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Another recently discover failed Desilu pilot:  “The Ann Miller Show” aka “Tap Girl”

 

Ann Miller stars as a fictionalized version of herself in a role of Ann Marie (eventually reformatted for Marlo Thomas with the title slightly altered), an aging chorine who has kept herself in shape waiting for the return of tap dancing pictures.  Meanwhile she takes odd jobs and  auditions for small roles where she can, but always finds a way to interject  tap numbers into the productions, regardless of the genre. .

 

“AM is NG as DOA on CSI”  

When “The Pig” reduces Ann hours (or “arrs” as Ann puts it), she’s so desperate for money that she auditions for and lands the role of Dead Body #2  in a CSI episode  set at the Motion Picture Home, the plot centering around a shooting involving a gun dealer who fails to do a background check on Moe Howard.

When a medic examines “dead body” Ann, he follows the script and says “I don’t find a pulse” whereupon Ann starts one foot tapping loudly.  The investigators, fearing gunfire run for cover,  the cue for her accomplice (guest star, pilot producer Lucille ball) positioned backstage to start the record of  the “Easter Parade” soundtrack  as Ann springs to life,  bellows “Stand aside, sweetie!”, rips off her dowdy robe to reveal a spangled tights and launches into  “Shakin’ the Blues Away”.

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Another recently discover failed Desilu pilot:  “The Ann Miller Show” aka “Tap Girl”

 

Ann Miller stars as a fictionalized version of herself in a role of Ann Marie (eventually reformatted for Marlo Thomas with the title slightly altered), an aging chorine who has kept herself in shape waiting for the return of tap dancing pictures.  Meanwhile she takes odd jobs and  auditions for small roles where she can, but always finds a way to interject  tap numbers into the productions, regardless of the genre. .

 

“AM is NG as DOA on CSI”  

When “The Pig” reduces Ann hours (or “arrs” as Ann puts it), she’s so desperate for money that she auditions for and lands the role of Dead Body #2  in a CSI episode  set at the Motion Picture Home, the plot centering around a shooting involving a gun dealer who fails to do a background check on Moe Howard.

When a medic examines “dead body” Ann, he follows the script and says “I don’t find a pulse” whereupon Ann starts one foot tapping loudly.  The investigators, fearing gunfire run for cover,  the cue for her accomplice (guest star, pilot producer Lucille ball) positioned backstage to start the record of  the “Easter Parade” soundtrack  as Ann springs to life,  bellows “Stand aside, sweetie!”, rips off her dowdy robe to reveal a spangled tights and launches into  “Shakin’ the Blues Away”.

WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU NOT WRITING FOR TELEVISION, IT SURE COULD USE YOU AND YOUR BOUNDLESS HUMOR!

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"Ann Plays Cleopaterer"

Ann is in more need of money than ever. The IRS red flagged her taxes since she's been putting "Star Lady" as her occupation and she is in the process of being audited. When she hears that John Kenley is having auditions for a production of "Antony and Cleopatra," Ann thinks she'd be perfect for the role of Cleo. When she arrives at the audition, she discovers that every other 1940s studio contract player is also trying out. Ann manages to win the role, but the other ladies are not happy. June Allyson lets out a string of cuss words and Annie feels sarry far her, so she suggests that June be given the role of Antony. Kenley, a fan of gender bending, thinks this casting is a great idea. Things go awry, however, when Annie wants their big death scene to end with her big tap number, but June wants the finale to be her recreating her famous "Cleopaterer" number.

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MODERN (Stone Age) FAMILY

 

Trouble is brewing behind the scenes on the new Stephen Sondheim musical based on THE FLINTSTONES starring Jackie Gleason, Lucille Ball, Mickey Rooney, and Ann Miller as Ann discovers her contract forces her to weigh 20 pounds more than old friend Lucy.  Ann marches into Sondheim's office and puts her foot down (which results in three minutes of uncontrolable tapping) demanding the clause be removed.  Lucy is called into the office and the tension escalates  as harsh words are exchanged and Lucy crying when she ends up breaking her nails after lunging for Ann's locks which are layered with industrial strength hairspray.  A happy compromise is reached with the weight clause dropped and Gary Morton being given Executive Producer credit.  Opening night is a sensation and all is happy and peaceful until an Ann Miller interview appears in the next morning's New York Times with the Star Lady now insisting she was really born in 1928 not 1923 or 1919 and that she was the only member of the STAGE DOOR cast not to sleep her way to the top.

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