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Failed Pilots from LBP

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

FRANNY GET YOUR GUN - 1965

This spinoff of "The Lucy Show" finds Fran (Mary Wickes) becoming a Danfield police officer after suffering a divorce and midlife crisis. Her sweet and absent-minded nature initially tests the patience of Police Chief Frank Snerd (Parley Baer), so he assigns her to be partners with tough-talking beat cop Gert Scabb (Iris Adrian). The two wind up moving into Lucy's old house, where they're coerced into heading up the neighborhood watch program.

In a recurring subplot, Volunteer Fire Captain Thelma Green (Carole Cook) forms a rivalry with Fran, whom she feels deserted her post, and frequently organizes softball tournaments against the police women.

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Freddie2    859

FRANNY GET YOUR GUN - 1965

 

This spinoff of "The Lucy Show" finds Fran (Mary Wickes) becoming a Danfield police officer after suffering a divorce and midlife crisis. Her sweet and absent-minded nature initially tests the patience of Police Chief Frank Snerd (Parley Baer), so he assigns her to be partners with tough-talking beat cop Gert Scabb (Iris Adrian). The two wind up moving into Lucy's old house, where they're coerced into heading up the neighborhood watch program.

 

In a recurring subplot, Volunteer Fire Captain Thelma Green (Carole Cook) forms a rivalry with Fran, whom she feels deserted her post, and frequently organizes softball tournaments against the police women.

Wondaful. The name Gert Scabb is a work of art.
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JoeySoCal    1,017

AHHHHHHHH, come on back 'innocence of youth' - I NEVER KNEW.  I just LOVED CNR and PL; and tolerated Liberace, since Mother LOVED him!!!!

 

Funny, I guess I was about 12 or thereabouts; and mother said, a kid in our nearby-Village [West Ellicott] turned into a girl; and I didn't even know what THAT meant!  And, it SURELY wasn't explained to me! 

 

Like I said, was raised color blind; and everything else. 

 

Charles, Paul, Liberace in the sort of scenario you mentioned would have been a 'lovefest' for me to watch; I'd have laughed myself silly; and they were always my 'favorites' on the game, and talk shows. 

 

Another one I loved, as the guy, can't recall name right now, although it's on the tip of my tongue; was the guy who threw confetti all the time; just loved him.  [someone help me here or it'll drive me over the edge - AGAIN, TODAY! PROVIDING THE CHRONOLOGY DOESN'T GET TO ME FIRST!!!! :HALKING:]

I dunno I didn't know "fer shure" what "it" was that was wrong with me till my early teens, especially after developing a mad "crush" on my best friend (aahhh...puppy love...too bad he turned out to be a dog! :blink: ) but even I knew that Liberace was a flaming queen back then, young as I was, and I still can't believe to this day how many nice ladies -- and considering they always say how "mothers always know!" -- had NO idea about Liberace!!! Really?? I mean he did everything but wear a neon sign!

 

I'll just never understand! :HALKING:

 

And Joyce the dear man whom I've had the pleasure of meeting (he used to frequent a popular West Hollywood breakfast diner called Silver Spoon whom the neighborhood and several "old timey" celebs (Shelly Winters, Carol Kane, Robert Foster, Dee Wallace Stone etc.) frequented before it was sold and razed only to come back as a gentrified, trendy seafood restaurant is Rip Taylor.  This was a few years ago but last I heard he was still going strong and as sharp as ever!

 

God I miss that place!!  :peachonthebeach:

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Neil    1,371

I LOVE both of these!   Actual series potential

REDHEAD, WHITE, AND BLUE
 

 

 

FRANNY GET YOUR GUN - 1965

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

OPINING WOMEN - 1970

 

Carole Cook - Carole Walters

Ann Sothern - Ann Hasslebeck

Kaye Ballard - Kaye Goldberg

Vanda Barra - Vanda Behar

 

Progressive, groundbreaking sitcom about four women with varying personalities and political views being asked to form television's first all-female roundtable, "Opining Women."

 

Even-tempered and fair minded centrist Carole heads the group, and it's her responsibility to keep the other three in check: religious, conservative and holier-than-thou Ann; volatile and bombastic liberal Kaye; and wisecracking, potty-mouthed socialist Vanda.

 

The first act of each episode entails the behind-the-scenes dramas and shenanigans involved in preparing the show, while the second act focuses on the program itself, and how the women deal with the inevitable flair-ups and network unfriendly mishaps. Each week features a special guest star playing his or herself, to provide additional commentary and launch the discussion point for each particular episode.

 

Pilot guest star: Arthur Godfrey shares his views on Judiaism and Feminism.

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Neil    1,371

THIS IS TINKY!

 

Mel Torme reprises his "Lucy Show" role as Mel Tinker whose music career takes a nosedive after "that great new ballad" fails to chart and Barney Miller lets his contract with Pop Records lapse.  When partner Lucy Carmichael leaves the Tear-Ducts for movie stuntman work, Mel enlists one of the Sob Sisters as the other duct. But the demo they cut for Mr. Morton of the Morton Record Company is an unfortunate choice:

"My Toupee Just Lies on the Shelf (When My Hair Grows Back In By Itself)".

Mr. Morton is not amused and passes. 

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

THIS IS TINKY!

 

Mel Torme reprises his "Lucy Show" role as Mel Tinker whose music career takes a nosedive after "that great new ballad" fails to chart and Barney Miller lets his contract with Pop Records lapse.  When partner Lucy Carmichael leaves the Tear-Ducts for movie stuntman work, Mel enlists one of the Sob Sisters as the other duct. But the demo they cut for Mr. Morton of the Morton Record Company is an unfortunate choice:

"My Toupee Just Lies on the Shelf (When My Hair Grows Back In By Itself)".

Mr. Morton is not amused and passes.

 

Hah! Will Torme allow a laugh track?

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

OPINING WOMEN - 1970

Carole Cook - Carole Walters

Ann Sothern - Ann Hasslebeck

Kaye Ballard - Kaye Goldberg

Vanda Barra - Vanda Behar

Progressive, groundbreaking sitcom about four women with varying personalities and political views being asked to form television's first all-female roundtable, "Opining Women."

Even-tempered and fair minded centrist Carole heads the group, and it's her responsibility to keep the other three in check: religious, conservative and holier-than-thou Ann; volatile and bombastic liberal Kaye; and wisecracking, potty-mouthed socialist Vanda.

The first act of each episode entails the behind-the-scenes dramas and shenanigans involved in preparing the show, while the second act focuses on the program itself, and how the women deal with the inevitable flair-ups and network unfriendly mishaps. Each week features a special guest star playing his or herself, to provide additional commentary and launch the discussion point for each particular episode.

Pilot guest star: Arthur Godfrey shares his views on Judiaism and Feminism.

Should the pilot get a series greenlight, subsequent guest stars will include:

 

- Bob Hope on the importance of memorization.

- Gary Morton on the importance of making it on your own and not piggybacking.

- Gale Gordon discusses versatility and subtlety.

- Richard Nixon espouses his virtues of transparency, honesty and incorruptibility.

- Anita Bryant discusses homosexuals and The Bible. Needless to say, this episode ends in a pie fight.

- Carol Burnett pitches ridiculously expensive 8-tracks containing highlights from her series.

- A special Mother's Day appearance by Joan Crawford and Bette Davis.

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Neil    1,371

Should the pilot get a series greenlight, subsequent guest stars will include:

 

 

- Anita Bryant discusses homosexuals and The Bible. Needless to say, this episode ends in a pie fight.

 

- A special Mother's Day appearance by Joan Crawford and Bette Davis.

 

Yes I want to see the episode "Anita Bryant Judges Lucy & Viv's Baking Contest".   Other bakers submitting entries in the otherwise all-female band of contestants are Spike and Valter who despite their barely concealed seething, "pull in their claws" trying to curry the favor of the celebrity judge with her flip anti-gay rhetoric.  However after lame-brained Anita makes one of her dim-witty remarks referencing their entrees: "These are fruit pies if I've ever seen them", the oven mitts are off for Valter and Spike and Anita barely survives the pie-goo blitzkrieg.

Post pie-fight,  Anita, combing meringue out of her hair,  is heard to mutter "I knew it would end like this!" and is not consoled by Ann Miller who offers "Oh honey, meringue is the PERFECT hair gel"

 

And the 2nd one generating a real Jerry Springer free-for-all when Christina and BD come on as surprise guests, presenting a real challenge to the on-stage heavy-weight  bouncer, Our Own Jody Gilbert, whose is approached pre-show by CC and BD wondering if their mothers will welcome their surprise appearance.  Jody responds with (what else?) "But of course.  You'll be as welcome as the flowers in May.", the sarcasm of which goes over the heads of our two daughters-from-hell.

Jody can only back off when the melee stars.

Bette and Joan in unison: "GET US TWO AXES!!", the two stars at long last finding solidarity when each starts hacking away at the other's sharper-than-serpeant's-tooth daughter.  

Joan: "Bette, for once I don't mind your BO".  

Bette: "Fuck this soft-sided Dutch cleanser can, Joan dear, bring on the Pepsi bottles!" 

With Christina now reduced to a bloody severed-limp pulp, Jody seizes the opportunity and goes on in her place for "The Secret Storm", set to air live from the next studio moments after the talk show is done  taping, a huge surprise to her 20-something love interest on the show *

So disfigured is poor Christina,  the only acting job offer to come along later is playing the title character in her mother's last move "Trog", the budget-conscious producer trying to save the cost of a special make-up person.  

 

* The coda to this is that the actor playing Christina's character's fiance wins a special daytime Emmy in the "Timothy Dalton Sextette/Pepto Bismal" category for his ability to swoon ecstatic without flinching at the sight of his "new" 26-year-old bride-to-be. 

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

Yes I want to see the episode "Anita Bryant Judges Lucy & Viv's Baking Contest".   Other bakers submitting entries in the otherwise all-female band of contestants are Spike and Valter who despite their barely concealed seething, "pull in their claws" trying to curry the favor of the celebrity judge with her flip anti-gay rhetoric.  However after lame-brained Anita makes one of her dim-witty remarks referencing their entrees: "These are fruit pies if I've ever seen them", the oven mitts are off for Valter and Spike and Anita barely survives the pie-goo blitzkrieg.

Post pie-fight,  Anita, combing meringue out of her hair,  is heard to mutter "I knew it would end like this!" and is not consoled by Ann Miller who offers "Oh honey, meringue is the PERFECT hair gel"

 

And the 2nd one generating a real Jerry Springer free-for-all when Christina and BD come on as surprise guests, presenting a real challenge to the on-stage heavy-weight  bouncer, Our Own Jody Gilbert, whose is approached pre-show by CC and BD wondering if their mothers will welcome their surprise appearance.  Jody responds with (what else?) "But of course.  You'll be as welcome as the flowers in May.", the sarcasm of which goes over the heads of our two daughters-from-hell.

Jody can only back off when the melee stars.

Bette and Joan in unison: "GET US TWO AXES!!", the two stars at long last finding solidarity when each starts hacking away at the other's sharper-than-serpeant's-tooth daughter.  

Joan: "Bette, for once I don't mind your BO".  

Bette: "Fuck this soft-sided Dutch cleanser can, Joan dear, bring on the Pepsi bottles!" 

With Christina now reduced to a bloody severed-limp pulp, Jody seizes the opportunity and goes on in her place for "The Secret Storm", set to air live from the next studio moments after the talk show is done  taping, a huge surprise to her 20-something love interest on the show *

So disfigured is poor Christina,  the only acting job offer to come along later is playing the title character in her mother's last move "Trog", the budget-conscious producer trying to save the cost of a special make-up person.  

 

* The coda to this is that the actor playing Christina's character's fiance wins a special daytime Emmy in the "Timothy Dalton Sextette/Pepto Bismal" category for his ability to swoon ecstatic without flinching at the sight of his "new" 26-year-old bride-to-be.

 

ROFLMAO!!!!!

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

MY MOTHER THE TSAR - 1970

 

Reba Sheridan (Barbara Eden) has her life turned upside down when she discovers that her mother (Ann Sothern) is actually the reincarnated Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia.

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JoeySoCal    1,017

MY MOTHER THE TSAR - 1970

 

Reba Sheridan (Barbara Eden) has her life turned upside down when she discovers that her mother (Ann Sothern) is actually the reincarnated Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia.

Awww some Jeannie love! Love it! *insert "blink" sound effect here!* :peachonthebeach:

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Brock    3,391

MY MOTHER THE TSAR - 1970

 

Reba Sheridan (Barbara Eden) has her life turned upside down when she discovers that her mother (Ann Sothern) is actually the reincarnated Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia.

 

 

:HALKING: Love it!

 

With Lucie Arnaz singing the theme: "My mother the tsar, as able as Abdul-Jabbar."

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Mot Morenzi    1,560

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO LITTLE ETHEL? - 1962

Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance reprise their famous characters from "I Love Lucy" with a shocking new twist. Faded child star and vaudevillian Ethel Mertz and discontent former housewife Lucy Ricardo, both recently widowed after an unfortunate chicken coop incident claimed both Fred and Ricky, attempt to relaunch their aborted showbusiness careers. Ethel is furious when Lucy's career takes off without Ricky to hold her back, whereas people have little interest in "Little Ethel" now that she's all grown up and no longer has her vaudeville partner by her side. Resorting to cheap liquor and cheap men (and cheap glue) to soothe her battered soul, a growing bitterness takes hold of Ethel until she can't stand to look her former best friend in the eye. Lucy grows to resent Ethel's increasing paranoia and jealousy as well, until finally, in a drunken haze, a horrible car crash confines Lucy to a wheelchair - Ethel's situational driving skills being in the off-phase this particular day.

"But 'cha ah, Lucy. Ya AH in the chayah!"

For the next 20 years, she's at the mercy of Little Ethel's madness and instability, being fed snails (again) and rats sautéed in the basement furnace, culminating in a gourmet dinner with Fred the dog as the main course. The old freezer, meanwhile, becomes the final resting place for all the chickens. Little Ethel is now completely lost in her own world, singing "Shortnin'' Bread" over and over while gazing into the full-length mirror, dressed head-to-toe in an Indian dress with matching Eskimo coat and Geisha wig. Longing for a comeback, she eventually hires Little Ricky to write her a vehicle. Thinking his mother died in the accident, he is unaware that she is being kept out of sight in the next room, drugged into a stupor by being force-fed Vitametavegamin. Will he be able uncover the truth and save his beloved mother before the old dishwater blonde lowers the boom on her once and for all?

This 2-hour TV movie, intended as a pilot for an "I Love Lucy" sequel series, granted Vivian Vance her wish to make Ethel deeper...and darker. The controversial direction the story took, however, led to its demise after a single outing.

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