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Luvsbway

Gary letters

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JessiLu    30
23 hours ago, Luvsbway said:

I am a bit confused with the remodeling Paula talks about. She said the PS house was during Mame. But I thought it was earlier. And I always thought the bathroom remodel was during Mame as a surprise to Lucy. But Lucy didn’t go out of town for Mame. So how was it a surprise when they are doing construction in your sleeping area ( I spent 3 weeks with a bath remodel, thought I was going to lose my mind.)? So it does make sense to me that if Lucy was busy with Mame she would not have had time to go to PS.

Maybe Paula had her timeline wrong. There were a few things in her book that I noticed the fact checkers missed, like Lucie and Desi Jr’s ages (citing them way  far apart) and being off by a decade on the year of one of Lucy’s films.

Another interesting tidbit about Gary from Paula’s book: his need to have large closets, to the point where Lucy had to store some of her clothes in other closets in the house because his took up all the room. I ever imagined Gary to be the GQ fashionista type. 

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Luvsbway    1,927

Paula also thought DeDe was Catholic, but I can see where she thought that as DeDe did take the kids to   church in the 60s.  

Oh Gary was a super clothes guy. In one letter Lucy wrote this:

“I’ll find a way if he cooperates-I want those great clothes he dotes on to look as great on him as they always have”

Lucy had a cedar closet out in the garage I think she stored her old costumes and things in. But that’s crazy her had more space than her. In an article I once found, at the Chatsworth house it said Lucy had so many clothes Desi had to keep all his in another room’s closet.

You’d think at Roxbury they would have had more room.  What I don’t get in the setup is how big was this bedroom? It must have had lots of little rooms shooting off it. I’ve read everything from Lucy having her own little room to write in, to 2 bathrooms, to Gary’s sauna and then there was this closet room that Desi slept in when they weren’t sharing a bed. Maybe that “bedroom” took up half the upstairs.

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JessiLu    30

Yes, it would be interesting to know the evolution of the Roxbury house, from when they first bought it and continuing through the years. And Lucy sounds like a pretty accomodating wife if she was happy to let Gary indulge his passion for fashion. I wouldn't let any man have more closet space than me! :D

Just to follow up on some of the earlier conversation about Lucy avoiding using the word "love" when speaking about Desi in interviews after the divorce, I found one exception from 1984. Here's an excerpt, in which she is actually pretty candid about him:

Then the subject of Desi Arnaz was raised, Lucy grew immediately wistful and nostalgic.

"What can I tell you, I loved him," she said, a tear beginning to form in her left eye. "He and I just had different hopes for what love and marriage ought to be. But, he's a great father to our kids…a good man." With that, Lucy began dabbing at her eyes. "I'll never stop loving Desi. And I know how much he'll always love me. He and I are good now. Growing older and maturing is the best thing that ever happened to us. And you know it's no secret that we had our problems, but I can look at Desi now and remember the fantastic times we had together back then, too."

"That's all you're getting out of me!" her voice rising. "Can we change the subject please?"


Full interview available here: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2758446/posts

It sounds like Lucy was pre-gaming this interview with one of her slushies, so... in vino veritas! 

Seriously, though, I think this quote helps confirm why the marriage with Gary worked: she and Gary were apparently more on the same page about what love and marriage should be, while Lucy and Desi weren't. 

I also love this quote because it demonstrates that Lucy and Desi's relationship ended on a good note. There was a lot of bitterness at the begining of their life post-divorce, and so much sadness that Lucy couldn't watch Desi on a re-run of ILL for years. But to hear her say that she could now look at him and remember the good times instead of the terrible times is wonderful. And to hear that their relationship had grown and matured -- even though they were divorced -- was sweet. This comment -- made two years before Desi died -- tells me that in some small way, they had a happy ending. 

That said, it's interesting that talking about Desi could instantly bring Lucy to tears, as it did in Dr. Chirban's interview a few years earlier. In Dr. Chriban's interview transcript commentary, he stated that the breakup with Desi was "still quite a live drama for her." So while she felt that their relationship matured and maybe even forgave him, the pain was still there, even 20 and 25 years later. I guess they had a bittersweet happy ending. 

One final thought about the 1984 interview, and her reference to Viv as the love of her life: at least Desi and Gary didn't have to compete for that title! :lucythrill:
 

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Luvsbway    1,927

Thanks for the link to that article. I would love to find if he actually printed the interview as it sounds like it would have been a treasure trove of info. Given the Dr. Chirban interview from 82' and this one from 84' you can tell that if she feels comfortable with the interviewer she's more willing to open up. Could be age, booze, or water under the bridge. I also wonder if print vs TV made a difference too.  Still so many TV interviews that need to be unearthed. 

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Luvsbway    1,927

/78

Thursday 3:00pm

Dearest adorable “One and Only Gary”-

I’m alone in the house for the first time in months-I’m packed-half sent on my way to Colorado-and I was suddenly in need of telling you how full and over flowing I feel my love for you. You’re sexy, adorable, sensible, ever-present understanding of our special compatibility—our good fortune have found each other when we did. Our being able to handle our “situations” as they arrive-mostly because of your contribution in sensibility—no matter what terrifying “thing” arises concerning our children or our families in general. I am so grateful to you and when you have been away from me for any length of time I’m afraid you might forget how aware I am of your finer qualities, plus a lot more which would seem facetious at this moment.

You Gary are something special and very precious to me and I want you to never forget it!

Going up to Colorado this trip is just an interlude to really show off my northern edifice- of which- as you know I am particularly proud, and slightly in sorrow about now that I can no more really enjoy and explore it’s many attributes. However I feel the kids may enjoy it in the future-so I continue to turn down fabulous offers to get rid of it. I know and understand perfectly your dislike of the area but I also know you understand my love for it—and perhaps you will even condescend to go fishing in the fall again sometime. I would like that.

I really love the idea of your true love of our Palm Springs place and the enjoyment and escape it affords you. I never resent your time there—ever!

You even understand instantly when I did not want to be present while Lucie “tried out” another friend. You know it bothers me and inhibits her. That’s another wonderful fact of your personality. I really “feel” for my kids in this search for companions. They are aware because of you that there are still wonderful mates in this world—and I’m sure that helps them looking and hoping. I just wish they didn’t give so much going in and had more to offer in reserve. These days they don’t have any guide lines—and that’s really what I’m writing about now. I do think you and I together—happy and surviving—is the greatest “guide line” we can offer—if they can believe in us—and our love for each other.

You may have many times thought I have thanked your mom and your family-per se-for just being you—and thought of it facetiously—but I really am grateful for Gary—

My One and Only—“Your Missus”

 

Lucy uses the word ‘facetious’ twice in this letter. I didn’t know what that meant. It’s ‘treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor; flippant.’.

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JessiLu    30

Thanks for posting this!

Interesting that Lucy thought that Lucie and Desi Jr. could look to her and Gary's marriage as somewhat of a model relationship. 

Also interesting to hear Lucy reference the in-laws! I don't recall hearing much about Lucy's relationship with Gary's mother and any other family of his. 

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Luvsbway    1,927

In Lee's book is the most of heard about Gary's mom and his sister Helen. Seemed Helen was around at times. Also it might be in a letter I posted here but Lucy talks about the Jewish mother ideal and that she liked what it meant.

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