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lucyfan101

Funny Ethel Lines

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"Why'd you bring us to this picturesque dump?"

 

"Hey Lucy, the chickens are talking about Fred - they're saying cheep, cheep, cheep."

 

"Don't forget to drop a postcard to Mr. and Mrs. Fred Horninsky or as we are more commonly known, the "Tagalong Mertzes."

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"ARE YA WET?!"

 

"And if you say one more word to me, Fred Mertz, I'm going to take YOU apart and put YOU back together again!!"

 

"HE KILLED HER AND TRIED TO HIDE HER BODY UNDER THE COUCH!!!"

 

"Can you come up here average housewife who I picked at random from our audience? Yes. Yes, you dear."

 

Lucy: Well, you can't do the closing number.

Ethel: Why not?

Lucy: Because I'm doing it.

Ethel: Who says you get to do it?

Lucy: I'm the president!

Ethel: Well, I'm the CO-president.

Lucy: Well, I'm the chairman!

Ethel: I'M THE ONE WHO KNOWS HOW YOU GOT TO BE CHAIRMAN!

 

"We raise chickens."

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Lucy: Ethel, give her the money.

Ethel: Give her the money?

Lucy: Give her the money.

Ethel: Is she going with us?

 

 

:hlLOL: !!!!!!!

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Lucy: A lot you know. My hair is naturally red. Isn't it, Ethel?

Ethel: Uh, look, Lucy. Let's not add perjury to our other charges.

 

Lucy: Are you accusin me of cheatin?

Ethel: Yep, I'm accusin you of cheatin.

 

"You just put the meat on the griddle and when your face gets redder than the hamburger, it's done!"

 

"There's one skillet out there that hasn't been cold for a week."

 

"Be sure to wear your glasses so YOU CAN SEE AS GOOD AS CAROLYN CAN."

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Love the lines you all have posted! :marionstrong:

 

"I have sufficient".

 

To Lucy: "How can you stand there at a time like this and utter those four awful words, 'I've got an idea?!?!'"

 

Ethel: "And then what happens?"

Lucy: (gives her the evil eye)

Ethel: "Uhhh -- and THEN what happens will AMAZE you!"

 

Said to Fred (during an episode that mentioned German in preparation for their European trip):

"Oh, shutten zee up!"

 

From the Lily of the Valley song: " ... on my arm is just my elbow ..."

 

Lucy: "You thought it was a good idea before!"

Ethel: "Well it stinks now!"

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Ethel: "And then what happens?"

Lucy: (gives her the evil eye)

Ethel: "Uhhh -- and THEN what happens will AMAZE you!"

 

 

 

:marionstrong: !!!!! One of my all-time favourites.

 

Lucy: Oh, yes. And I did mention Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando. Did you see On The Waterfront? Wondaful. He won the Academy Award, you know.

Ethel: :mellow:

 

(to Ricky, panicking) DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE NEW CAKE I'M MAKING?! :obrien: !!!!

 

Ethel: If you're not around to be his mother then I'm going to be a mother! :D

Fred: :obrien: ETHEL!!! DID YOU SAY YOU WERE GOING TO BE A MOTHER?! :obrien:

Ethel: Oh. SHUT. UP! :angry:

 

"I should have known you were from Albuquerque. You're so WARM and FRIENDLY!"

 

"And THEN the Old Prune said, 'Either the Ricardos leave this apartment or I do!' Isn't that awful? Then I said, 'Don't worry Lucy. We can rent that apartment JUST. LIKE. THAT. *snap!* And even if we couldn't, it wouldn't matter, because... *puts arm out* my friendship with the Ricardos means more to me than all the money on earth. And then she said, 'I'm not the only tenant who feels this way. I advise you to think it over!' and I said, 'Well, I advise YOU to think it over!' and then she flounced out of the apartment! :D "

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"Oh, just wait 'til Mickey Richardson hears about this!"

 

Lucy: "Wait a minute! If he wasn't sleeping that means he was awake!"

Ethel: "Well THERE'S a monumental conclusion!"

 

"Oh Lucy, why don't you just shoot her when she walks through the door!"

 

"I wouldn't accept that pretty please if you poured brandy over it and LIT IT!"

 

"It's like expecting Clark Gable and ending up with Hubert Grimset!"

 

"The reason he almost choked to death is because $100 is all I've ever spent on clothes since we were married!"

 

"Of course I'll have to have them altered...she's MUCH bigger in the hips than I am!"

 

"I need the key to the trunk, unless you need it to play a tune!"

 

"Oh I'm sorry mum, but you know how forgetful us old nanny's are!"

 

Lucy: "Ricky, we're out here, dear!"

Betty: "Hurry up Ralph, we're waiting!"

Ethel: "FRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEED!"

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Ethel (when she saw Lucy with her arms around Fred trying to recover train tickets): What are you doing?!

 

Ethel (when Little Ricky was playing his drum): Fred,Fred....Fred,Fred,Fred!!!!

 

Ethel (sarcastically,after lamp fell when Lucy suggested redecorating the Mertzes' apartment): Oh no,let's don't lose that lamp.

 

Ethel (commenting about Fred's cheapskate ways) : If the penny fits,pinch it!!!!

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"Ethel what birthday is it?" "OH it's mine."

 

"Fred... Lucy is in an awful mess.. NEVER MIND WHAT ELSE IS NEW.... STOP SAYING MADAM YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!"

 

".. especially when she gets on the phone with one of her gabby friends like Carolyn...I'll tell her you called

Marge.. OH CAROLYN!"

 

"Well that was a subtle performance."

 

"I ought to be used to this type thing"

 

"Oh honestly it's gettin so it's not safe to shut your eyes around here."

 

"Common sense has nothing to do with it.. When I say he's wrong HE'S WRONG!"

 

"If I'd a known this is what true friends are for, I'd of signed up as an enemy."

 

"Ethel are we or are we not in Japan?".."Yes we are CHO CHO SAN."

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"Fred... Lucy is in an awful mess.. NEVER MIND WHAT ELSE IS NEW.... STOP SAYING MADAM YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!"

 

:hlLOL: :hlLOL: !!!!!!! I LOVE that scene!

 

:lucy1: Ricky is giving me something -- something that every woman has always wanted from her husband.

:viv1: A divorce?? :huh:

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Lucy (when suggesting the Mertzes should redecorate their apartment) : Your apartment looks well,you know...what's the word I'm looking for?

 

Ethel: I don't use that kind of language.

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What do you think of that Minnie HA-HA?

 

YOU just be glad he didn't find out it was half of last month's rent.

 

While watching THE MOST HAPPY FELLA... Lucy.. this isn't my purse!

 

OH Lucy.. Oh Lucy I don't believe it.. the woman they're lookin' for is a hatchet murderess.. she doen't look like a ........ HATCHET!!

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What do you think of that Minnie HA-HA?

 

YOU just be glad he didn't find out it was half of last month's rent.

 

Lucy.. this isn't my purse!

 

OH Lucy.. Oh Lucy I don't believe it.. the woman they're lookin' for is a hatchet murderess.. she doen't look like a ........ HATCHET!!

 

"Is it supposed to do that?" :lucyhorror:

"Are ya wet?" :lucythrill:

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