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Viv: A Whip With a Quip


Mot Morenzi
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Let's cull a collection of Viv's snarkiest, funniest retorts and one liners. Can be from any series.

 

 

TLS - Together for Christmas: "I knew it! I can see the moth-eaten Santa and the chipped glass birds right now!"

 

ILL - The Gossip: "Now THERE'S a monumental conclusion!"

 

ILL - California Here We Come: "Oh just wait 'til Mickey Richardson hears about this!" (contender for best Ethel line ever, IMO)

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Great thread but I'm terrible at remembering lines unless I physically watch an episode - god, can you imagine how frustrated Lucy would have been with me if I were a special guest star? :lucyeww:

 

I'll have to get back to you when I get some funny lines - no doubt they will be from each episode cause she always had some great one-liners! In fact I think Viv was given the funniest one-liners out of the all the characters in ILL

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:lucy2: (to Merman) Vivian wants you to. She will be able to tell her grandchildren that the great Ethel Merman slept in her bed.

:viv2: I was wondering what I was going to tell my grandchildren! <_<

 

_________________

 

 

:viv2: If the girls at home ever saw me in this can of worms they'd kick me out of the garden club! (Viv Visits Lucy)

 

_________________

 

 

:viv1: I have sufficient. (Housewarming)

 

_________________

 

:viv1: For once the bull will be full of Lucy. (Bull Fight Dance)

 

_________________

 

:viv2: Mr. Mooney, I can't thank you enough for coming by to read to us! (Loophole in the Lease)

 

_________________

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Changing the Boys Wardrobe:

Lucy: Wanna go have dinner with the boys?

Ethel: Yes...........WHAT BOYS?!

 

Lucy goes to Sun Valley:

Lucy: Don't you wish Fred was here?

Ethel: If Fred was here I'd throw rocks at him.

 

Lucy Wants a Career:

Fred: Ethel, did you just say you are going to have a baby!

Ethel: Ohhh. Shut. Up.

 

Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower:

Lucy: Maybe someone will come by and save us.

Viv: What, some door to door frog man!

 

Lucy's Mother In Law

Ethel: SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE!

Lucy: WHO'S HERE?!

Ethel: RICKY'S MOTHER!

Lucy: How do you know?!?!

Ethel: She tried to pay the cab driver in pesos!

:D

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:viv2: Did you pay this month's water bill?

:lucy2: Yeah, why?

:viv2: THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO!! :angry:

 

:viv1: Give her the money? Is she going with us?

 

:lucy1: If Fred left you what would you be doing?

:viv1: Celebrating.

 

Call me blonde but I never understood that water bill line - can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make sense to me.

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Stop saying' madame you've got the wrong number!

 

(While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me!

 

If I'd a known this is what friends are for.. I'd of signed up as an enemy.

 

Oh is THAT the carberator??

That is one of my all-time faves -- cracks me up every time!! :D
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I was wondering what to wear at all those SMART dinner parties I give.

 

Ricky: That one is ours.

Danny: Those two are ours.

Ethel: We raise chickens

 

Judge Gale: Oh, you ARE a miserable tightwad.

Fred: What'd he say, Ethel?

Ethel: Nothing you haven't heard before.

 

Mr. Mooney can tiptoe through those tulips all by himself!

 

(handing passport photo to Charles Lane)

Now, don't laugh....

 

I LIVE HERE and when there's a bed, I sleep here.

 

and my nominee for best Ethel line ever:

I am getting a LITTLE TIRED of being called a cow.

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In the first season of Here's Lucy when Lucy has to meet the woman the computer picked at select-a-spouse... She runs into Viv...

 

Lucy: Don't tell me your number (344625347).. I can't remeber the number darn it

 

but Vivian's reaction and then her line: Don't tell me your my DATE!

 

Puts me away every time!!!!

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