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Things learned from watching ANY Lucy Show


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1.) Phipps are a great big bunch of gyps

2.) It's better to have the cheese be a baby than have the baby be a cheese

3.) Polly Parker's Perky Pickles will tackle your pillet, pickle your tallet, packle your tillet and tickle your pallet. And BOY are they DELICIOUS!

4.) Never put a workbag on top of a tank of piranha

5.) If you get shot with a tranquilizer gun you will do everything in slooo-mooooo

6.) You haven't lived until you've drifted the wrong way through a flock of geese

7.) If you want your spouse to take you on a business trip, make him or her feel jealous by hiding secret lovers in the closet.

8.) Swimming pools on cruise liners have murky black water

9.) Before you destroy your house "fixing" a light switch, the problem may be that the lamp is not plugged in.

10.) While on a train, wear rain gear while eating dinner because certain crazy people may keep pulling the emergency cord

11.) Never leave a sugar-cube replica of the White House on the floor near a door

12.) A cigarette lighter can be mistaken for Aladdin's lamp and "grant" wishes

13.) If you drop your son's autographed ball into a porpoise pool at Marineland, just ask a park employee to retrieve it for you instead of trying to get it yourself and winding up in the pool

14.) Splicing your husband's TV pilot film into your western drama will have very funny and wacky results

15.) Yogurt, wheatgrass and bee pollen is not a very tasty energy shake (Life with Lucy)

16.) If your granddaughter claims to be practicing the saxophone it may only be a tape recording because she really hates it (Life with Lucy)

17.) Don't hold down the quantity button too long while ordering something off the computer because instead of 1, it can send 111 (Life with Lucy)

18.) To get somebody to stay longer before closing up, just secretly unplug the clock

19.) Cooking 4 pounds of rice will cause a rice volcano in the kitchen

20.) Tornados and earthquakes don't happen in Connecticut because it's a really dull state

21.) While on a paint scaffold don't put your hands on your hips

22.) High school musicals about the generation gap can have AMAZING sets including a laserbeam in the space age

23.) A surfboard isn't a luxury it's a necessity

24.) If a man buys a ceramic cat for his wife's birthday he must REALLY hate her

25.) To trick your boss into signing a check, make him do it while he's groggy from anesthesia

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- a sheep is cheaper than a lawnmower at keeping your grass cut.

 

- if you are trying to meet movie stars, it is quicker to find one of their watering holes than to drive around trying to find them one at a time.

 

- four people can sit in two seats in some theater balconies

 

- wax tulips can pass for real ones.

 

- never put 13 cakes of yeast into one bowl of bread dough! :D

 

- when your best friend's husband asks you to buy her birthday present for him this year, think twice before agreeing.

 

- if you wear stage makeup, remove it before entering the 'spectin fathers waiting room.

 

- don't become a gangster if you don't have the arms for it. ;)

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Make sure the balcony is empty if baking a huge loaf of bread. Keep some putty in the bedroom in case you need to make large fake nose. Do not sit on a popcorn maker. Make sure you install the shower door opening OUT. Someone you think might be the STAR's double might actually be the real thing! Don't put anybody's RING on all the way if it's tight. It's cheaper to wash your hair in BEER instead of Champagne.

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Make sure the balcony is empty if baking a huge loaf of bread. Keep some putty in the bedroom in case you need to make large fake nose. Do not sit on a popcorn maker. Make sure you install the shower door opening OUT. Someone you think might be the STAR's double might actually be the real thing! Don't put anybody's RING on all the way if it's tight. It's cheaper to wash your hair in BEER instead of Champagne.

 

 

Be careful if you cut out material for a new dress on a carpet

To avoid watching your friend's son's home movies for the hundreth time just keep talkin and talkin and talkin'

A Phipp foam mattress is like sleeping on rocks

"Ethelu's" rolls off your tongue much better than "Lucyeth's" claims to

The flavor of the month is Kumquat

Nobody would think of just feeling around the bottom of the punch bowl for a wedding ring that was accidentally dropped in

Helium balloons and ice cream molds give birthday parties special little touches

It's not a sensible idea to take a screw from the adding machine to fix a typewriter, but if you take a screw from a telephone to fix the adding machine, it works because some phone companies apparently don't charge anything for repairs

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You haven't lived until you've shifted gears in rollerskates

It's a bad idea to mow the lawn at night

 

 

250 dollars for an appraisal of a worthless painting is Vincent's price

 

If you stop at a rental cabin en route to California it is NOT worth 16 dollars.

 

If your best friend/roommate sprains her ankle, she may be faking just to have you wait on her

 

Kris Krinkled is a good name for a broken Santa Clause ornament

 

You ARE Superman if you can survive 15 years of marriage with your screwball wife

 

If you want equal rights, you'd better bring money to pay the bill at a restaurant

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  • 1 month later...

That Lucille Ball was the very best comedy actress of all time

 

Never take frozen popover batter OUT of a kettle and shove it in the oven

Small Christmas trees don't really say "Merry Christmas"

Trying to stop a "broke" person from "marriage" to a rich person can cost the "broke" person $100,000

"Unselling" something probably will not work and you'll just get more orders

Men are messy

If you're a woman who puts on a fake beard to get your husband to shave, make sure you don't glue it on with bulldog cement

Never do business with friends

Pregnant women are unpredictable

If you get caught gambling by your father you probably won't be able to sit down for a week

Be careful frosting a chocolate cake while wearing contact lenses

If you make a cake for a bake sale, make one you think nobody else will make

If you need to rescue a cockateil on the phone line, wear a grass skirt, gloves and flippers so you won't get electrocuted

Certain maids keep butchered cows in the pantry

To get a free room in a fancy Vegas hotel, pretend to be a high rolling gambler, but don't be surprised if all you win is 5 dollars

A "gorboona" can surprisingly look like a man in a costume

Don't always assume that a stray sheepdog is a boy because he could give birth to 9 puppies

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SHE WAS FROM MY HOME TOWN!!!!!!

 

 

n-yaaa; n-yaaa; n-yaaa n-yaaa n-yaaa!!!!

 

Wonder how many Lucille Ball fans can say that???? And, my Dad, his best friend, my aunt, and my high school health teacher, L-Pauline Lopus, were among her childhood friends!!!! WOW!!!!!....And....she comes to me in dreams; I hope to urge me onward with her 'diary'....

 

.........just sayin' :wub::ill::fabrary:

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SHE WAS FROM MY HOME TOWN!!!!!!

 

 

n-yaaa; n-yaaa; n-yaaa n-yaaa n-yaaa!!!!

 

Wonder how many Lucille Ball fans can say that???? And, my Dad, his best friend, my aunt, and my high school health teacher, L-Pauline Lopus, were among her childhood friends!!!! WOW!!!!!....And....she comes to me in dreams; I hope to urge me onward with her 'diary'....

 

.........just sayin' :wub::ill::fabrary:

SHOW OFF!!! Did you ever get a dress made from Marion Strong? Do you know the Orsattis? LOL! No, seriously, you're right, YOU are in a Lucy Class, all by yourself!

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SHOW OFF!!! Did you ever get a dress made from Marion Strong? Do you know the Orsattis? LOL! No, seriously, you're right, YOU are in a Lucy Class, all by yourself!

 

Come to think of it; was also taught High School English, and Journalism Class, by Calvin Hanson, sister to [forget her first name], proprietress, 'Hanson's Dress Shop', the one Lucille and Vivian were standing in front of, although it seems to me it 'might have been' 'Hanson's Upholstery Shop' or some-such.... too many years have gone by remembering the proper name, and I apologize for that!

 

Oh, and Brock, it was health AND study hall for me with L. Pauline....

at that time, it was 'MISS LOPUS" to we who were taught manners. Others had 'other' names for her....

 

Isn't this fun?

 

Happy Holidays, All....JK

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Come to think of it; was also taught High School English, and Journalism Class, by Calvin Hanson, sister to [forget her first name], proprietress, 'Hanson's Dress Shop', the one Lucille and Vivian were standing in front of, although it seems to me it 'might have been' 'Hanson's Upholstery Shop' or some-such.... too many years have gone by remembering the proper name, and I apologize for that!

 

Oh, and Brock, it was health AND study hall for me with L. Pauline....

at that time, it was 'MISS LOPUS" to we who were taught manners. Others had 'other' names for her....

 

Isn't this fun?

 

Happy Holidays, All....JK

When did Pauline pass on and how old was she?

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When did Pauline pass on and how old was she?

 

Great question: Pauline Lopus, 9/4/10 - 8/1/96

 

Lloyd Faulkner [and brothers] (raised in the Lucy House, which his parents bought after the gun incicent and Grampa Hunt lost the house in court battle in the 20's), was her 'caregiver' at the end of her life. She was in sad shape; a woman raised by her mother; kept a spinster (rumor has it she had a 'beau' at one time; but, Momma put the kibosh to the relationship. It worked; she was then forever alone after her mother died). She had her cats (by the tens of numbers) and the house probably should have been condemned, it was so bad inside....) the outside of the house, which if you are facing the Lucy House, it was across the driveway to your left, still looked good; but the inside had to be 'gutted' when it was finally sold....have no idea when THAT took place. Should I see Lloyd, I shall ask him about those events, and any more gossip if you are interested.

 

Hard to believe; the woman taught us Health; she was immaculate of person; beautiful, flawless, peaches and cream complexion; spoke precisely, etc., spoke softly; but, I guess, after teaching all day, her 'alone time' with her cats was the bad part.....

 

Probably more than you wanted; but, the best I can do right now.

 

Fondly, JK

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Great question: Pauline Lopus, 9/4/10 - 8/1/96

 

Lloyd Faulkner [and brothers] (raised in the Lucy House, which his parents bought after the gun incicent and Grampa Hunt lost the house in court battle in the 20's), was her 'caregiver' at the end of her life. She was in sad shape; a woman raised by her mother; kept a spinster (rumor has it she had a 'beau' at one time; but, Momma put the kibosh to the relationship. It worked; she was then forever alone after her mother died). She had her cats (by the tens of numbers) and the house probably should have been condemned, it was so bad inside....) the outside of the house, which if you are facing the Lucy House, it was across the driveway to your left, still looked good; but the inside had to be 'gutted' when it was finally sold....have no idea when THAT took place. Should I see Lloyd, I shall ask him about those events, and any more gossip if you are interested.

 

Hard to believe; the woman taught us Health; she was immaculate of person; beautiful, flawless, peaches and cream complexion; spoke precisely, etc., spoke softly; but, I guess, after teaching all day, her 'alone time' with her cats was the bad part.....

 

Probably more than you wanted; but, the best I can do right now.

 

Fondly, JK

No, are you kidding, that was terrific to learn about her, i remember seeing her in that Lucy/Desi doc, she seemed well versed and articulate, i should have guessed she had been a teacher. I'm also happy she got a good 86 years with us, in spite of her hard and lonely life.

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