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Brock

The Newer, More Improved SOCK IT TO ME Thread

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Craig: What's the show about, Uncle Harry?

Harry; It's about my college days.

Kim: Oh, I've always wanted to do a show about the Gay Nineties!

Harry: It wasn't the Gay Nineties. It was the Roaring Twenties. :D

Gloria: And, oh, how you roared!

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:lucy2: We tried to get another Den Dad but we couldn't find one.

:gale1: You couldn't find one Den Dad to do it?!

:viv2: We tried every Den Dad in Danfield.

:lucy2: We must have dialed a dozen different Den Dads.

:gale1: You dialed a dozen different Den Dads and none of them could do their duty?!

:lucy2: You're darn right we did! We dialed a dozen different Den Dads and they were all disappointed that they couldn't do their duty, but all the Den Dads we thought we could depend on were all doing different duties they all delayed doing, you know, heretofore, so every time I dialed a Den Dad --

:gale1: Hold it!

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Lucy: These are baby chicks and the heat's up so high so that they won't freeze, we're dressed like this so we won't roast, and this is all going on cuz Little Ricky left the door to the den open and would you care for some lemonade.

 

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:desi1: Lucy! You, here, dressed like that. You must be out of your mind!

 

:viv1: Lucy? Is Eddie back?

 

:bill1: Ethel! You, here, dressed like that. HE must be out of his mind!

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Fred: Now listen, Lucy, my blood pressure has better things to do than play "he loves me, he loves me not"!

Lucy: Well, maybe someday, something really WILL happen to me, and then you'll be sorry!

Fred: You wanna bet?!

 

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Ethel (holding up pants): What are they?

Lucy: They're hostess pants. You wear them when you give smart dinner parties.

Ethel: Oh, I was wondering what to wear to all those smart dinner parties I give.

Lucy: Well, I saw them last month in Harper's Bazaar.

Ethel: Well, they're certainly bizarre!

Lucy: Well, now wait a minute Ethel, look. You get yourself a little black, off the shoulder blouse, and a big crushy belt and little ballet slippers and you're all set.

Ethel: What for, Halloween?!

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Ricky: Well I don't feel like eating steak tonoght. I wan't to eat spaghetti tonight, so we're going to eat spaghetti.

 

Lucy: Yes sir.

 

Ricky: And the next time I tell a story, you stay out of it.

 

Lucy: Yes sir.

 

Ricky: And be on time next time or we're going to leave without you.

 

Lucy: Yes sir.

 

Ricky: From now on we're going to run this house the way they do in Cuba, where the man is the master of the house & the woman does as she's told.

 

Lucy: Si Senor.

 

Ricky. Don't get smart. And go & get your coat.

 

Lucy: (goes off, come backs with coat, pauses, & then): Oh YEAH?!?!

 

Ethel: Atta girl, Lucy, I was wondering what happened to you!

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Ricky: Please, Mr. Burglar, take our money, take our jewels, but don't take my wife's mink coat. It's worth $3500!

Burglar: Hand over that coat, or I'll shoot!

Lucy: WAIT A MINUTE!! (pulls coat up to her neck) Okay, go ahead and shoot!

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Ethel: (bursting into Lucy's apartment) Lucy! Lucy! Lucy, she's here! She's here!

 

Lucy: Who's here?

 

Ethel: Ricky's mother. I just saw her gettin' out of the cab.

 

Lucy: How do you know it's Ricky's mother?

 

Ethel: She tried to pay the cab driver in pesos.

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:lucy1: I wonder where Mother and Little Ricky are.

:desi1: Maybe your mother took the baby to the park.

:lucy1: They wouldn't stay in the park four hours.

:desi1: Oh, I don't know. Your mother in the park with all those squirrels...

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Nicky: Who is in it?

Tacy: Well, it stars the actor who is married...to that beautiful girl who likes squirrels...?

Nicky: Michael Wilding.

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:gale1: What are you doing?

:lucy2: Cracking nuts.

:gale1: Where did you get them?

:lucy2: From that squirrel's deep freeze.

:gale1: Let me have some.

:lucy2: No, get your own.

:gale1:... :obrien: !!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! Why didn't you tell me the squirrel was still in there?

:lucy2: You didn't ask me.

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:gale2: It sounds like some sort of a nut festival! :MrsRichardCarlson:

:maryjane2: Come on, Harry! Now, do I seem like the sort of person that would go to a nut festival? :D

:gale2:<_<

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Dr. Kurtzman: Up.

Lucy: Down.

Doctor: Hot.

Lucy: Cold.

Doctor: Money.

Lucy: Wolf.

Doctor: Wolf.

Lucy: Money.

Doctor: Money? Wolf?

Lucy: Yeah, Clifford Wolf at the bank. He's the one who calls me every month to tell me I'm overdrawn.

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Lucy: Money found in over stuffed chairs and sofa cushions: $9.73. Money from sugar bowls: $29.25. Piggy banks: $28.16. GTHP: $15.36.

 

Ethel: What's GTHP?

 

Lucy: Going through husband's pants.

 

Ethel: Oh yeah.

 

Lucy: Didn't you go through Fred's pants?

 

Ethel: Every pair including his World War I calvary britches.

 

Lucy: What did you get?

 

Ethel: A handful of lint and a Woodrow Wilson button.

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:lucyhehe: tomorrow we'll get 2 papers and it'll all come out even

:viv1: *runs in* have you seen the morning paper?!

:lucyeww:<_<

:desi1: Only as it flew by

:lucy1: I have seen the morning paper but Ricky hasn't! :angry:

:viv1: Uh . . . well I just dropped in to say I can't stay!

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Carolyn: Don't tell me that Little Ricky has ever said, "Morning, Mommy." :P

Lucy: In English or Spanish?! <_<

Carolyn: Little Ricky speaks Spanish?! :huh:

Lucy: Only when he's mad! :angry:

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:lucy1: Ricardo residence. This is the maid speaking... Mr. Ricardo? Yes, he's here, but he doesn't speak any English. You don't speak Spanish do you?... Oh, you do? :lucymeh:

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*buzz*

Ricky: What was that -- the back door?

Lucy: No, that was the buzzer.

Ricky: Oh... What buzzer?

Lucy: The buzzer under the TABLE. That we always use to call the butler and the maid...?

Ricky: Ohhh, that buzzer! ... What maid?

Lucy: ETHEL MAE!

Ricky: Oh! Oh, THAT maid! ... I'm terrible at remembering names.

Tallulah: Oh, so am I. That's why I call everybody 'dahhling!' :D

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