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Viv: A Whip With a Quip

Mot Morenzi

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Let's cull a collection of Viv's snarkiest, funniest retorts and one liners. Can be from any series.



TLS - Together for Christmas: "I knew it! I can see the moth-eaten Santa and the chipped glass birds right now!"


ILL - The Gossip: "Now THERE'S a monumental conclusion!"


ILL - California Here We Come: "Oh just wait 'til Mickey Richardson hears about this!" (contender for best Ethel line ever, IMO)

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Great thread but I'm terrible at remembering lines unless I physically watch an episode - god, can you imagine how frustrated Lucy would have been with me if I were a special guest star? :lucyeww:


I'll have to get back to you when I get some funny lines - no doubt they will be from each episode cause she always had some great one-liners! In fact I think Viv was given the funniest one-liners out of the all the characters in ILL

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:lucy2: (to Merman) Vivian wants you to. She will be able to tell her grandchildren that the great Ethel Merman slept in her bed.

:viv2: I was wondering what I was going to tell my grandchildren! <_<





:viv2: If the girls at home ever saw me in this can of worms they'd kick me out of the garden club! (Viv Visits Lucy)





:viv1: I have sufficient. (Housewarming)




:viv1: For once the bull will be full of Lucy. (Bull Fight Dance)




:viv2: Mr. Mooney, I can't thank you enough for coming by to read to us! (Loophole in the Lease)



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Changing the Boys Wardrobe:

Lucy: Wanna go have dinner with the boys?

Ethel: Yes...........WHAT BOYS?!


Lucy goes to Sun Valley:

Lucy: Don't you wish Fred was here?

Ethel: If Fred was here I'd throw rocks at him.


Lucy Wants a Career:

Fred: Ethel, did you just say you are going to have a baby!

Ethel: Ohhh. Shut. Up.


Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower:

Lucy: Maybe someone will come by and save us.

Viv: What, some door to door frog man!


Lucy's Mother In Law


Lucy: WHO'S HERE?!


Lucy: How do you know?!?!

Ethel: She tried to pay the cab driver in pesos!


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:viv2: Did you pay this month's water bill?

:lucy2: Yeah, why?

:viv2: THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO!! :angry:


:viv1: Give her the money? Is she going with us?


:lucy1: If Fred left you what would you be doing?

:viv1: Celebrating.


Call me blonde but I never understood that water bill line - can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make sense to me.

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Stop saying' madame you've got the wrong number!


(While putting up the antenna) : If this ever blows down again.. Don't you let anyone help you put it back up but me!


If I'd a known this is what friends are for.. I'd of signed up as an enemy.


Oh is THAT the carberator??

That is one of my all-time faves -- cracks me up every time!! :D
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I was wondering what to wear at all those SMART dinner parties I give.


Ricky: That one is ours.

Danny: Those two are ours.

Ethel: We raise chickens


Judge Gale: Oh, you ARE a miserable tightwad.

Fred: What'd he say, Ethel?

Ethel: Nothing you haven't heard before.


Mr. Mooney can tiptoe through those tulips all by himself!


(handing passport photo to Charles Lane)

Now, don't laugh....


I LIVE HERE and when there's a bed, I sleep here.


and my nominee for best Ethel line ever:

I am getting a LITTLE TIRED of being called a cow.

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In the first season of Here's Lucy when Lucy has to meet the woman the computer picked at select-a-spouse... She runs into Viv...


Lucy: Don't tell me your number (344625347).. I can't remeber the number darn it


but Vivian's reaction and then her line: Don't tell me your my DATE!


Puts me away every time!!!!

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  • 2 years later...

Us??? Sore??? Heh heh heh heh heh...


None of the roads we've been on for the last hour are even on the map! I'll bet we're either in Canada or Mexico!


Well maybe I'll develop other habits, like folding up roadmaps or keeping an eye open for clean restrooms!


He just found out I'm not Bobo Rockefeller!

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  • 10 months later...


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