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Yeah, I feel ya but I would go with Clint Walker (Frank Winslow) instead: Hubba, hubba! :lucythrill:

Oh and Wally COX in a dress, such a turn on, LOL! He was Marlon Brando's best friend in real life and some say LOVER too, can you imagine him on the blimp that was Brando? Or Charles Nelson Reily doing with with Burt Reynolds and without his toupee yet, LOL! YEAH, WE ARE DEFINITELY DESPERATE JOEY!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Lucy Plays Stupid:

Lucy decides that dumbing herself down even more might make Ricky take pity on her and put her in the act.

 

The Young Gams:

Lucy sees green again when Ricky hires Betty Grable to dance at the nightclub.

 

Lucy & The Loving Schtup:

Lucy no longer has to fake it when an incredibly passionate Ricky treats her to a memorable anniversary evening!

 

Lucy & Bob's Dope:

Lucy & Ethel take a trip they'll never remember after discovering Bob Hope's stash backstage at the club.

 

Little Ricky Learns to Shoot a Gun:

Big Ricky soon regrets taking Little Ricky hunting after he takes up target practice all over the Mertz's building!

 

Lucy Meets a Paris Clown:

Lucy & Ethel tip a sad clown they see in Paris, who starts following them everywhere while juggling!

 

Lucy's Unicycle Trip:

After losing their train tickets again, Lucy is forced to lead the furious gang on a unicycle race to the border!

 

Lucy Dyes Wolf:

Despereate to have a fur stole to wear to Cynthia Harcourt's charity banquet, Lucy & Ethel dye wolfskins to imitate mink.

 

Lucy Yells the Truth:

Determined to show up Ricky and the Mertzes, Lucy takes their truth-telling bet to heart and starts shouting obscene truths out the apartment window and at anyone who'll listen.

 

The Ricardos Flip Apartments:

Lucy & Ricky begin renting out all of the Mertz's vacant apartments, only to flip them for astronomical profits while refusing to cut the Mertzs in.

 

Lucy's Vast Girth Day:

It's Lucy's time of the month again, only this time she's retained so much water she can't fit into any clothes and positively terrifies Ricky, Fred and Ethel with her violent mood swings!

 

Lucy Hires an English Brooder:

Determined to give her baby chicks the best care, Lucy infuriates Ricky by importing all their farm equipment from England!

 

Job Bitching:

Ricky is complaining nonstop about show-business, Fred hates owning property, and Lucy & Ethel are sick to death of being housewives. Rather than do anything about it, they all just sit around and mope.

 

The Tweezer:

Lucy Ricardo has a hard time tweezing her stenciled-on eyebrows, but can't figure out what's wrong!

 

Lucy & Viv Play Hardball:

Lucy & Viv join Chris Matthews for a rousing debate on situational comedy vs. the surge of reality and dramatic television.

 

Lucy Enters a Shaking Contest:

Lucy & Viv compete in a shimmie showdown!

 

Lucy & The Lost Car:

Lucy & Viv find Joan Crawford's car and, thinking it's abandoned, attempt to drive it to the police station. Unfortunately, Crawford sees them, and tears after them wielding wire hangers and ajax cleaning powder!

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Lucy's Vast Girth Day:

It's Lucy's time of the month again, only this time she's retained so much water she can't fit into any clothes and positively terrifies Ricky, Fred and Ethel with her violent mood swings!

 

 

The Tweezer:

Lucy Ricardo has a hard time tweezing her stenciled-on eyebrows, but can't figure out what's wrong!

 

 

Lucy & The Lost Car:

Lucy & Viv find Joan Crawford's car and, thinking it's abandoned, attempt to drive it to the police station. Unfortunately, Crawford sees them, and tears after them wielding wire hangers and ajax cleaning powder!

 

 

:hlLOL: ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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Lucy & Viv Become Marooned:

After their boat springs several leaks, the girls abandon ship and take refuge on a desert island.

 

Lucy & The Great Hacker:

After Viv masters the art of overclocking, Lucy enlists her to hack into Mooney's laptop.

 

Lucy & Viv Put in a Tower:

Mr. Mooney locks Lucy & Viv in a secluded tower, and visits them by shouting: "Mrs. Carmichael! Mrs. Bagley! Let down your hair!"

 

Viv Grooves Out:

Mrs. Bagley is going through a mid-life crisis and starts acting like a hippie, much to Lucy's chagrin.

 

Lucy Gets Jack Benny's Discount:

After finding Jack Benny's wallet, Lucy takes full advantage of all his exclusive memberships and discounts, disguised as Jack Benny!

 

Lucy & The Countess Bruise Great:

Both flat broke, Lucy & Rosie take to the streets and become the two biggest thugs in Danfield, leaving Mooney with 2 shiners!

 

Lucy Belts the Countess:

Part 2 of the above episode. Rosie goes behind Lucy's back to do a job, and Lucy doesn't take it too well.

 

Lucy Gets Anasthesia:

Lucy gets a little too much novicane during a root canal and makes a fool of herself at a town speech that afternoon!

 

Lucy Makes a Grinch:

Sick to death of holiday cheer, Lucy goes around stealing gifts from everyone and thoroughly ruins Christmas in Danfield.

 

Lucy the Groin Inspector:

Lucy becomes a gynecologist.

 

My Bare Lucy:

Lucy becomes an ecdysiast.

 

Lucy Shaves Milton Berle:

Assuring him that he should be hairless if constantly performing in drag, Lucy proceeds to subject Milton Berle to a painful evening of shaving, epilating and waxing.

 

Lucy the Fembot:

Lucy & Viv undergo mysterious transformations after moving to Stepford, Connecticut ;)

 

Lucy Gets Distraught in the Craft:

Novice flyer Lucy has a panic attack aboard an airplane and finally gets banished to the luggage compartment to calm down.

 

Mooney the Chunky:

Lucy is forced to make all kinds of excuses for Mr. Mooney's sudden and rapid weight gain.

 

Lucy Defeats the Law:

Deciding to play by no ones rules but her own, Lucy Carmichael sets off to do away with codes and diplomacy!

 

Goodbye Mrs. Tits

Lucy decides to have breast reduction surgery to save herself from Harry's nonexistent wanderlust.

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Some of these aren't based on episode titles but hopefully it's ok to color outside the lines ;)

 

:professor: The Babalu Hillbillies

Tired of making records that don't sell, Ricky decides to cut a "country" record and to inspire him Lucy decides to a cook a possum that Little Ricky wants to keep as a pet. Cameo appearance by Bea Benaderet as Ethel's cousin Pearl.

 

:lucythrill:Lucy's Swedish Movie

Lucy proudly struts when she is signs to make a film with a famous director unaware that the film is going to be a porno.

 

:gale1:The Trouble With Harry

Lucy tries to think of a tactful way to address Harry's flatulence problem without risking her job.

 

:viv1: Have Another One, Ethel?

Ethel ends her friendship with Lucy when she learns Lucy is always feeding her when she visits so that she will always be fatter than Lucy.

 

:desijr:Craig's List

Snooping in her son's room like the average American mother, Lucy is perplexed to find a paper with the names, phone numbers, and star ratings of several Hollywood bachelors.

 

:lucy2:The Sonny Tufts Story

Mr. Mooney tries to persuade Lucy to let the (very) briefly popular 1940's actor stay with her while his house is being remodeled but Lucy refuses, having finally had her fill of fawning over third-tier celebrities.

 

:bill1: Fred Thinks He is Getting Bald

In the early stages of dementia, Fred believes he may be losing his hair.

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:lucyhaha: Lucy Fakes an Orgasm

When too much booze makes Ricky depressed and impotent, Lucy is determined to have him believe he is indeed a great lover.

 

:maryjane1: The Story of Mary Jane

Lucy learns her second-best friend is earning extra coin selling pot on the side.

 

:lucie:My Mother My Sale

After a lifetime of semi-repressed anger, Kim Carter ponders writing a Mommie Dearest book on Lucy Carter but changes her mind when she discovers there's more money in selling bric-a-brac with her mother's image to middle-aged homosexuals.

 

:desi1:Ricky Hires a Prostitute

Banning him from the bedroom after their latest fight, Lucy learns Ricky is seeking satisfaction elsewhere.

 

:lucyhmm:Lucy in Any Language

Deciding turnabout is fair play, Lucy learns German so she can curse Ricky out without him knowing what she is saying.

 

:ido:Lucy and Fred's Night in Town

Angry at their spouses, Lucy and Fred go down the corner bar to get plastered and end up spending the night together in a cheap hotel.

 

:lucydesi:I Love Lucy...and Susan...and Donna....and Juanita...and Teensy...

Lucy is devastated to learn Ricky's unending list of conquests includes best friend Ethel but Mrs. Trumble tries to comfort her saying even she has smoked that Cuban cigar.

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:lucyhaha: Lucy Fakes an Orgasm

When too much booze makes Ricky depressed and impotent, Lucy is determined to have him believe he is indeed a great lover.

 

HAHAHAHAHA!

 

:ido:Lucy and Fred's Night in Town

Angry at their spouses, Lucy and Fred go down the corner bar to get plastered and end up spending the night together in a cheap hotel.

 

Ok, that's just disgusting. lol

 

:lucydesi:I Love Lucy...and Susan...and Donna....and Juanita...and Teensy...

Lucy is devastated to learn Ricky's unending list of conquests includes best friend Ethel but Mrs. Trumble tries to comfort her saying even she has smoked that Cuban cigar.

 

OMG, who knew Mrs. Trumble was a ho?!

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Some of these aren't based on episode titles but hopefully it's ok to color outside the lines ;)

 

:professor: The Babalu Hillbillies

Tired of making records that don't sell, Ricky decides to cut a "country" record and to inspire him Lucy decides to a cook a possum that Little Ricky wants to keep as a pet. Cameo appearance by Bea Benaderet as Ethel's cousin Pearl.

 

:lucythrill:Lucy's Swedish Movie

Lucy proudly struts when she is signs to make a film with a famous director unaware that the film is going to be a porno.

 

:gale1:The Trouble With Harry

Lucy tries to think of a tactful way to address Harry's flatulence problem without risking her job.

 

:viv1: Have Another One, Ethel?

Ethel ends her friendship with Lucy when she learns Lucy is always feeding her when she visits so that she will always be fatter than Lucy.

 

:desijr:Craig's List

Snooping in her son's room like the average American mother, Lucy is perplexed to find a paper with the names, phone numbers, and star ratings of several Hollywood bachelors.

 

:lucy2:The Sonny Tufts Story

Mr. Mooney tries to persuade Lucy to let the (very) briefly popular 1940's actor stay with her while his house is being remodeled but Lucy refuses, having finally had her fill of fawning over third-tier celebrities.

 

:bill1: Fred Thinks He is Getting Bald

In the early stages of dementia, Fred believes he may be losing his hair.

 

LOL, love the Craig's List one!

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  • 2 months later...

Lucy, the American Father -- Lucy Carter goes drag to crash the set of RuPaul's Drag Race to meet her idol Shirley Jones.

 

Lucy, at the Drive-In Funeral Home -- Lucy makes a late night deposit after killing Ruth McDevitt

 

Lucy, the Cement Fitter -- After one of Harry's business deals turns sour, Lucy is forced to work for a mobster, making cement shoes for his enemies. (Guest Star: Bruce Gordon)

 

Lucy Loses Her Stool -- Lucy has an embarassing moment when she, Harry, and Mary Jane go on a murder mystery weekend and Harry ends up dead with Lucy the prime suspect

 

Lucy & The Cosmonauts -- Acting on a tip from Chuck Connors, Leonid Brezhnev comes to the Unique Employment Agency to replenish the Soviet Space Program's steno pool

 

Lucy & Her Genuine Trilby -- In order to make an informed pitch to a growing business sector, Lucy and Harry decide to live as hipsters for a week

 

Lucy is WTF at FCUK -- Lucy and Kim get jobs as mystery shoppers for all LA French Connection outlets. Chaos ensues.

 

Lucy & Emmylou Harris Strike Up The Band -- After Lucy is convinced by Kim to embrace the feminist movement, she and Mary Jane form a folk duo and join Lilith Fair

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Life With Lucy -- Season 2:

 

2.1 -- One Good Grandparent Deserves a Brother:

 

Redd Foxx buys Lucy Barker in a Sexy Singles charity auction at the Pasadena Seniors' Centre. (Guest Star: Redd Foxx)

 

2.2 -- Lucy Makes a Flop with John Ritter

 

Lucy convinces Curtis to invest in John Ritter's new musical stage adaptation of Three's Company -- "Tripper!" (Guest Stars: John Ritter, Don Knotts)

 

2.3 -- Love Among the Four-by-Fours

 

At a hardware expo, Lucy is dismayed when Curtis falls in head-over-heels in love with a tough talking lady car dealer. (Guest Star: Kathleen Freeman)

 

2.4 -- Lucy Gets Her Squires Crossed

 

Lucy can't decide between her rich suitor goofy and her new love interest, a retired television comedian but her mind is made up after she finds herself brawling with her new squeeze over a great floral frock in a Black Friday sale. (Guest Star: Milton Berle)

 

2.5 -- Lucy is a Lax Symbol

 

Lucy and Margo put one of Lucy's health drinks on the market to compete with Activia. (Guest Star: Jamie Lee Curtis)

 

2.6 -- Lucy & Curtis Are Out of Ghee

 

Ted and Margo send their parents on a seniors tour of India.

 

2.7 -- Lucy Makes Curtis Bite the Dust

 

After Curtis refuses to let Lucy and Margo order bulk appliances through M&B for their health drink business, Lucy tries to get even with him by having him knowingly turn on a lamp in a faulty plug. Curtis, who recently had a pace maker installed, is pronounced dead.

 

2.8 -- Lucy, the Legal Plea-gle

 

Vigorously defending Lucy against manslaughter charges against his better judgement -- after all, Curtis WAS his father, but Margo is very pursuasive -- Ted discovers Curtis never updated his will or life insurance policy after the Spanish Civil War, leaving everything to his cousin Harrison Otis Carter of Borrego Springs.

 

2.9 -- Brother of the Fried

 

After losing Carter's Unique Employment Agency in a Ponzi scheme, Harry moves in with the McGibbons, much to the dismay of Lucy, who got let off due to reasons of insanity.

 

2.10 -- Lucy & The Marred Flooz

 

Lucy's sister Audrey is caught in a paparazzi sting having an orgy in wine vat with Ernest, Julio, and several tiny tacos. (Guest Star: Audrey Meadows)

 

2.11 -- Harry's Green Chum

 

After Harry takes over Curtis' share of M&B Hardware he brings in a new investor who talks he and Lucy into selling bogus carbon credits on his behalf. (Guest Star: Ed Begley, Jr.)

 

2.12 -- Standing Up Is Hard To Do

 

Ryan Seacrest hires Lucy and Harry to be the focus of a new "reality sitcom", but face a critical mauling after pundits deem them "too old" to perform the kind of pratfalls they used to... which is unusual since this is their first foray into the medium.

 

2.13 -- World's Worst Granddaughter

 

Lucy is appalled to discover her granddaughter is holding the beloved teddy bear of a Miami widow hostage under the alias "Daisy." (Guest Star: Betty White)

 

2.14 -- Twas the Shock Before Christmas

 

With Margo, Ted, and the kids off on a family cruise for the holidays, a lonely Harry invites his sister in law to come spend the festive season with he and Lucy Barker. (Guest Star: Lucille Ball)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lucy, the American Father -- Lucy Carter goes drag to crash the set of RuPaul's Drag Race to meet her idol Shirley Jones.

 

Lucy, at the Drive-In Funeral Home -- Lucy makes a late night deposit after killing Ruth McDevitt

 

Lucy, the Cement Fitter -- After one of Harry's business deals turns sour, Lucy is forced to work for a mobster, making cement shoes for his enemies. (Guest Star: Bruce Gordon)

 

Lucy Loses Her Stool -- Lucy has an embarassing moment when she, Harry, and Mary Jane go on a murder mystery weekend and Harry ends up dead with Lucy the prime suspect

 

Lucy & The Cosmonauts -- Acting on a tip from Chuck Connors, Leonid Brezhnev comes to the Unique Employment Agency to replenish the Soviet Space Program's steno pool

 

Lucy & Her Genuine Trilby -- In order to make an informed pitch to a growing business sector, Lucy and Harry decide to live as hipsters for a week

 

Lucy is WTF at FCUK -- Lucy and Kim get jobs as mystery shoppers for all LA French Connection outlets. Chaos ensues.

 

Lucy & Emmylou Harris Strike Up The Band -- After Lucy is convinced by Kim to embrace the feminist movement, she and Mary Jane form a folk duo and join Lilith Fair

 

 

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! :lucyhaha:

Thanks, I needed that!!!

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Lucy Thinks Ricky is Trying to Seduce Her:

"I got a hickey from Ricky!"

 

Lucy F**ks Vincent Price:

Constantly star-struck Lucy Carter finally gets to experience one first hand :P

 

Lucy Plays Agave:

Lucy is cast as Agave in a Danfiled Community Players production of "The Bacchae", but the model of Mr. Mooney's severed head (playing Pentheus) is a little TOO realistic!

 

Lucy Goes to Some Valley:

After Ricky is foolish enough to let Lucy drive them to California, they end up lost in a great unknown valley that doesn't appear on any US map, and can't find a way out.

 

Lucy Pisses the Mertzes:

After another routine Ricardo-Mertz fight, Lucy goes too far by marking her territory in the Mertz's living room. Soon Fred and Ethel move due to the unknown smell, and Lucy feels terrible.

 

Fumigating the Mertz's Apartment:

Part 2 of the above episode. Lucy thoroughly cleans and fumigates the Mertz's apartment to get rid of her pee smell, and they finally move back.

 

Offed in Florida:

After a wild night of partying in Miami, Lucy wakes up next to a dead dancer and must reconstruct the previous evening to find out who's the murderer.

 

Lucy and the Bling-a-ding-ding:

Lucy goes ghetto

 

Lucy and the Mold Rush:

Lucy and Harry must hurry to clear the Unique Employment office of hazardous mold, with the health authorities tell them will cause bizarre mutations if untreated (and which explains a lot to Harry about Lucy)

 

Lucy & The Great Airport Race:

Lucy and Viv (in period dress) race through the airport in a horse drawn carriage ;)

 

Lucy and the Indian Chef:

Sanjeev Kapoor hires Lucy to assist him on his reality show, with disasterous results.

 

Lucy & the Hoagie Affair:

After two dozen subs are delivered to the office, with no clue who ordered them, Harry calls off work and holds a super office party...until the intended recipient of the sandwiches turns up demanding a refund!

 

Lucy Makes Flip Go A-quit!

After enlightening Flip Wilson on Hollywood's less than stellar track record with black actors, Flip quits his show and he and Lucy march on Washington!

 

Lucy & The Chinese Hearse:

In need of a company car, Harry instructs Lucy to buy one. She winds up with a hearse that once belonged to a Chinese funeral director, and soon all of Chinatown is following them wherever they drive.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The Black Dye:

After Umberto Fabriani rescues Lucy Carmichael from the vat of green dye, she promptly falls right into a vat of black dye and gets lost in the dark with no one able to find her.

 

The Floperetta:

Lucy & Ethel adapt "A Tree Grows in Havana" and "The Perils of Pamela" into a musical for the club, but even with song the play's still a dud.

 

Ricky Thinks He's Getting Mauled:

With his leg perpetually falling asleep, Ricky begins hallucinating that beasts are knawing at him, exacerbated by Lucy's pranks to egg him on.

 

Ricky's Fife Story:

After discovering the fife, Ricky gives up the conga drum and becomes Pan reincarnate, much to Lucy's frustration.

 

Lucy's Tightening Gown:

After a sumptuous dinner at 21, Ricky and the Mertz's notice Lucy's gown is straining at the seams, and place bets as to when it'll burst.

 

Lucy Razes Tulips:

After gunning down Betty Ramsey's garden by mistake, Lucy decides she rather liked the experience and soon becomes the terrifying enemy of every gardener in town!

 

Lucy Wins a Racecar:

After winning a racecar under Fred's name, Fred makes her join Nascar to earn him some dough.

 

Lucy Makes Room for Tammy:

The Ricardo's agree to host Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker for the weekend while the televangelists are appearing in Westport. Ricky and Fred see right through them, and it's up to Lucy and Ethel impersonating "followers" at the event to bring their greedy ways to everyone's attention.

 

The Ricardo's Stow to Japan:

Lucy will do anything to go to Europe with Ricky, even bunking inside his steamer trunk with Ethel...which of course gets loaded onto the wrong plane and winds up in Tokyo.

 

The Flushed Stash:

Would be plumbers Lucy and Ethel find a wob of dough has been clogging their drain, and must hurry and dry out the bills before they deteriorate...or get reclaimed by the mob boss who flushed it.

 

Lucy Buys a Jeep:

Lucy & Viv rough it in a Cherokee with the kids...and get stuck in the mud.

 

Lucy Takes a Job as a Skank:

Willing to do anything for money, Lucy poses as a trashy, loose woman at a discotheque to lure in crowds, but soon gets too good for her own good.

 

Lucy & The Trout Trip:

After a bit of E finds its way into Mrs. Carmichael's coffee courtesy of a rebellious Sherman, Lucy spends a happy day flopping around the house thinking she's a trout traveling downstream.

 

Lucy Gets Her Bran:

A constipated Lucy Carter wobbles around in discomfort until Harry's next paycheck arrives, and she can restock her supply of "Colon Blow Bran Flakes" (thanks Phil Hartman :) )

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"Lucy Sublets Her Orifice"

 

Short on money, Lucy enters the world's oldest profession.

 

"Lucy and the Italian Bomb Shelter"

 

While on vacation in Italy, Lucy accidently locks Harry in a WWII-era bomb shelter with now grown-up Giuseppe. Special appearance by Bart Braverman.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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