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Neil

The "Here's Lucy" reboot

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Mot Morenzi    1,407
5 hours ago, Neil said:

He meets up with a meek taxidermist/motel owner who suggests Herbie tap into the small but loyal following of men attracted to the motherly-type with a yen for the bare bodies of “older women”.

Love it!

5 hours ago, Neil said:

They are shocked to discover the three scantily-clad Danfield dowagers on stage doing a number from “Gypsy” with parody lyrics: “You Gotta Have a Girdle”.  

I want to hear these lyrics.

5 hours ago, Neil said:

VANDA’S BARR-ASS & VIVIAN’S BUNS-ON DISPLAY—

ICEBERG LEWIS REVEALS WHAT’S BELOW HER SURFACE--- IN HERBIE WALTON’S SUNSET STRIP STRIP CLUB” .

These are sensational! I wonder what LOOSEY CARMICHAEL/CARTER'S reaction would've been.

5 hours ago, Neil said:

Vern Bunson: Mark Herron

This is particularly amusing to me for some reason :D

Absolute genius through and through. I'll come up with a conclusion to my previous arc soon. In fact, I may be able to incorporate some of this plot into it.

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Mot Morenzi    1,407

"A Nude Lease on Life" - Life with Vanda isn't nearly as peaceful as Mary Jane expected after the Hinkley ordeal. Feeling liberated after their stint down at Maggie & Jiggles, Vanda has taken to lounging around the house in the buff, whereas modest Mary Jane wants to put the whole thing behind her and has buttoned up her overcoat once more. Viv Jones is feeling equally free by example of her sister, and starts popping over for nights of naked karaoke with Vanda (complete with modified lyrics to popular songs, such as "Open a Nude Window" and "Flapping Along in the Breeze"). After Viv can't keep her big bazoo shut down at Sid's café, word spreads all over town, and soon Mary Jane's house becomes the premiere nudist hangout in all of Los Angeleeze. After Harry uses his connections at City Hall to turn a blind eye to zoning restrictions, he's soon selling tickets at the door wearing nothing but his plaid apron. Even modest Carol joins in the fun, wearing her faux Bob Mackie breasts to fit in.

It isn't long before Mary Jane dearly misses Herb and DeDe and would give anything to have them back in her house, as Vanda doesn't seem likely to give up her newfound hobby anytime soon. Unfortunately, Floreen and Wilbur have ingratiated themselves into the Hinkley's lives next door and are already into week six of their "one week visit," and DeDe and Herb are clearly as desperate to get rid of them as Mary Jane had been. Knowing what prudish DeDe would think of the happenings in her home, Mary Jane hatches a plan. After getting those kooks Flo and Wilbur on board, she tells Harry and Vanda that her house needs to be fumigated, but the Hinkleys next door would be "happy" to host them for the evening. Later on, DeDe and Herb return from a late movie to find a birthday suit party in full swing, complete with her sister and brother-in-law leading a swing dance and Viv clunking her way through "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain" on the piano. After DeDe comes to, she orders everyone out and tells Vanda she can have her house back. Vanda happily accepts, and Mary Jane is waiting at the door with open arms for Herb and DeDe.

Vanda, meanwhile, decides she misses living with Sam and invites him back to the house, where he's only too happy to join in her new lifestyle. They go back to wearing clothes soon afterwards, however, when Sam's penchant for frying industrial-size slabs of bacon ends in tears at the emergency room.

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Neil    1,280

(I was wondering anyone would bet my "Mark Herron" reference)

HERBIE RIDES AGAIN--part 2  (which precedes the above---brilliant--- "Nude Lease on Life" episode.  Note to Mot: our ratings may not be huge, but we're pulling in a KEY demographic---or so we tell Proctor and Gamble with their itchy cancellation finger.  And speaking of above episode.  Were you planning on the liberal use of pixel-blurring or is this one running on HBO?  Or both?!!! )

Vonda, Mary Jane and Viv's 'THREE GIRLS THREE" act becomes the unexpected camp hit of Sunset Boulevard bringing in the main stream crowd, much to the chagrin of Norman Bates who, along with his trench-coat wearing cronies (Bert Mustin, John Waters and Robert Wolders*) , can no longer afford nightly front row seats, so Norman slips each of the girls a coupon for a free night at the Bates Motel Cabin #1 while the girls sing "Ya Gotta Wear a Girdle": the lyrics printed here by request with apologies to Stephen Sondheim but let's see HIM come up with a (near) rhyme for "Sothern".  It helps if you know Gypsy's You Gotta Have a Gimmick song.  References come from "Lucy's Working Daughter" (Barbara Morrison), "Lucy and Arthur Godfrey"(Steamboat Bessie)  "Good-by Mrs. Hips" (Iceberg Lewis) and any episode from the third season of "That Ann Sothern Show".   Also apologies if this comes off as misogynistic or "body shaming", but this WAS the 60s (or 70s--our timeline varies) and Twiggy-like thin was IN. 

"You can pull your loose skin up.......And have Irma pin up

knots, bloody clots ‘neath your wig

But ya gotta wear a girdle.........So the crowd won’t know you’re BIG.

You can be like Ann Sothern.........Who was always hoverin’

B’hind potted vines and large plants

Ann, ya gotta wear a girdle.........If you’re wanna wear white pants.

(cut to end part of original song starting with “I’m electrifyin’....)

Strained seams make her dress pop...........Shopping at a dress shop

Barbara Morrison makes a scene

Buy a smaller girdle...........Or a larger size fourteen.

(next:  coinciding with "If ya wanna shake it...")  

If you make milk curdle  ..............Wear a skin tight girdle

Take a look how shapely we are.

She is no Jane Fonda..........So strap one on Vonda

Holding in her iceberg..........Gives MJ a nice curve

If Viv wants her dreamboat, she’ll.........Batten down her steamboat!

So get yourself a girdle and......You…..too’ll….dance at a BAR."

*A coupon for a free night at Bates Motel AND a full buffet breakfast (should you make it through the night) to anyone who gets this reference!

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Mot Morenzi    1,407
10 hours ago, Neil said:

Bert Mustin, John Waters and Robert Wolders*

*A coupon for a free night at Bates Motel AND a full buffet breakfast (should you make it through the night) to anyone who gets this reference!

Afraid I'll need this 'splained to me.

10 hours ago, Neil said:

And speaking of above episode.  Were you planning on the liberal use of pixel-blurring or is this one running on HBO?  Or both?!!!

I was imagining loads and loads of scenery censors. Strategically placed cushions and vases, etc.

Your lyrics are GENIUS! Forbidden Broadway should record them.

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Neil    1,280
16 hours ago, Mot Morenzi said:

Robert Wolders*    Afraid I'll need this 'splained to me.

In 1975, handsome Robert Wolders, age 29 married Merle Oberon, age 64 and stayed married until her death in 1979.

Next he was the companion or married to Audrey Hepburn, Leslie Caron and Henry's widow Shirley Fonda...all older but not to extent of Merle.

Robert played Mary's incredibly good-looking, but vapid ski-bum one-episode boyfriend on a "Mary Tyler Moore".   At Mary's party, Robert's character cracked some joke at  which Sue Ann laughs uproariously.  Georgette: "Isn't he funny?".  Sue Ann: "No, but WHO CARES?"

( I might be wrong about Wolders age in 1975.. He may have been 39, not 29.  On MTM he looked younger than pushing 40.  Either way he was substantially younger than Merle---who in photographs from the era looked so good it's surprising she died relatively young...for dying that is). )

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HarryCarter    965
On July 12, 2018 at 2:01 AM, Neil said:

In 1975, handsome Robert Wolders, age 29 married Merle Oberon, age 64 and stayed married until her death in 1979.

Next he was the companion or married to Audrey Hepburn, Leslie Caron and Henry's widow Shirley Fonda...all older but not to extent of Merle.

Robert played Mary's incredibly good-looking, but vapid ski-bum one-episode boyfriend on a "Mary Tyler Moore".   At Mary's party, Robert's character cracked some joke at  which Sue Ann laughs uproariously.  Georgette: "Isn't he funny?".  Sue Ann: "No, but WHO CARES?"

( I might be wrong about Wolders age in 1975.. He may have been 39, not 29.  On MTM he looked younger than pushing 40.  Either way he was substantially younger than Merle---who in photographs from the era looked so good it's surprising she died relatively young...for dying that is). )

Robert Wolders died yesterday. :o

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Neil    1,280
47 minutes ago, HarryCarter said:

Robert Wolders died yesterday. :o

WHAT???   I'm a CURSE.  I mention someone in a post and the next thing you know they die: first Tab Hunter and now Wolders!!

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HarryCarter    965
1 hour ago, Neil said:

WHAT???   I'm a CURSE.  I mention someone in a post and the next thing you know they die: first Tab Hunter and now Wolders!!

You might have to stick to people already dead for your reboot casting. 

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