HarryCarter Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Craig: What's the show about, Uncle Harry? Harry; It's about my college days. Kim: Oh, I've always wanted to do a show about the Gay Nineties! Harry: It wasn't the Gay Nineties. It was the Roaring Twenties. Gloria: And, oh, how you roared! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted March 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 We tried to get another Den Dad but we couldn't find one. You couldn't find one Den Dad to do it?! We tried every Den Dad in Danfield. We must have dialed a dozen different Den Dads. You dialed a dozen different Den Dads and none of them could do their duty?! You're darn right we did! We dialed a dozen different Den Dads and they were all disappointed that they couldn't do their duty, but all the Den Dads we thought we could depend on were all doing different duties they all delayed doing, you know, heretofore, so every time I dialed a Den Dad -- Hold it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adele Sliff Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Lucy: These are baby chicks and the heat's up so high so that they won't freeze, we're dressed like this so we won't roast, and this is all going on cuz Little Ricky left the door to the den open and would you care for some lemonade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted March 4, 2013 Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 Lucy! You, here, dressed like that. You must be out of your mind! Lucy? Is Eddie back? Ethel! You, here, dressed like that. HE must be out of his mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adele Sliff Posted March 9, 2013 Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 Fred: Now listen, Lucy, my blood pressure has better things to do than play "he loves me, he loves me not"! Lucy: Well, maybe someday, something really WILL happen to me, and then you'll be sorry! Fred: You wanna bet?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Harry, we're your own flesh and blood!...All right, I'm not, but Kim is... No, you can't bail Kim out without me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adele Sliff Posted March 19, 2013 Report Share Posted March 19, 2013 Ethel (holding up pants): What are they? Lucy: They're hostess pants. You wear them when you give smart dinner parties. Ethel: Oh, I was wondering what to wear to all those smart dinner parties I give. Lucy: Well, I saw them last month in Harper's Bazaar. Ethel: Well, they're certainly bizarre! Lucy: Well, now wait a minute Ethel, look. You get yourself a little black, off the shoulder blouse, and a big crushy belt and little ballet slippers and you're all set. Ethel: What for, Halloween?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted March 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 You wear the pants in this family! Oh, yeah? What do you call those thins you're wearing? ... Pedal pushers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 Ricky: Well I don't feel like eating steak tonoght. I wan't to eat spaghetti tonight, so we're going to eat spaghetti. Lucy: Yes sir. Ricky: And the next time I tell a story, you stay out of it. Lucy: Yes sir. Ricky: And be on time next time or we're going to leave without you. Lucy: Yes sir. Ricky: From now on we're going to run this house the way they do in Cuba, where the man is the master of the house & the woman does as she's told. Lucy: Si Senor. Ricky. Don't get smart. And go & get your coat. Lucy: (goes off, come backs with coat, pauses, & then): Oh YEAH?!?! Ethel: Atta girl, Lucy, I was wondering what happened to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adele Sliff Posted March 30, 2013 Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 Ricky: Please, Mr. Burglar, take our money, take our jewels, but don't take my wife's mink coat. It's worth $3500! Burglar: Hand over that coat, or I'll shoot! Lucy: WAIT A MINUTE!! (pulls coat up to her neck) Okay, go ahead and shoot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted April 8, 2013 Report Share Posted April 8, 2013 Ben is my cousin on my money's side.... MOTHER's side. You were right the first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted April 12, 2013 Report Share Posted April 12, 2013 Ethel: (bursting into Lucy's apartment) Lucy! Lucy! Lucy, she's here! She's here! Lucy: Who's here? Ethel: Ricky's mother. I just saw her gettin' out of the cab. Lucy: How do you know it's Ricky's mother? Ethel: She tried to pay the cab driver in pesos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted April 25, 2013 Report Share Posted April 25, 2013 I wonder where Mother and Little Ricky are. Maybe your mother took the baby to the park. They wouldn't stay in the park four hours. Oh, I don't know. Your mother in the park with all those squirrels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted April 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2013 Nicky: Who is in it? Tacy: Well, it stars the actor who is married...to that beautiful girl who likes squirrels...? Nicky: Michael Wilding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 What are you doing? Cracking nuts. Where did you get them? From that squirrel's deep freeze. Let me have some. No, get your own. ... !!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! Why didn't you tell me the squirrel was still in there? You didn't ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2013 It sounds like some sort of a nut festival! Come on, Harry! Now, do I seem like the sort of person that would go to a nut festival? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted May 14, 2013 Report Share Posted May 14, 2013 Ricky: What is this? Lucy: It's my mad money. Ricky: There's $200 here. Lucy: I get awfully mad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 22, 2013 Report Share Posted May 22, 2013 Dr. Kurtzman: Up. Lucy: Down. Doctor: Hot. Lucy: Cold. Doctor: Money. Lucy: Wolf. Doctor: Wolf. Lucy: Money. Doctor: Money? Wolf? Lucy: Yeah, Clifford Wolf at the bank. He's the one who calls me every month to tell me I'm overdrawn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivfantoo* Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 Lucy: Money found in over stuffed chairs and sofa cushions: $9.73. Money from sugar bowls: $29.25. Piggy banks: $28.16. GTHP: $15.36. Ethel: What's GTHP? Lucy: Going through husband's pants. Ethel: Oh yeah. Lucy: Didn't you go through Fred's pants? Ethel: Every pair including his World War I calvary britches. Lucy: What did you get? Ethel: A handful of lint and a Woodrow Wilson button. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 Lucy: I even opened the baby's piggy bank. Ethel: What did you find? Lucy: Three I.O.Us from Ricky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chedderchester Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 tomorrow we'll get 2 papers and it'll all come out even *runs in* have you seen the morning paper?! Only as it flew by I have seen the morning paper but Ricky hasn't! Uh . . . well I just dropped in to say I can't stay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted May 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2013 Carolyn: Don't tell me that Little Ricky has ever said, "Morning, Mommy." Lucy: In English or Spanish?! Carolyn: Little Ricky speaks Spanish?! Lucy: Only when he's mad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted June 12, 2013 Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 Ricardo residence. This is the maid speaking... Mr. Ricardo? Yes, he's here, but he doesn't speak any English. You don't speak Spanish do you?... Oh, you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted June 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2013 *buzz* Ricky: What was that -- the back door? Lucy: No, that was the buzzer. Ricky: Oh... What buzzer? Lucy: The buzzer under the TABLE. That we always use to call the butler and the maid...? Ricky: Ohhh, that buzzer! ... What maid? Lucy: ETHEL MAE! Ricky: Oh! Oh, THAT maid! ... I'm terrible at remembering names. Tallulah: Oh, so am I. That's why I call everybody 'dahhling!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 I don't know what I'll do with you gone for two whole months. At least the kitchen door and your tongue get a little rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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