Brock Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Bill: Let’s move on to a new feature. A new feature on Weekend Update. I think you’re going to enjoy this. Bill Murray’s Celebrity Corner. That’s right. I feel this will add a warm touch to the news because today we have a very special guest who’s asked to come on to help me launch this special feature. This is the beautiful, the First Lady of Television herself, Lucille Ball and her husband Gary Morton. Lucy, thanks a lot for coming on Celebrity Corner. Lucy: (exaggerated gravely voice) Well, thank you for having me, Bill, and I certainly want to wish you good luck. (takes a drag) Bill: I know you do, Lucy. You look wonderful, and so do you, Gary, but let me ask you this: How are Fred and Ethel? Lucy: Fred is dead. Bill: Freddie’s dead? Lucy: That’s what I said. Bill Frawley died a while ago. Bill: Forgive me, Lucy honey, but we’ve been having a newspaper strike here in New York and I didn’t even know he was sick. Lucy, could you perform for us? Lucy: Bill! Bill: Come on. Just one little Lucy-ism? Lucy: No, Bill, reaaaaally! Bill: Luuuuuuuucccccccyyyyyy! Come on, Luccccccccyyyyy! (Gary nods “Go on!” to Lucy) Bill: Here’s the scene: You’re working in a bakery and the conveyor belt starts to go too fast, all the cupcakes end up on the floor and you’re so upset you go— Lucy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Bill: Ah-HAHA! Bill: Just the way I remember it! AH! Isn’t that great?! She’s incredible! You know, Honey, it was that physical shtick that was always your trademark, Lucy. Let me ask you this – is there any truth to the rumour that you and Desi will remarry? (Gary winces) Bill: Personally I’d like to see it happen. Lucy: No, Bill. Desi was a loser; a very talented man, but he felt he had to lose. Gary is a winner. Gary: Bill: What’s in the future for Lucy? Will she do another TV show or movie? Lucy: No, Bill, I’m very happy as I am. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful home, two extremely untalented children whom I love, and peace of mind. I’m content just to sit in my garden with Rose Marie and talk about how time has ravaged our faces. Bill: Thank you very much for being on Celebrity Corner with us, Lucy. Bye! Well, that was the first Celebrity Corner. I loved it! I loved that one! How about you, Jane? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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