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On 1/29/2019 at 8:35 AM, RodMcK1 said:

"Lucy Gets Slummy With the Neighbors"

Upset that Betty and Ralph Ramsey are letting their home fall into disrepair, Lucy attempts to teach them a lesson by junking up the outside of her home.  The plan backfires when some of the cars parked on blocks in the front yard turn out to be reported as stolen.

This has REAL episode possibilities!

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Lucy Carter Meets Lucy Carmichael

In a spoof of "Wife Swap", the TV show "Secretary Swap" arrange for Lucy Carter and Lucy Carmichael to switch places. Will Lucy Carter handle the demands of Mr. Mooney? Or will Lucy Carmichael really show who is the boss at Harrison's Unique Employment Agency? Tune in!

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In honor of the upcoming Life With Lucy release:

One Bad Grandparent Deserves a Smother:
Curtis and Lucy's resentment of one another is taken to a new level when a sleepwalking Lucy attempts to smother Curtis in his sleep. A series of bizarre "accidents" then unfold with near fatal consequences for Lucy, such as the vibrating chair run amok. This ends after a stern lecture from Ted and Margo, who tell their parents that they're "too old" to be getting up to the same kind of shenanigans they used to.

Making Love Among the Two-by-Fours:
Leonard and his new girlfriend (Mindy Cohn) start having numerous lunchtime trysts around the hardware store, unaware Curtis has installed new security cameras after the burglary. The family gets the shock of their life, and the kids a lesson on the birds and the bees, when Curtis and Lucy review the tapes on the living room VCR.

Lucy Gets Her Pliers Lost:
While rearranging the P's, Mrs. Barker somehow misplaces an entire box of pliers, and will have the cost taken out of her paycheck if they don't turn up. The shoe's on the other foot, however, when Lucy discovers the box in Curtis' car. Realizing he was setting her up in order to have an excuse to fire her, Lucy spikes his fried eggs with laxatives the day an important client pays a visit.

Lucy is a Wax Symbol:
Wanting to stay hip, Lucy goes to a salon to inquire about bikini waxes. A representative from a hair removal company overhears her, and offers her free treatments in exchange for publicizing the results, as they wants to start appealing to an older demographic. Unfortunately, nobody told Lucy how painful this would be, and the deal goes sour fast when her televised waxing gets the company shut down for elderly abuse.

Lucy Makes Curtis Right the Bust:
Curtis is enlisted by Lucy to help redesign her brassieres, as the girls don't sit as evenly as they used to.

Mother of the Wide:
Good ol' two-chair Flo's mother (Frances Bavier) stops by to teach Curtis a lesson about fat-shaming.

Lucy & The Lard Caboose:
Mrs. Barker's infatuation with health food comes to an abrupt end after the latest tonic she tries (something called Vitametavegamin) causes her to black out. A post-hangover pizza rekindles her love of junk food, and soon Lucy can give cousin Flo a run for her money.

Lucy's Lean Bum:
Part two of the above episode - Lucy's weight becomes such an issue that the family ships her off to a health spa. Lucy soon turns weight loss into a competition after the spa's permanent resident Ann Sothern cracks, "and they said I got big!"

Cracking Up Is Easy to Do:
Curtis finally snaps his twig after cousins Ted and Harry introduce him to their respective secretaries.

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"World's Greatest Godmother"

With increasing competition from big-box, national chains, Lucy gets gangster to protect M & B Hardware.  Things heat up when Curtis sees that Lucy used the computer to "modem in" an order for several suspicious items.

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On 8/4/2019 at 11:31 AM, Luvsbway said:

I love that bikini wax one. All the faces Lucy could make.

I'd be too squeamish to watch this one.  But I love the others!

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45 minutes ago, Neil said:

I'd be too squeamish to watch this one.  But I love the others!

Just be happy you never have to get one.

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In recognition of a recent Life With Lucy DVD review that's generated some buzz around here:

Mooney the Ugly

Mr. Mooney is interviewed at the Westland Bank with the news station's state-of-the-art UHD cameras. Unfortunately, Mooney's visage in 4K, revealing every stingy pore in graphic closeup, causes mass hysteria in greater Los Angeleeze and leads to a smelling salt shortage. Online bloggers are ruthless and poor Mr. Mooney has to hide underneath a paper bag. It's up to Lucy, with her Mame-sized jar of chicken fat, to smear the lenses for Mooney's follow-up interview and restore calm.

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On 10/19/2019 at 10:10 AM, Mot Morenzi said:

In recognition of a recent Life With Lucy DVD review that's generated some buzz around here:

Mooney the Ugly

Mr. Mooney is interviewed at the Westland Bank with the news station's state-of-the-art UHD cameras. Unfortunately, Mooney's visage in 4K, revealing every stingy pore in graphic closeup, causes mass hysteria in greater Los Angeleeze and leads to a smelling salt shortage. Online bloggers are ruthless and poor Mr. Mooney has to hide underneath a paper bag. It's up to Lucy, with her Mame-sized jar of chicken fat, to smear the lenses for Mooney's follow-up interview and restore calm.

:lucyhaha:This makes me think of the 30 Rock bit where they put Liz Lemon in front of an HD camera and she came out looking like a hag. Maybe Mooney could take the same route as Catherine O’Hara in For Your Consideration (based on Sally Kirkland) and get copious amounts of plastic surgery!

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Lucy and the Rub-A-Dub-Dub

Joan Brenner gets the shock of her life when she discovers three men in Lucy's bathtub. Prudish Joan is eventually mollified after Lucy explains that the men in question were "friends" of her newly de-shelled roommate Carol Bradford, but not before Joan lands a precision F-strike and pulls the toilet chain, causing the water to run cold and the three fellas to jump out in shock.

 

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I had a ball writing these ones. Hope you enjoy. 

Don Juan and the Shallots
Lucy makes the mistake of serving a meal containing shallots the night before Ricky shoots an important close-up, completely forgetting about his onion allergy. Unfortunately for Ricky, she threw in so many that he's soon experiencing every symptom in the book. With his face covered in hives and lips swollen bigger than Marilyn Monroe's, Ricky hardly looks like the living end come morning, and it's up to Lucy and Ethel at the makeup table to make him appear presentable. They do a respectable job, and the camera lens at least doesn't crack when focused on him. Unfortunately, midway through a take the internal symptoms kick in, causing the five starlets to head screaming for Holmby Hills at the speed of light.

Ricky's Movie Coffer
Crafty as always, Lucy sneaks her leftover shallot recipe onto the craft services table, proceeds to throw a huge fit at Dore Schary for allowing MGM to serve Ricky something he was allergic to, and presents him with several demands. Fearing a potential lawsuit, Schary agrees to a hefty payout and allows Ricky time off to recover, thus setting the Ricardos up financially for some time. (He doesn't, however, acquiesce to Lucy's other demand that he grant her a 3-picture deal.)

Ethel's Lone Gown
Ethel's in a pickle when her one dress gets ruined by the cleaners the day before Ricky's big Hollywood premiere. She and Lucy then sneak into the MGM wardrobe department to find the perfect replacement, with Ethel having her heart set on Vivien Leigh's green curtain dress. When Ethel can't cram her bustle into it, Lucy improvises, resulting in Ethel wearing a pair of actual curtains (complete with rod) to the premiere instead. Ethel's unique red carpet look makes Don Juan costume designer Bob Mackie vow to one day replicate it in a comedy sketch. Concurrently, Lucy tries on the ruby slippers and can't get them off after her feet swell up, forcing Ricky to come to her defense after she gets accosted by security - "The only thing red about her is her hair!"

Don Juan is Slammed
Ricky regrets Metro deciding not to shelve Don Juan after all when the film is panned by critics and audiences alike. Most reviews specifically target Ricky's accent as being indecipherable, resulting in Lucy imploring Metro to hire Mr. Livermore as dialect coach for his next picture. Livermore agrees on the proviso that he get to sing his "Tippy Tippy Toe" song. After screen-testing Livermore, Metro decides Ricky's not worth it, and recast with Xavier Valdez for Don Juan II: Electric Boogaloo.

In Guam Springs
Lucy and Ethel accidentally board the wrong plane en route to Palm Springs and wind up in Guam instead. Far from rainfall and their husbands, and surrounded by sunshine and hunks, the girls really cut loose, causing Ricky and Fred to wonder if they'll ever see their wives again. The bathing suit boys lose interest, however, when they spot Lucy and Ethel sans girdles, causing the gals to reconsider the merits of their former lives.

The Christmas Horror Show
Lucy seeks the services of a feesakeeatrist (Hal March) to help her cope with longstanding nightmares about the vanishing Santa Claus she and the gang encountered years ago. Unfortunately for her, this particular practitioner is an unscrupulous Hollywood wannabe who steals his patients' stories for script ideas. A few months after their first session, Lucy is mortified to see a poster for an upcoming B-horror film, Santa Slays the Redhead! After threatening to sue, Lucy is granted story credit, but the film's negative reviews only ensure that not even Milt Josefsberg would ever hire her. 

Lucy Learns to Dive
Still pining for a Hollywood career after her story writing failure, Lucy invests in comprehensive swimming lessons in the hopes of becoming Esther Williams' stunt double. Unfortunately, Hedda Hopper spots her in the pool, and soon the papers are full of stories about Lucy's dubious water ballet talents. Mrs. McGillicuddy seeks revenge on her "friend's" actions by kicking her semi-cute granddaughter off the Redbluff merry-go-round so Little Ricky can utilize his free pass.

Ricky's Queen Test
Hoping to expand his versatility, MGM considers Ricky for the lead in their Don Loper biopic, and hires a pair of eccentric acting coaches (Paul Lynde and Gale Gordon) to help accentuate Ricky's fussiness and bitchiness. The lessons work too well, and soon Ricky becomes the cattiest queen imaginable on and off-screen, rolling his eyes at the mere mention of Mrs. Richard Carlson and finally giving him a suitable demeanour to face off against Mrs. McGillicuddy. But he's no match for the real Don Loper, who, unimaginably insulted, retaliates by demanding $500 for Lucy's fashion show dress. ("I expect payment by nooooon!")

Bullsh*t Dance
Lucy's wish finally comes true when her sterling performance with Van Johnson is witnessed by prominent choreographers Jack Faker and Anita Fello (Jay Novello and Imogene Coca), who decide to make her into Hollywood's next dancing sensation. Unfortunately, they and venomous fishwife Herbert Menwith (Lou Krugman), the director of Waltzing Petunias, soon learn the hard way that Lucy's move set is very limited, and certainly not enough for her to handle the elaborately choreographed picture. After one disastrous rehearsal, Menwith blows his stack at Lucy and threatens to fire her for failing to perform to his satisfaction. Lucy breaks down in tears and flees to her dressing room, but calms down after a pep-talk with Ricky and the wardrobe woman (Vanda Barra). After Menwith cools down as well, he realises both he and the technicolor cameras are absolutely in love with Lucy's fiery red hair. Determined to still use her, he ultimately settles for filming her face only in close ups, with a bewigged Ann Miller serving as body double for the wide shots (resulting in the film being renamed Tap Dancing Petunias).

The Dancing Czar 
Burgeoning starlet Lucy feels threatened by powerhouse Ann Miller, who makes no secret of her displeasure that she's the dance double for a nobody. Miller is soon making overtures to the director to ditch Lucy and make her the star. Determined not to let Ann win, Lucy flies in Madame LeMond to assist Jack and Anita in turning her into the next best thing to Cyd Charisse. Everyone is blown away by Lucy's terpsichorean skills the following week, and it becomes clear that Ann's services are no longer required. Defeated, Miller quits showbusiness and takes a job at the Piggly Wiggly. 

The Star Upsets
Lucy's movie proves to be a far bigger smash than Ricky's, earning rave reviews and enormous box office receipts. It isn't long before fame goes to Lucy's head, and soon she considers Ricky and the Mertzes beneath her attention. Moving out of their "crummy dump" of a room and into Cornel Wilde's former penthouse, Lucy can soon give Tallulah Bankhead a run for her money in the diva department. Furious, Ricky and the Mertzes conspire to teach her a lesson by becoming "anonymous sources" to Hedda Hopper, who's column is soon filled with damning copy about "The Red Rehead!" A chastened Lucy must come back to earth to clear her name before Joseph McCarthy (Jack Webb) and the HUAC. After being acquitted, Lucy promises to behave herself, but aligns with Louella Parsons for future press coverage.

The Fashion Dough
When one of Lucy's costumes from Tap Dancing Petunias fetches a high price at a charity auction, Fred sees dollar signs and is soon attempting to sell every article of clothing Lucy owns. Outfits such as the starch vat dress, and an ensemble she wore during a health tonic commercial that subsequently went viral, collect scads of money, and soon Fred is rolling in it. The jig is up when Lucy and Ricky catch wind of the scheme and demand repayment for selling her belongings without permission. Fred is forced to pick oranges out in Pomona to help repay the debt, while Lucy is thrilled to go on a shopping spree for a whole new wardrobe (this time, she isn't kidding when telling Ricky she hasn't got a thing to wear).

Ethel's Contract
Fred and Ethel make a big impression with their bit parts in their vaudeville friend's picture, and are soon offered their own television series by a producer (Phil Ober) hoping to capitalize on their amazing chemistry. Fred is thrilled by the idea, but Ethel less so, as she can't stand the idea of not only having to live with the old poop but work with him every day as well. Ethel ultimately relents after getting Lucy to once again play agent, who lays down the law with a series of strict contractual demands: no scenes in bed together, co-star billing, a glamorous wardrobe, equal pay to Fred, and several hiatuses per year to recuperate in New York. I Heart Honeybunch proves to be a hit, but Ethel leaves after three seasons to settle down in Connecticut with her dashing new beau: 22-year-old cat food salesman John R. Dodds (Rhodes Reason). The retooled show, Fred Sings the Old Ones, doesn't fare so well without his charming child bride of 1934, causing Fred to throw in the towel and become full-time housekeeper for a single father and his three sons. 

New York, Here We Come
The gang leaves Hollywood behind in Ricky's Pontiac, deciding to drive home for one simple reason: to visit "all of the places everyone wanted to see" that they somehow forgot to visit on the way out! Naturally, everything that can go wrong does: Ethel gets lost in the Carlsbad Caverns, Lucy gets stranded while climbing the Ozarks, Fred regrets going to Salt Lake City after being accosted by missionaries, while Ricky loses his elevated shoes to an alligator in New Orleans. They're so defeated by the time they reach Ohio, they greet Mr. Skinner and the One Oak cabin with open arms.

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