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The Newer, More Improved SOCK IT TO ME Thread


Brock

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:lucy2: We tried to get another Den Dad but we couldn't find one.

:gale1: You couldn't find one Den Dad to do it?!

:viv2: We tried every Den Dad in Danfield.

:lucy2: We must have dialed a dozen different Den Dads.

:gale1: You dialed a dozen different Den Dads and none of them could do their duty?!

:lucy2: You're darn right we did! We dialed a dozen different Den Dads and they were all disappointed that they couldn't do their duty, but all the Den Dads we thought we could depend on were all doing different duties they all delayed doing, you know, heretofore, so every time I dialed a Den Dad --

:gale1: Hold it!

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Ethel (holding up pants): What are they?

Lucy: They're hostess pants. You wear them when you give smart dinner parties.

Ethel: Oh, I was wondering what to wear to all those smart dinner parties I give.

Lucy: Well, I saw them last month in Harper's Bazaar.

Ethel: Well, they're certainly bizarre!

Lucy: Well, now wait a minute Ethel, look. You get yourself a little black, off the shoulder blouse, and a big crushy belt and little ballet slippers and you're all set.

Ethel: What for, Halloween?!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ricky: Well I don't feel like eating steak tonoght. I wan't to eat spaghetti tonight, so we're going to eat spaghetti.

 

Lucy: Yes sir.

 

Ricky: And the next time I tell a story, you stay out of it.

 

Lucy: Yes sir.

 

Ricky: And be on time next time or we're going to leave without you.

 

Lucy: Yes sir.

 

Ricky: From now on we're going to run this house the way they do in Cuba, where the man is the master of the house & the woman does as she's told.

 

Lucy: Si Senor.

 

Ricky. Don't get smart. And go & get your coat.

 

Lucy: (goes off, come backs with coat, pauses, & then): Oh YEAH?!?!

 

Ethel: Atta girl, Lucy, I was wondering what happened to you!

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Lucy: Money found in over stuffed chairs and sofa cushions: $9.73. Money from sugar bowls: $29.25. Piggy banks: $28.16. GTHP: $15.36.

 

Ethel: What's GTHP?

 

Lucy: Going through husband's pants.

 

Ethel: Oh yeah.

 

Lucy: Didn't you go through Fred's pants?

 

Ethel: Every pair including his World War I calvary britches.

 

Lucy: What did you get?

 

Ethel: A handful of lint and a Woodrow Wilson button.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

*buzz*

Ricky: What was that -- the back door?

Lucy: No, that was the buzzer.

Ricky: Oh... What buzzer?

Lucy: The buzzer under the TABLE. That we always use to call the butler and the maid...?

Ricky: Ohhh, that buzzer! ... What maid?

Lucy: ETHEL MAE!

Ricky: Oh! Oh, THAT maid! ... I'm terrible at remembering names.

Tallulah: Oh, so am I. That's why I call everybody 'dahhling!' :D

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