Brock Posted January 3, 2013 Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 We have our Fred and Ethel Spin-Off, so let’s imagine Lucille Ball Productions decided to spin off Mary Jane and Vanda into their own series for the 1974 – 1975 season. ONE HOUR PILOT: There Goes The Groom After learning so much from her dynamite charm school, Mary Jane decides to purchase a franchise teaching charm herself. Vanda becomes her first client wanting to make one last ditch attempt to snag Sam at the cafe. Evidently Mary Jane learned a lot and Vanda and Sam make plans for a fun Vegas wedding with Mary Jane and Harry as maid of honour and best man. Although Harry will only spring for a cut rate wedding at Poopendorf’s Chapel of Love, they are blissfully happy...until Sam is lured away from Vanda by an attractive Keno runner. A quickie divorce ensues and Harry – providing his usual sound legal advice – mistakenly hands over controlling interest in the cafe to Vanda in the settlement, thus establishing Sam as a perpetual thorn in Vanda’s side and a series regular. GUEST STAR: Gale Gordon EPISODE 2: Watch Her Float Across... It’s that time of year again and Carol Krausmeyer is in full raining for this year’s Secretary Beautiful contest. Although still stung from her very brief marriage with Sam, Vanda is incensed at the attention Sam is paying to the suddenly glamourous Carol. Although she has no intention of trying to get Sam back, she never wants him to forget what he’s missing, Vanda trains hard to go head to head with Carol in the contest. The only problem? She’s a restauranteur and not a secretary – so she convinces Mary Jane to hire her temporarily as charm school administrator, but things go awry when Vanda realises Mary Jane is Carol’s glamour coach. GUEST STAR: Carol Burnett EPISODE 3: Boynton Beach Memoirs Vanda gives Mary Jane a new Italian haircut. Meanwhile, Connie Brooks Boynton shows up at Mary Jane’s charm school in a last ditch attempt to put some pizzazz back into her lacklustre marriage to the bashful biology teacher. When Mary Jane mentions Connie’s visit in passing to her cousin Daisy Enright, Daisy picks up the phone and, in her cousin’s Dingy voice, convinces Connie to come by her place for a surprise – and sabotaging – late night charm session. Connie recognizes her old rival immediately, as Daisy didn’t get the memo on Mary Jane’s new hairdo. GUEST STAR: Eve Arden, Mary Jane Croft EPISODE 4: Canary Club Capers (Part 1) After their recent charity drive captures media attention, the Canary Club is invited to come and warble on The Tonight Show. Mary Jane decides to give all the girls a makeover, but goes a step further and takes it upon herself to put Tiny on a diet regimen to make her television ready. Mary Jane and Vanda come to blows, however, when Mary Jane discovers she’s been slipping Tiny some of Sam’s Cafe delicacies, as Tiny has been one of their best customers. EPISODE 5: Canary Club Capers (Part 2) Meanwhile, over in New York, Lucy Carter has been working as a copywriter at Sterling Cooper Draper Campbell Harris. Thrilled that their campaign for Mais Oui had such a tremendous response – and that Lucy’s Mais Oui jingles became viral hits – they thought the Widow Carter might have a certain genius about her. Anyway, after picking up Variety one morning she reads a brief that the Canary Club was going to be on The Tonight Show the following week, so Lucy immediately flies to the coast , insisting that as she was a member of the club within the calendar year, she is entitled to be a part of their act. GUEST STARS: Lucille Ball, Johnny Carson EPISODE 6: The Commercial Business has started to plateau for Mary Jane’s Charm School after a brief spike following the Canary Club’s Tonight Show appearance. Deciding that word of mouth is no longer doing the trick, Mary Jane hits upon the idea of doing a local television commercial starring Vanda. While Vanda in the finished result looks the epitome of glamour, Mary Jane didn’t account for the voice. Vanda is outraged to come upon the commercial during the late, late show of Pygmalion to discover her voice had been dubbed by Marni Nixon! GUEST STAR: Marni Nixon EPISODE 7: The Great Seduction Tired of running the charm school out of her home, Mary Jane believes professional office space is just the thing she needs to ensure the continued success of the business. Naturally, she believes the perfect spot is her old digs at the office building. After consulting with building owner Dan Dailey, he tells her that all the tenants are firmly locked into their leases for the next year, except for the Unique Employment Agency, as Harry insisted his month-to-month pay arrangement be grandfathered in by Dan. Mary Jane decides to put some of her own medicine to work to seduce Harry into not renewing for the next month so she can have the office. Loose lips, however, sink ships and when Dan spills the beans to Sam over a cup of coffee, Sam slips the plan to Harry who is fully prepared for Mary Jane’s advances. Guest Stars: Gale Gordon, Dan Dailey EPISODE 8: Mary Jane Dates Howard Cosell When Mary Jane joins Vanda and Sam in watching the weekly football game, the divorced duo are surprised to hear their friend waxing lyrical about her idol and dream man Howard Cosell, particularly since he’s Vanda’s favourite cousin. As a special Christmas surprise, Vanda conspires to have Howard meet Mary Jane at the Cafe expecting Mary Jane to have the thrill of her life. Both women are taken aback, however, when it is love at first sight for Howard, who starts pursing Mary Jane with a lust beyond which either lady has ever known! He thinks it’s her voice. Guest Star: Howard Cosell. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.