Mot Morenzi Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Let's cull a collection of Viv's snarkiest, funniest retorts and one liners. Can be from any series. TLS - Together for Christmas: "I knew it! I can see the moth-eaten Santa and the chipped glass birds right now!" ILL - The Gossip: "Now THERE'S a monumental conclusion!" ILL - California Here We Come: "Oh just wait 'til Mickey Richardson hears about this!" (contender for best Ethel line ever, IMO) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikidiki Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Great thread but I'm terrible at remembering lines unless I physically watch an episode - god, can you imagine how frustrated Lucy would have been with me if I were a special guest star? I'll have to get back to you when I get some funny lines - no doubt they will be from each episode cause she always had some great one-liners! In fact I think Viv was given the funniest one-liners out of the all the characters in ILL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 (to Merman) Vivian wants you to. She will be able to tell her grandchildren that the great Ethel Merman slept in her bed. I was wondering what I was going to tell my grandchildren! _________________ If the girls at home ever saw me in this can of worms they'd kick me out of the garden club! (Viv Visits Lucy) _________________ I have sufficient. (Housewarming) _________________ For once the bull will be full of Lucy. (Bull Fight Dance) _________________ Mr. Mooney, I can't thank you enough for coming by to read to us! (Loophole in the Lease) _________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 *smash* What happened?! YOU broke a window! (moments later) *smash* What was that?! We're even! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikidiki Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 I can't believe so many people can remember lines verbatim! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annaleigh Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 My all time favorite.... Ethel: Are ya wet?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annaleigh Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Changing the Boys Wardrobe: Lucy: Wanna go have dinner with the boys? Ethel: Yes...........WHAT BOYS?! Lucy goes to Sun Valley: Lucy: Don't you wish Fred was here? Ethel: If Fred was here I'd throw rocks at him. Lucy Wants a Career: Fred: Ethel, did you just say you are going to have a baby! Ethel: Ohhh. Shut. Up. Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower: Lucy: Maybe someone will come by and save us. Viv: What, some door to door frog man! Lucy's Mother In Law Ethel: SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE! Lucy: WHO'S HERE?! Ethel: RICKY'S MOTHER! Lucy: How do you know?!?! Ethel: She tried to pay the cab driver in pesos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magster Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Did you pay this month's water bill? Yeah, why? THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO!! Give her the money? Is she going with us? If Fred left you what would you be doing? Celebrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikidiki Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Did you pay this month's water bill? Yeah, why? THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO!! Give her the money? Is she going with us? If Fred left you what would you be doing? Celebrating. Call me blonde but I never understood that water bill line - can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Call me blonde but I never understood that water bill line - can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make sense to me. If Lucy hadn't paid the water bill, there would be a chance the water would be cut off and save our heroines from certain death. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikidiki Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 If Lucy hadn't paid the water bill, there would be a chance the water would be cut off and save our heroines from certain death. LOL Ohhhhh! Of course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mot Morenzi Posted November 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Well THAT was a subtle performance! Ohh Mr. Loper, oh! Yes, the shells. Ucy-Lay. I'll take him to the Itchen-kay while you am-scray up the air-stay and get essed-dray! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 That will be all, Ethel Mae. You bet your sweet life, it will be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Why don't you just shoot her when she walks through the door? If some other women were to take Fred away from you you'd be singing a different tune. Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 If I could have looked like her, do you think I'd have married FRED?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Well, you can't do the finale. Why? Because I'm doing it! Why should you get to do it? I'm the president! Well, I'm the co-president! I'm the chairman! Yeah, but I'm the one who knows how you got to BE chairman!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annaleigh Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 I know this isn't a true line but... Sensible? Oh cmon girl, Sensible my ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Kampen Tripp Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Stop saying' madame you've got the wrong number! (While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me! If I'd a known this is what friends are for.. I'd of signed up as an enemy. Oh is THAT the carberator?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeySanJoaquin Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Stop saying' madame you've got the wrong number! (While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me! If I'd a known this is what friends are for.. I'd of signed up as an enemy. Oh is THAT the carberator?? That is one of my all-time faves -- cracks me up every time!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 (While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me! I should have made my bed this morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 30, 2012 Report Share Posted November 30, 2012 I was wondering what to wear at all those SMART dinner parties I give. Ricky: That one is ours. Danny: Those two are ours. Ethel: We raise chickens Judge Gale: Oh, you ARE a miserable tightwad. Fred: What'd he say, Ethel? Ethel: Nothing you haven't heard before. Mr. Mooney can tiptoe through those tulips all by himself! (handing passport photo to Charles Lane) Now, don't laugh.... I LIVE HERE and when there's a bed, I sleep here. and my nominee for best Ethel line ever: I am getting a LITTLE TIRED of being called a cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Kampen Tripp Posted December 3, 2012 Report Share Posted December 3, 2012 In the first season of Here's Lucy when Lucy has to meet the woman the computer picked at select-a-spouse... She runs into Viv... Lucy: Don't tell me your number (344625347).. I can't remeber the number darn it but Vivian's reaction and then her line: Don't tell me your my DATE! Puts me away every time!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mot Morenzi Posted February 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Us??? Sore??? Heh heh heh heh heh... None of the roads we've been on for the last hour are even on the map! I'll bet we're either in Canada or Mexico! Well maybe I'll develop other habits, like folding up roadmaps or keeping an eye open for clean restrooms! He just found out I'm not Bobo Rockefeller! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie2 Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 i have sufficient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Kampen Tripp Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 I'd look better wear in a toaster than I would those checkerboard britches! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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