DATE!

 

Puts me away every time!!!!

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Mot Morenzi    1,503

Us??? Sore??? Heh heh heh heh heh...

 

None of the roads we've been on for the last hour are even on the map! I'll bet we're either in Canada or Mexico!

 

Well maybe I'll develop other habits, like folding up roadmaps or keeping an eye open for clean restrooms!

 

He just found out I'm not Bobo Rockefeller!

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