Neil Posted May 5, 2012 Report Share Posted May 5, 2012 Episode title: “Kim Finally Cuts Her Own Umbilical Cord”, “Kim is NG and PG” or “Pregnant Nieces are Unpredicable” (seems like someone else has already come up with the first 2) During their 2nd date, Ronnie by-passes the roadblock Kim attempts to put up and finds her ‘freeway entrance’ which soon becomes an HOV lane as Kim discovers the joy of sex with her many boyfriends-of-the-week. Unfortunately her Latin Rhythm birth control method fails leaving Kim a “fallen angel” but she just can’t bring herself to tell her mother that she’s expectin’ and has no idea who the father is. Though Kim craves “Pickle-udge” for breakfast and borrows Uncle Harry’s Nui-nui muumuu to cover up her rapidly expanding waistline, Lucy doesn’t catch on. When Kim’s water breaks (drenching poor Uncle Harry, naturally), she calls Dr. Moss who brings over a big cardboard box, a blanket and a saucer of milk. Even the sight of Kim rocking the newborn doesn’t phase Lucy who has jumped to the conclusion that Kim has spontaneously given birth so many times, she just assumes it’s another gag. So how to tell her? How else!: Kim books herself into “The Enciente Ape”, one of the many clubs in the valley owned by a friend of Uncle Harry’s and invites her mother, who thinks it’s another one of her spontaneous and well-choreographed performances until someone prompts Kim to ‘Sing the baby song!”: “We’ve just had a baby. Some boyfriend and me. You’ll read it in Winchell That I had a B-A- S-T-A-R-D. I had him Caesari- an. Who knew that he’d Look so much like Mary Jane’s boyfriend? I asked her And she agreed. He has Don Creighton’s nose And a paunch like Gale Gordon. By and By when he grows, he’ll spend some time Betty Ford-in’. Sardines I was eating But worse than the puke: Craig’s pre-mature meeting With my wet nurse, our guest star, Miss Patty Duke People think Kim’s a bore. But as your daughter, that’s my lot. If I do Rhoda more Maybe they’ll purchase my pilot. I’ll beat Sally Struthers For that Emmy prize. You’ll hear two “Oh, Mother!”’s As we stand in our two-shot and roll our eyes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor Posted May 5, 2012 Report Share Posted May 5, 2012 LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryCarter Posted May 6, 2012 Report Share Posted May 6, 2012 Brilliant, as always, Neil! I bet Brian from "Where is My Wandering Mother Tonight?" is the father. He seemed to have only one thing on his mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mot Morenzi Posted May 6, 2012 Report Share Posted May 6, 2012 Episode title: “Kim Finally Cuts Her Own Umbilical Cord”, “Kim is NG and PG” or “Pregnant Nieces are Unpredicable” (seems like someone else has already come up with the first 2) During their 2nd date, Ronnie by-passes the roadblock Kim attempts to put up and finds her ‘freeway entrance’ which soon becomes an HOV lane as Kim discovers the joy of sex with her many boyfriends-of-the-week. Unfortunately her Latin Rhythm birth control method fails leaving Kim a “fallen angel” but she just can’t bring herself to tell her mother that she’s expectin’ and has no idea who the father is. Though Kim craves “Pickle-udge” for breakfast and borrows Uncle Harry’s Nui-nui muumuu to cover up her rapidly expanding waistline, Lucy doesn’t catch on. When Kim’s water breaks (drenching poor Uncle Harry, naturally), she calls Dr. Moss who brings over a big cardboard box, a blanket and a saucer of milk. Even the sight of Kim rocking the newborn doesn’t phase Lucy who has jumped to the conclusion that Kim has spontaneously given birth so many times, she just assumes it’s another gag. So how to tell her? How else!: Kim books herself into “The Enciente Ape”, one of the many clubs in the valley owned by a friend of Uncle Harry’s and invites her mother, who thinks it’s another one of her spontaneous and well-choreographed performances until someone prompts Kim to ‘Sing the baby song!”: “We’ve just had a baby. Some boyfriend and me. You’ll read it in Winchell That I had a B-A- S-T-A-R-D. I had him Caesari- an. Who knew that he’d Look so much like Mary Jane’s boyfriend? I asked her And she agreed. He has Don Creighton’s nose And a paunch like Gale Gordon. By and By when he grows, he’ll spend some time Betty Ford-in’. Sardines I was eating But worse than the puke: Craig’s pre-mature meeting With my wet nurse, our guest star, Miss Patty Duke People think Kim’s a bore. But as your daughter, that’s my lot. If I do Rhoda more Maybe they’ll purchase my pilot. I’ll beat Sally Struthers For that Emmy prize. You’ll hear two “Oh, Mother!”’s As we stand in our two-shot and roll our eyes! LOL!!! Wowee, that's quite elaborate! The visual of Uncle Harry getting water broken on him is quite something. "I knew he'd be born this way"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annaleigh Posted May 6, 2012 Report Share Posted May 6, 2012 That was great!! Hahahahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 Brilliant, as always, Neil! I bet Brian from "Where is My Wandering Mother Tonight?" is the father. He seemed to have only one thing on his mind. Don't forget Tim Mathison's character in "Kim Moves Out". He had gone to BERKLEY after all and had a BEARD! "KMO" was a great episode, even though it was a combo-remake of an I Love Lucy, a Lucy Show and a Mothers-In-Law so much so that it could have been entitled "Lucy Waits Up for Kim" or "Kim Carter is a Harlot"! I loved the B&M HL running gag of Lucy continually waking Harry up with her phone calls. And then when Kim calls and wakes him ("I'm sorry, Uncle Harry. Did I wake you?") Harry replies groggily "You can't help it, dear. It's in the blood." Also love this line: Lucy: "Harry, you're not going to believe this but I made a complete fool of myself!"--a statement that Lucy Carter should know better than to say to Harry! B&M used a great many plots on "MIL" that would have been great for HL with Kim in the garage apartment next door---where she resided for all of ONE episode! And since so many "MIL"s were direct steals of ILL/LS plots, the scripts would have come full circle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONALISAISMONALUCY Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 This was hilarious!!! This would have been an episode if Norman Lear was producing "Here's Lucy". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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