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Why Couldn't Lucy Have Been a Little More Hip?


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During her last nine seasons with a regular series on CBS, Lucille Ball had so many guest stars appear on her show.  But unfortunately, too few left a memorable impression, particularly the musical guests.  Don't get me wrong, some of them were great performers, even if they might have not been given the best material to work with.  But too many of them seemed already out of date by the time they appeared with Lucy.  And even when Lucy hand-picked a rising star, it was someone whose appeal seemed to have limitations.

 

Ed Sullivan, in spite of his stodgy persona, got the greatest, most revolutionary acts on his show -- performers whose work transcends times (the Beatles and Elvis Presley ring a bell?)  But Lucy?  I mean, really, instead of bringing on -- multiple times -- a 23 year-old with a prepubescent voice singing to a cow, why oh why couldn't she have gotten this guy on her show -- also new rising star at the time:

 

 

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Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!  :lucythrill:  Lucy and Mary Jane must figure out a plan to get her underwear back so Lucy doesn't come home bra-less in front of her kids.

D'oh! This reminds me that Marlo "That Girl" Thomas and Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) both went braless the last season of their respective hit shows (1971 & 72, respectively); have always wondered whether it was coincidence or what... and now thinking about it, thank GOD Lucy didn't follow suit in '73-'74!!! :blink:

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D'oh! This reminds me that Marlo "That Girl" Thomas and Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) both went braless the last season of their respective hit shows (1971 & 72, respectively); have always wondered whether it was coincidence or what... and now thinking about it, thank GOD Lucy didn't follow suit in '73-'74!!! :blink:

 

Marlo Thomas and Elizabeth Montgomery braless?  For real?  Now there's a bit of trivia I never knew!  Lucy did, however, pose nude in '73-'74.  ^_^

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Now THERE'S a great episode!

 

Moments after tossing her underwear onstage at Tom Jones, Lucy realizes the trouble she's about to be in.

 

LUCY:  Oh no, Mary Jane, I'm in trouble!  I need to get my underwear back!  Kim and Craig will still be up when I get home.  We have plans to go out for a late-night dessert tonight.  I can't just walk in the door have them see me with no bra on!

 

MARY JANE:  Lucy, once you toss your underwear at Tom Jones, you've lost all rights to it!  And imagine being able to tell the girls at the office that Tom Jones has your underwear!

 

LUCY:  Come on, Mary Jane, I'm serious.  There has to be a way to get it back!  Maybe if you just walk on stage and kindly ask him to give it to you.

 

MARY JANE:  Me?!  Walk on stage in the middle of his act?  Are you out of your mind?  Why don't YOU do that.

 

LUCY:  Because I'm not wearing any pants!

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Marlo Thomas and Elizabeth Montgomery braless? For real? Now there's a bit of trivia I never knew! Lucy did, however, pose nude in '73-'74. ^_^

Well I didn't know this either. I always thought that posing nude storyline was so out of character for Lucy and Lucille. She was such a public prude then I'm surprised she let this storyline be okayed. She had a bit of that naughtiness in her. I wish she would have let it out more.

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Well...she may have been painted that way but I doubt she actually posed for it!! :HALKING:

I know the nude photos in both Lucy books are not Lucy, but that still doesn't mean that she didn't pose nude back in her NYC days. Maybe before she discovered the more lucrative game of $100 dinners where you take the rolls home with you. And damn, $100 was a lot of money back then.

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Moments after tossing her underwear onstage at Tom Jones, Lucy realizes the trouble she's about to be in.

 

LUCY:  Oh no, Mary Jane, I'm in trouble!  I need to get my underwear back!  Kim and Craig will still be up when I get home.  We have plans to go out for a late-night dessert tonight.  I can't just walk in the door have them see me with no bra on!

 

MARY JANE:  Lucy, once you toss your underwear at Tom Jones, you've lost all rights to it!  And imagine being able to tell the girls at the office that Tom Jones has your underwear!

 

LUCY:  Come on, Mary Jane, I'm serious.  There has to be a way to get it back!  Maybe if you just walk on stage and kindly ask him to give it to you.

 

MARY JANE:  Me?!  Walk on stage in the middle of his act?  Are you out of your mind?  Why don't YOU do that.

 

LUCY:  Because I'm not wearing any pants!

Ha! That's hilarious! Maybe Carol Krausmeyer could also get in on this, and rush the stage when he won't give her panties back and tackle him.

 

CAROL: Gimmie back my Victoria's Secret or I will KILL YOU!!!!

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But Lucy is so discrete that she won't say the word bra, she can only spell it.

 

Haha!  True. Line rewritten:

 

LUCY:  Oh no, Mary Jane, I'm in trouble!  I need to get my unmentionables back!  Kim and Craig will still be up when I get home.  We have plans to go out for a late-night dessert tonight.  I can't just walk in the door have them see me with no B-R-A on!

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Moments after tossing her underwear onstage at Tom Jones, Lucy realizes the trouble she's about to be in.

 

LUCY:  Oh no, Mary Jane, I'm in trouble!  I need to get my underwear back!  Kim and Craig will still be up when I get home.  We have plans to go out for a late-night dessert tonight.  I can't just walk in the door have them see me with no bra on!

 

MARY JANE:  Lucy, once you toss your underwear at Tom Jones, you've lost all rights to it!  And imagine being able to tell the girls at the office that Tom Jones has your underwear!

 

LUCY:  Come on, Mary Jane, I'm serious.  There has to be a way to get it back!  Maybe if you just walk on stage and kindly ask him to give it to you.

 

MARY JANE:  Me?!  Walk on stage in the middle of his act?  Are you out of your mind?  Why don't YOU do that.

 

LUCY:  Because I'm not wearing any pants!

 

Additional scenes submitted for your approval:

1. Shot of Jones singing onstage with underwear being thrown at him right and left.  Then a pair of oversized boxers hits Jones in the face.

Jones: "Who threw these BOXERS?"   Cutaway shot to a sheepish but enthralled Harry Carter. 

 

2. Later in song set with panties still being flung, Jones is knocked down by a full torso foundation garment with garter hooks at the hem.

Cutaway to Barbara Morrison "And I AM a perfect size 14!"

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Additional scenes submitted for your approval:

1. Shot of Jones singing onstage with underwear being thrown at him right and left.  Then a pair of oversized boxers hits Jones in the face.

Jones: "Who threw these BOXERS?"   Cutaway shot to a sheepish but enthralled Harry Carter. 

 

2. Later in song set with panties still being flung, Jones is knocked down by a full torso foundation garment with garter hooks at the hem.

Cutaway to Barbara Morrison "And I AM a perfect size 14!"

 

:marionstrong::HALKING::D  That literally did make me LOL, particularly the Harry Carter part.  I always did have my suspicions about Harry.  Oh why couldn't Milt Josefsberg have thought of this?!

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After the initial Hollywood episodes with William Holden, Richard Widmark and all, Lucy's series never again attracted 'movie people who didn't do television'.  With the standout exception of the Burtons, who in actuality by 1970 were better known for their celebrity status than any movie work they were doing.  Liz's career as an A-list movie star was pretty much over. 

I can't think of any guest star-snaring coups.  I suppose John Wayne in 1966.  Maybe Shelley Winters in '68. (One thing acting coach Ball did NOT have to say to Shelley "Speak up, they need to hear you.")  But everyone else was either already doing TV, no longer a movie 'star', or in some cases completely out of work.  Nobody was banging down Frankie Avalon's door in 1973, clamoring for his celebrity impersonations.

The production team of TLS and HL did not progress past the 50s in their view of the modern world and who was a celebrity.  The Rudy Vallee episode--and the Jack Benny episodes for that matter--assume we in 1970 knew a lot about these 70+ year old performers in their heyday.  Example: Rudy's song "My Time is Your Time" chimed by his doorbell. 

HL never seemed more out of touch than when we see a group of Kim and Craig's friends who look and act like they're on The Donna Reed Show.  

I have to cringe when (don't know the episode) Lucy is upset because Kim's going to 'the protest'.  Where's Craig?  He's organizing 'the protest'.   These 60 year old writers had no idea what 'the protest' was about, nor did they care.   This was at the very height of the Vietnam War.  No one was expecting Lucy to tackle weighty subjects, but mocking them wasn't a good idea. 

I have to admit to liking the "Rudy Vallee" episode.  

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Neil, I'm smelling a new series here: "Hip, Hip Lucy" - let's make Lucy the hippest of the hip circa 1970!

 

Think of the possibilities, some already discussed.

 

"Lucy Meets Tom Jones"

"Lucy & The Beatles"

"Mooney and the Monkees"

 

Okay, help me out, who else was huge back then? I kind of go by Lucy for that info, so my concepts are clearly outmoded here.

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I'm digging this whole storyline. And somehow I can totally see Uncle Harry loving Tom Jones.

 

LUCY:  Harry, could I have this afternoon off?

 

HARRY:  What?!!  You come in an hour late, then expect me to let you leave work early on the same day!  No way!  You have all these files to organize before the meeting on Friday with one of our most important clients.

 

LUCY:  But Harry, it's important!

 

HARRY:  What is more important than a rich . . . I mean, an important client?

 

LUCY (rolls eyes):  Harry, I need the afternoon off because Mary Jane, Carol Krausmeyer and I need to buy tickets for the Tom Jones concert on Saturday night.  I may never get another opportunity.  His shows are almost impossible to get into.  He's my absolute favorite.  They will sell out if we don't get there early.  I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow.  Just this one time, Harry, please.

 

HARRY:  Tom Jones!  Why didn't you tell me it's for Tom Jones?  Oh Tom Jones, I just adore Tom Jones!  He's my idol.

 

LUCY:  I didn't know that.

 

HARRY:  Why yes, I worship the very ground he gyrates on.

 

LUCY:  So you will let me leave early?

 

HARRY:  Only if you buy four tickets.

 

LUCY:  Four tickets?  There are only three of us.

 

HARRY:  You, Mary Jane, Carol, and ME.  That's four.

 

LUCY:  Oh Harry.

 

HARRY:  It's four tickets or NO tickets.

 

LUCY:  Alright, alright.

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LUCY:  Harry, could I have this afternoon off?

 

HARRY:  What?!!  You come in an hour late, then expect me to let you leave work early on the same day!  No way!  You have all these files to organize before the meeting on Friday with one of our most important clients.

 

LUCY:  But Harry, it's important!

 

HARRY:  What is more important than a rich . . . I mean, an important client?

 

LUCY (rolls eyes):  Harry, I need the afternoon off because Mary Jane, Carol Krausmeyer and I need to buy tickets for the Tom Jones concert on Saturday night.  I may never get another opportunity.  His shows are almost impossible to get into.  He's my absolute favorite.  They will sell out if we don't get there early.  I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow.  Just this one time, Harry, please.

 

HARRY:  Tom Jones!  Why didn't you tell me it's for Tom Jones?  Oh Tom Jones, I just adore Tom Jones!  He's my idol.

 

LUCY:  I didn't know that.

 

HARRY:  Why yes, I worship the very ground he gyrates on.

 

LUCY:  So you will let me leave early?

 

HARRY:  Only if you buy four tickets.

 

LUCY:  Four tickets?  There are only three of us.

 

HARRY:  You, Mary Jane, Carol, and ME.  That's four.

 

LUCY:  Oh Harry.

 

HARRY:  It's four tickets or NO tickets.

 

LUCY:  Alright, alright.

Bob O'Brien would be jealous! :blink:

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LUCY:  Harry, could I have this afternoon off?

 

HARRY:  What?!!  You come in an hour late, then expect me to let you leave work early on the same day!  No way!  You have all these files to organize before the meeting on Friday with one of our most important clients.

 

LUCY:  But Harry, it's important!

 

HARRY:  What is more important than a rich . . . I mean, an important client?

 

LUCY (rolls eyes):  Harry, I need the afternoon off because Mary Jane, Carol Krausmeyer and I need to buy tickets for the Tom Jones concert on Saturday night.  I may never get another opportunity.  His shows are almost impossible to get into.  He's my absolute favorite.  They will sell out if we don't get there early.  I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow.  Just this one time, Harry, please.

 

HARRY:  Tom Jones!  Why didn't you tell me it's for Tom Jones?  Oh Tom Jones, I just adore Tom Jones!  He's my idol.

 

LUCY:  I didn't know that.

 

HARRY:  Why yes, I worship the very ground he gyrates on.

 

LUCY:  So you will let me leave early?

 

HARRY:  Only if you buy four tickets.

 

LUCY:  Four tickets?  There are only three of us.

 

HARRY:  You, Mary Jane, Carol, and ME.  That's four.

 

LUCY:  Oh Harry.

 

HARRY:  It's four tickets or NO tickets.

 

LUCY:  Alright, alright.

I pictured every second being delivered by them and it was pitch perfect!

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