Lucy Plots in Other Shows and Vice Versa

[Brock]

"Blanche's Electric Vibrator" Blanche tries out her new sex toy right after Rose has over-waxed the floors and vibrates half-way to New Rochelle.

 

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Brock]

A few variations on a theme by Mary Tyler Moore:

 

Mary Jane Whips Inflation -- After a racy trip with her boss up the coast (Harry was right), Mary Jane finds herself out of a job and the only work she can find is reading books to the blind.

 

Menage-A-Danfield -- Lucy and Viv decide to share John Brooks III in every way imaginable.

 

I Was A Single For Carter's -- After Harry makes a grandiose commitment to find staff for a new bar owner in Town, Lucy, Harry, Kim, and Mary Jane find themselves working the table at Los Angeles' newest singles bar.

 

Divorce IS Everything -- Viv convinces Lucy to join the Danfield Chapter of the Better Luck Next Time Club, only to find out their president, secretary, treasurer, and entire membership roster is Ralph Bagley.

 

Support Your Local Mother -- Jerry and Sherman take on the job as campaign managers when Lucy and Viv face off against each other for president of the PTA.

 

Danny Galuppi Is My Favourite Artist -- Lucy's nude painting becomes a sensation after it is spotted in the background of an interior design magazine.

 

Mary Jane Takes Harry Home -- When Vernon, the thug who held Lucy and Mannix hostage, is paroled for good behaviour, he goes back to Carter's unique Employment Agency to finish the job. With Lucy out on a coffee break, Vernon locks Harry and Mary Jane BOTH in the closet and romance ensues... as Lucy has actually gone to the beach for the weekend.

 

Tommy Tucker Bites The Dust -- After Toy Tycoon Tommy Tucker dies in an unfortunate slide/kiddie pool accident, Lucy and Harry are informed he has left them both his sizable fortune. Guest Star: Marlon Brando as Mr. Tucker's executor.

 

Lucy's Three Husbands -- Harry Carter, Walter Butley, and Lester Bupkis fantasize about what it would be like to be married to Lucy.

 

Support Your Local Mother -- Harry and Mary Jane's closet tryst leads to an unwanted pregnancy. With Harry no help whatsoever, Mary Jane finds support from the gals in the Marymount Mother of the Month club. Harry eventually comes through in the end.

 

Marriage, Los Angeles Style -- Mary Jane and Harry's wedding plans are thrown into disarray when she's awarded the Marymount Mother of the Month Trophy and runs off with the celebrity presenter -- Howard Cosell.

[Brock]

Quigley, You Is My Daughter Now -- Lucy rents Kim's old bedroom to a karate-chopping secretary with a retentive memory. Special Guest Star: Susan Tolsky.

[Neil]

"Hazel, the Bad Skate"

 

In her attempt to fit in with Harold's crowd, Hazel gets his skates stuck on and has no choice but to serve "meals on wheels" for an important business dinner with George's boss that very night. When both Hazel and the boss end up in the fish pond, he is so furious he spits out a goldfish and banishes George to the law firm's branch in a middle east hell hole (necessitating a format change for"Hazel's) season 5 on CBS).

Production note: The proposed spin-off "George and the Shah", based on the books "Anna and the King" and "Life Without Hazel" with George in Iran covering up the atrocities of the bungling despot (played by Hans Conreid) and Whitney Blake sequestered in the wives' harem, did not get picked up. It was retooled with an African locale and called "George of the Jungle" co-starring Janos Prohaska but the network passed on that, too leaving Prohaska free to guest on every third episode of "The Lucy Show".

 

I don't mean to pick on poor Shirley Booth, because it's hard to imagine ANYONE attempting something like Lucy's roller skating finale in "Good Skate" much less pulling it off with such grace. She makes it look so easy, but think about the precision choreography (on skates yet!) that she has to maneuver to, among other stunts, hit that pole at exactly the right moment, swing around and repeatedly knock over the waiter's tray. No one else NO ONE could do this. And with three days rehearsal and that includes the rest of the show (AND running Desilu).

This is a great example of Lucy taking thin material and transforming it into magic, because the country club scene in the script doesn't give her much to work with. It was the first non-Bob & Madelyn show and the first by Garry Marshall (with Dick Van Dyke writing partner Jerry Belson). In his bio, Marshall dismisses the Lucy scripts with something like "all you had to do is dream up some physical stunt and the rest was easy". But I think this exemplifies the problem with most of the post B-M (no Ducolax reference, PLEASE!) scripts as they were written lazily. Most of the Marshall-Belson scripts written for the 3rd and 4th were fair, but not great. I don't remember all of them but they were responsible for a few clinkers in there.

[Neil]

Quigley, You Is My Daughter Now -- Lucy rents Kim's old bedroom to a karate-chopping secretary with a retentive memory. Special Guest Star: Susan Tolsky.

 

Oh, leave it to Jacques...I mean Brock. These are all so great and what a concept. Lucy doing Mary Tyler Moore Show plots.

BUT the theme song lyrics would have to change:

 

"Who makes Harry Carter’s life a wreck?

So much so that once a month,

He writes Dr. Cunningham a blank check.

Well it’s you girl and you’re the limit.

With Mary Jane, Vonda and Craig and Kim, it

drives him nuts when you come in late and foggy,

Then by noon he’s drenched and his crotch is soggy.

You’re gonna break him after all!"

 

And I know what you're all thinking....Yes, we have WAY too much time on our hands! Our bosses think we're actually doing work at our desks.

[C L A U D E]

Oh, leave it to Jacques...I mean Brock. These are all so great and what a concept. Lucy doing Mary Tyler Moore Show plots.

BUT the theme song lyrics would have to change:

 

"Who makes Harry Carter’s life a wreck?

So much so that once a month,

He writes Dr. Cunningham a blank check.

Well it’s you girl and you’re the limit.

With Mary Jane, Vonda and Craig and Kim, it

drives him nuts when you come in late and foggy,

Then by noon he’s drenched and his crotch is soggy.

You’re gonna break him after all!"

 

And I know what you're all thinking....Yes, we have WAY too much time on our hands! Our bosses think we're actually doing work at our desks.

Well, yes, i admit i did think that, BUT, it was well worth it, you guys are genius when it comes to these things. Whatever you do, dun't stop!

[Brock]

"Hazel, the Bad Skate"

 

In her attempt to fit in with Harold's crowd, Hazel gets his skates stuck on has no choice but to serve "meals on wheels" for an important business dinner with George's boss that very night. When both Hazel and the boss end up in the fish pond, he is so furious he spits out a goldfish and banishes George to the law firm's branch in a middle east hell hole (necessitating a format change for"Hazel's) season 5 on CBS).

Production note: The proposed spin-off "George and the Shah", based on the books "Anna and the King" and "Life Without Hazel" with George in Iran covering up the atrocities of the bungling despot (played by Hans Conreid) and Whitney Blake sequestered in the wives' harem, did not get picked up. It was retooled with an African locale and called "George of the Jungle" co-starring Janos Prohaska but the network passed on that, too leaving Prohaska free to guest on every third episode of "The Lucy Show".

 

This, and your HL/MTM lyrics, are hilarious in every single way!

[Brock]

Variations on a theme by The Golden Girls:

 

A Little Romance -- Ma Parker's "daughter" develops a revolting crush on Kim.

 

In A Bed of Lucy's -- Lucy is caught up in a controversy when studio executives return to 4863 Valley Lawn Drive and discover their star, Chuck Connors, in bed with Lucy... dead.

 

The Living End of the Curse -- Lucy, Mary Jane, and Vanda all hit menopause at the same time, making life miserable for everyone in their office building. Guest Stars: Dan Dailey, Sid Gould

 

It's A Miserable Wife -- After marrying Spike, Ginger Rogers comes to Carter's Unique Employment Agency to hire a new assistant/wig walker.

 

The Stan Who Came To Dinner -- When director Stanley Kramer comes to the Westland Bank to get a loan for his new picture, Lucy wines and dines him to be cast as Hilary in Guess Who's Coming To Dinner? Guest Stars: Katharine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, Stanley Kramer.

 

The Actor -- With the part in hand, Lucy tries to romance Sidney Poitier who is between marriages. When daughter Chris comes home from college with her snotty, WASPy, country club member boyfriend, both are horrified at Lucy's plans.

 

To Catch A Neighbour -- When Mary Jane decides to cash in her retirement fund and go on a six-month cruise, Lucy is delighted to learn she has sublet her apartment to a groovy young musician named Charlie Manson and his entourage. Her attempts to get him on Wingding don't go quite as planned.

 

Letter to Brezhnev -- In order to drum up publicity for the bank, Lucy Carmichael takes it upon herself to open a high-interest chequing account for Leonid Brezhnev.

 

Wham, Bam, Thank You Mamie -- Harry's latest get rich quick scheme is to volunteer his boy toy services to the Widow Eisenhower

 

The Inaccurate Conception -- Fired by Mr. Mooney, Lucy gets an adminstrative position at Los Angeles' first sperm bank.

 

Mary Jane Has A Little Lamb -- With sperm not flying off the shelf like hot cakes, Lucy talks Mary Jane into availing herself of their services.

 

Love Under The Big Top -- Craig falls in love with his sexy new English teacher. Guest Star: Racquel Welch.

 

Henny Backus - Straight, No Chaser -- CBS buys the Westland Bank and in their first act of business they decide to use the place for PR and think it would be a great idea to have Jim Backus as Thurston Howell III as their new spokesperson. When a confidence trickster bearing a striking resemblance to Natalie Schafer comes in claiming to be Jim's wife demanding his life savings, Lucy asks no questions as she remembers seeing them together recently. Guest stars: Jim & Henny Backus, Natalie Schafer

[Neil]

This, and your HL/MTM lyrics, are hilarious in every single way!

 

The HL lyrics, by the way, were not mine. A friend left them as a message on my machine and I've never erased it. They were so perfect. We write lyrics back and forth for sitcom theme---IN MY SPARE TIME, Claude. He wrote lyrics to this, My Little Margie, and The Eve Arden Show. I wrote Mothers In Law, The Gale Storm Show and Family Affair.

 

At the end of "Hazel"'s 4th season, George Baxter and wife really did get transferred to the 'middle east', a favorite place to send regulars who are fired. For a reason I don't think they divulged, the Baxters were not allowed to take their son Harold along,so child-actor Bobby Buntrock stayed on for the next season. I would guess that either a) he would have had to have been quaranteed for 6 months like a dog; or Jerry Carmichael go the last spot in the military academy. In either case, I'm sure in one of prepared script outlines for "George and the Shah", Dorothy Baxter gets a letter from "my son Bobby".

 

I'm not familiar with individual Golden Girls episodes or their titles but will run these past a friend who is and he can explain to me why they're brilliant. They're great even without knowing the references.

[Neil]

Variations on a theme by The Golden Girls:

 

 

 

It's A Miserable Wife -- After marrying Spike, Ginger Rogers comes to Carter's Unique Employment Agency to hire a new assistant/wig walker.

 

 

 

Even without knowing the Golden Girls reference, this one is hilarious. Might I suggest R.G. Brown as a guest star?

[C L A U D E]

The HL lyrics, by the way, were not mine. A friend left them as a message on my machine and I've never erased it. They were so perfect. We write lyrics back and forth for sitcom theme---IN MY SPARE TIME, Claude. He wrote lyrics to this, My Little Margie, and The Eve Arden Show. I wrote Mothers In Law, The Gale Storm Show and Family Affair.

 

At the end of "Hazel"'s 4th season, George Baxter and wife really did get transferred to the 'middle east', a favorite place to send regulars who are fired. For a reason I don't think they divulged, the Baxters were not allowed to take their son Harold along,so child-actor Bobby Buntrock stayed on for the next season. I would guess that either a) he would have had to have been quaranteed for 6 months like a dog; or Jerry Carmichael go the last spot in the military academy. In either case, I'm sure in one of prepared script outlines for "George and the Shah", Dorothy Baxter gets a letter from "my son Bobby".

 

I'm not familiar with individual Golden Girls episodes or their titles but will run these past a friend who is and he can explain to me why they're brilliant. They're great even without knowing the references.

But you do have LOTS of spare time then huh? LOL! As i go through all my Lucy stuff i played the discs you sent me of the various soundtracks, HL, TLS and especially Mame and Wildcat, thanks so much again for those fantastic discs, why didn't you offer them up for a new Lucy boxed set? EVERYBODY would enjoy them.

[JoeySanJoaquin]

Brock writes: "Jonathan Moves Out" -- Angela Bower drives her son out of the house after thinking he was out all night with a writer. With a BEARD, yet!

 

What show is this from? Is the son (Jonathan) gay? Or did he date masculine women (guest star: Nancy McKeon?)?

Who's the Boss, with Tony Danza, Judith Light and her son played by Danny Pintauro, who's gay and came out after the show ended it's run.

[C L A U D E]

Who's the Boss, with Tony Danza, Judith Light and her son played by Danny Pintauro, who's gay and came out after the show ended it's run.

Now that we know what a homophobe tony danza was, i hope he did not mistreat Danny in any way.

[Neil]

I thought I was done, but I guess not!

 

"Roseanne Misplaces $2000" but finds one of the bills in an unlikely place when she takes Mariel Hemingway for a ride on the Tunnel of Love. Barnsdahl: Sandra Bernhard

 

"Darlene's New Years Eve Party" is saved when Roseanne and Jackie enthrall the teenagers with their Laurel and Hardy silent movie routine. Eddie: Tom Arnold.

 

"Rose's College Reunion" Rose participates in the traditional stealing of the statue of St. Olaf but can't remember where she hid it. Dean Bennett: Alan Oppenheimer

 

"Archie Puts Hauser Street on the Map" When minorities threaten to move into the neighborhood, Archie stages a patriotic production number (sans John Bubbles) to publicize his petition to put a stop to it.

 

"My Fair Edith" To impress investors in her Charm School, the visiting Countess transforms Edith from a Queens housewife to a Broadway belting chanteuse. Song: "Losing My Mind"

 

"Samantha and Wayne Newton" When Tabitha wants her afternoon fig bar snack, Aunt Clara conjures up the wrong Newton.

 

"Lucy Barker Visits the White House" When Lucy and the kids need money to build a jelly-bean replica of the white house, she dips into her trust fund at Neil Bush's Silverado Savings and Loan triggering an industry-wide meltdown. Voice of President Reagan: Elliot Reid.

[Brock]

Those are a riot!

 

 

"My Fair Edith" To impress investors in her Charm School, the visiting Countess transforms Edith from a Queens housewife to a Broadway belting chanteuse. Song: "Losing My Mind"

 

"Samantha and Wayne Newton" When Tabitha wants her afternoon fig bar snack, Aunt Clara conjures up the wrong Newton.

 

"Lucy Barker Visits the White House" When Lucy and the kids need money to build a jelly-bean replica of the white house, she dips into her trust fund at Neil Bush's Silverado Savings and Loan triggering an industry-wide meltdown. Voice of President Reagan: Elliot Reid.

 

These are particularly HYSTERICAL!

[C L A U D E]

I thought I was done, but I guess not!

 

"Roseanne Misplaces $2000" but finds one of the bills in an unlikely place when she takes Mariel Hemingway for a ride on the Tunnel of Love. Barnsdahl: Sandra Bernhard

 

"Darlene's New Years Eve Party" is saved when Roseanne and Jackie enthrall the teenagers with their Laurel and Hardy silent movie routine. Eddie: Tom Arnold.

 

"Rose's College Reunion" Rose participates in the traditional stealing of the statue of St. Olaf but can't remember where she hid it. Dean Bennett: Alan Oppenheimer

 

"Archie Puts Hauser Street on the Map" When minorities threaten to move into the neighborhood, Archie stages a patriotic production number (sans John Bubbles) to publicize his petition to put a stop to it.

 

"My Fair Edith" To impress investors in her Charm School, the visiting Countess transforms Edith from a Queens housewife to a Broadway belting chanteuse. Song: "Losing My Mind"

 

"Samantha and Wayne Newton" When Tabitha wants her afternoon fig bar snack, Aunt Clara conjures up the wrong Newton.

 

"Lucy Barker Visits the White House" When Lucy and the kids need money to build a jelly-bean replica of the white house, she dips into her trust fund at Neil Bush's Silverado Savings and Loan triggering an industry-wide meltdown. Voice of President Reagan: Elliot Reid.

OMG these thins just keep getting funnier and funnier, kudos for these Neil.

[Neil]

OMG these thins just keep getting funnier and funnier, kudos for these Neil.

 

"Archie Puts Hauser Street on the Map--part 2"

Archie becomes a colored person himself when he flushes red with embarrassment after discovering the 'minority' he's petitioning to ban from the neighborhood is John Boehner fresh from an over-long session at Queens Tanning Salon. (Slogan: "We give you color....just not too much")

[Brock]

"Archie Puts Hauser Street on the Map--part 2"

Archie becomes a colored person himself when he flushes red with embarrassment after discovering the 'minority' he's petitioning to ban from the neighborhood is John Boehner fresh from an over-long session at Queens Tanning Salon. (Slogan: "We give you color....just not too much")

 

THAT is a riot! :marionstrong:

[C L A U D E]

THAT is a riot! :marionstrong:

I know, why the hell wasn't this guy writing for Lucy? Gary did not like him i suppose, he wouldn't pay the bribe to get in the writer's lounge at Desilu?

[Brock]

Brooklyn Heights Bound -- Natalie Lane's Cousin Ernie comes to visit and a romance blossoms between he and Patty. When Martin sneaks downstairs for a midnight snack, he finds Ernie doing unnatural things with one of Patty's favourite hot dogs he blackmails him into taking his daughter off his hands. Unfortunately, he proposes to Cathy and she can't stand the sight of him!

 

Where Is My Wandering Father Tonight? -- When Mr. Livingston gets out of prison for being a mob hitman, he finds his wife working for Eddie Corbett and his father. Assuming Tom and Mrs. Livingston are more than just friends, he invites Tom out for a drink and has him whacked.

[Neil]

Brooklyn Heights Bound -- Natalie Lane's Cousin Ernie comes to visit and a romance blossoms between he and Patty. When Martin sneaks downstairs for a midnight snack, he finds Ernie doing unnatural things with one of Patty's favourite hot dogs he blackmails him into taking his daughter off his hands. Unfortunately, he proposes to Cathy and she can't stand the sight of him!

 

Where Is My Wandering Father Tonight? -- When Mr. Livingston gets out of prison for being a mob hitman, he finds his wife working for Eddie Corbett and his father. Assuming Tom and Mrs. Livingston are more than just friends, he invites Tom out for a drink and has him whacked.

 

Somehow I missed these. Love the Patty Duke plot! So Ernie's hot dog makes Patty lose control?

I don't know what series the second episode is from.

 

Here's an I Love Lucy that didn't make it past the censors:

 

"I Didn't Know I Was Enciente!" or "Canoe Canoodling" (take your pick!)

Ethel ignores Fred's cracks about her expanding waistline and attributes her morning sickness to waking up next the old goat. But when she starts lactating around "the baby", she suddenly recalls the one night in the Mertz's sagging bed when Fred's nightshirt buttons failed to hold him up and facing the other way.

 

(I've only heard of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Never seen it listed, so don't know if that's the exact title.)

[Brock]

she suddenly recalls the one night in the Mertz's sagging bed when Fred's nightshirt buttons failed to hold him up and facing the other way.

 

 

 

:marionstrong:

 

 

I don't know what series the second episode is from.

 

 

 

The Courtship of Eddie's Father.

[Neil]

:marionstrong:

 

 

 

The Courtship of Eddie's Father.

 

I barely remember "Courtship" so how could YOU have seen any episodes of this? It was one of those late 60s-early 70s ABC laughless, heart-warming 'comedies' that made my stomach turn. And ran a couple of years mainly, I venture, because they had nothing else in the hopper.

So Mrs. Livingston was the Japanese housekeeper? (Cousin to Jan Murray's gardener, perhaps)?

What was the actual explanation of Mr. Livingston's whereabouts on the show?

I liked some of Nillson's work, but found this theme song particularly annoying, almost as much as "Nanny and the Professor".

 

I just got notice that my season 4 has shipped!!

[C L A U D E]

I barely remember "Courtship" so how could YOU have seen any episodes of this? It was one of those late 60s-early 70s ABC laughless, heart-warming 'comedies' that made my stomach turn. And ran a couple of years mainly, I venture, because they had nothing else in the hopper.

So Mrs. Livingston was the Japanese housekeeper? (Cousin to Jan Murray's gardener, perhaps)?

What was the actual explanation of Mr. Livingston's whereabouts on the show?

I liked some of Nillson's work, but found this theme song particularly annoying, almost as much as "Nanny and the Professor".

 

I just got notice that my season 4 has shipped!!

Really? It was sweet but not sickeningly sweet a la Family Affair. I always got a kick out of it, being gay, and seeing that great father son relationship that i so longed for in my own life. Sorry, but i loved the song too and never missed that show, so obviously you must be right that there was nothing good on opposite the show. Nanny and the Professor, now that one i do not remember anything at all about. Except that Juliet Mills was Hayley's sister in real life.

[Neil]

Really? It was sweet but not sickeningly sweet a la Family Affair. Nanny and the Professor, now that one i do not remember anything at all about. Except that Juliet Mills was Hayley's sister in real life.

 

I'm not being fair I guess because I don't ever remember seeing an episode of "Courtship". Or "Nanny" for that matter. Maybe I'm just remembering the promos. "Nanny" had some sort of magical powers, I think and her name was "Phoebe Figgalilly" as the theme song said "It's a silly name".