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Ball, Rubin rediscover Miller at Piggly Wiggly

 

Lucy responds to rumours of Rubin affair: "Well, I COULDN'T SEE!"

 

One Million Moms picket CBS over Kinsey reference 58 years too late

 

Frawley walks as ex-wife crashes Flapper Follies of 1952/27 chorus

 

Local hotelier Skinner takes on Gong Show next week

 

Skinner sells gong to Chuck Barris for $16

 

Hopper, Ed Peterson inducted into Millinery Hall of Fame

 

Steve and Eydie out; replaced with Sid and Vanda on Strip

 

CBS announces TLS roadtrip teleplay: "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Margo"

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Parton cast as Lansing in "Hillbillies in a Haunted House" reboot

 

Kenwith, Thompson play for banana section on next week's Tattletales

 

"Thumb your nose, bud!" becomes unlikely internet meme

 

Pants finally consume Frawley outside Hollywood hotel

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Love all the new ones Brock and Jimmy!

 

Maurice Benard to host SNL, loses Ricky Ricardo parody to Bobby Moynihan. "Moynihan better suited for the part" concludes Michaels.

 

Stefan Kanfer expanding "Ball of Fire" with further commentary of how much everything Lucy did sucked

 

Carole Cook becomes new, official Ball impressionist; LaRusch will now do impressions of Cook

 

Flaming Mame: Paul Lynde bemoans losing role in new Herman musical to Ball

 

Exclusive: DeDe Ball wore Depends; excessive muttering of uh-oh now understood

 

Fonda sustains back injury carrying bloated Ball up Big Street staircase

 

Hart quits TLS after screen-mom Vance sat on him unknowingly for 45 minutes

 

Barbara Eden Exclusive: "I lied. I actually DID give in to Desi's advances!"

 

Gale Gordon joins Frawley & MacMurray in new sitcom: Fred, Fredd and Freddie

 

Vivian Vance accepts lead in 'Misery', hopes Frawley will co-star. "I'm just dying to work with him again," she says while lovingly caressing sledgehammer.

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Discovery of lost TLS commercial revives Hart, Garrett's bitter beefsteak wars

 

Desilu launches music label; "Mary Jane SINGS!" to be first release

 

Pollard confession: I've never heard of The Lucy Show

 

Inspired by eggplant, Ann Sothern eats Pittsburgh

 

Authorities question Sullivan after dead bellboy is found in coffee table

 

Gordon hospitalized for pickaxe extraction

 

The Singleton Hop replaces Racewalking in Olympics

 

Charlie Bentasil shot dead; mistaken for duck

 

Wickes friends come out as straight after star's death

 

Conklin rides again on SNL spinoff "Our Miss Hooks"

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Joanne Dru's "Adventures of a Model" revived as Skinemax original series

 

Ball blasts Conreid over vulgar adlibbed lyrics for "Tippy toe through my garden"

 

"Lucy Gets Lucky" getting porn remake; name staying the same

 

Frawley feature in "Men's Fitness" magazine scrapped for obvious reasons

 

Ball greenlights new Burnett series "Bradford, Krausmeyer & Tillford"

 

Barra adopts flawless Russian accent for Anastasia themed episode

 

Ball shortlisted as Long's replacement on Cheers; Danson not thrilled

 

Janet Waldo determined to bring Marge back for proper sendoff; proposes pilot

 

Thibodeaux, Garrett tired of being mistaken for brothers.

 

Frawley selected grand Marshall of Pride Parade; world stunned

 

Desi Jr. declines role in "Behind the Candelabra"

 

Thompson makes it his life's ambition to make "Lucy" movie that will please Lucie Arnaz

 

Lohan signs on for "Mame" remake; Heigl rumoured to play Vera

Primo one and all but the Lohan/"Mame" remake KILLED me!! :lucyhaha:
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Desi Arnaz Suffers Nervous Breakdown after NBC announces signing Edith Hirsch for sitcom

 

SPCA Demands to Know Whereabouts of Baby Chicks from I Love Lucy program

 

World stunned as Gallup poll actually names Joan Davis America's favorite comedienne

 

Mae West signed to play Desi Jr's love interest in Here's Lucy episode

 

CBS forced by star to publish public apology after credits and publicity material for Lucy special LUCILLE BALL'S HOLLYWOOD neglect apostrophe

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McMahon nommed for Best Supporting Emmy for Lucy Calls Prez

 

Ball shunned by industry after declining role in Won Ton Ton: The Dog Who Saved Hollywood

 

Lucille Ball Productions to shoot first all-Asian production of The Good Earth: Jayne Meadows, Joan Fontaine to star

 

Lillian Carter to replace outgoing Holliday on Alice

 

Allen behind bars: Caught being a People Watcher watcher watcher

 

Ball, Flip Wilson join forces to secure film rights to “Miss Daisy”; brawl on who gets to play title role

 

Court docs reveal “Orthopedic Ward for Children’s Hospital” was front for high stakes backgammon parlour

 

Kusely’s “Kontraption” goes Kaput! Ball now in permanent state of surprise

 

Frustrated hairdresser Ball gives Spector first perm on Lucy in London set

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These started me day with LITERAL LOL.....

 

Allen behind bars: Caught being a People Watcher watcher watcher

Desi Arnaz Suffers Nervous Breakdown after NBC announces signing Edith Hirsch for sitcom .("Here's Edie"? I think this one is deserving of some episode descriptions....)

Gordon hospitalized for pickaxe extraction

Vivian Vance accepts lead in 'Misery', hopes Frawley will co-star. "I'm just dying to work with him again," she says while lovingly caressing sledgehammer

Lucy responds to rumours of Rubin affair: "Well, I COULDN'T SEE!"

 

But THIS one caused an LOL combined with spit-take and a day-long sinus headache and should go in the Lounge Posting Hall of Fame!

Ann Miller stars in "Long Day's Journey Into Night," adds tap number

 

I always thought this was Charlie VAN Tassel...don't know why, but I think I may have seen it in print.

Charlie Bentasil shot dead; mistaken for duck

My Strange Addiction discovers world's only Cara Williams fan

This person would be ME!

And since my friend Lotus Bud "liked" this one of mine, I assume you know where this comes from? (the obscurest of obscure references)

Ball Hires Detective to Find Out What Happened to Jaye P. Morgan

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Sothern fired from "Country Club Dance" after making attempt on Eden's life

 

Bitter Ritter Makes Ball Chug Sauerkraut Juice in Revenge: "It's so tasty too", Lucy grimaces!

 

Desilu to release "The Four Alarms" album. "Bumblebee", "Silvery Moon" to get singles.

 

Red and Proud: Hopper blasts Ball in column after Lucy shows pride at communist past!

 

Vance campaigning for her own show; "You can go farther with Ethel" she declares!

 

Gordon cast against type; set to play subtle, even tempered house husband.

 

76 year old Ball hired by biologists to lure frogs from ponds with speaking voice

 

Richard Denning Tells All: "Lucy & Desi ruined my life!"

 

Benadaret shocks audience by playing character younger than own age

 

Will Ferrell to star in "I Love Lucy" movie that retools format to be all about Ricky

 

The straw that broke Ethel's back: Vance finally loses it and kicks Frawley in the balls

 

Lillian Carter unavailable for phone call scene; Rich Little hired as vocal double

 

SHOCKING DISCOVERY: Skeleton of Lindbergh baby found in Sothern's oven!

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Dejected Vance proposes racy format change; puts the "Ho" in "Guestward Ho!"

 

Now THERE'S the Mertz spin-off that would have worked! "GUESTWARD HO'S" !!

The Mertz's inherit a "dude range" in Nevada and quickly discover the source of their cash flow. When many of the regulars know Ethel on a first-name basis, Fred figures out that shaving a year off her age wasn't the only secret she kept from him and puts her in charge of the "staff" ,renaming the place "Mertz's Maidens". And, after retrieving his turn-of-the-century wardrobe from the trash, Fred installs himself as greeter. "You got the know-how and I got the name", Fred reasons. Ethel quickly tires of doing all the work and wants to switch positions, giving this tip to Fred "When your face gets redder than their meat, they're done!"

First episode: "Visit From the Chicken Inspector"

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Dejected Vance proposes racy format change; puts the "Ho" in "Guestward Ho!"

 

Now THERE'S the Mertz spin-off that would have worked! "GUESTWARD HO'S" !!

The Mertz's inherit a "dude range" in Nevada and quickly discover the source of their cash flow. When many of the regulars know Ethel on a first-name basis, Fred figures out that shaving a year off her age wasn't the only secret she kept from him and puts her in charge of the "staff" ,renaming the place "Mertz's Maidens". And, after retrieving his turn-of-the-century wardrobe from the trash, Fred installs himself as greeter. "You got the know-how and I got the name", Fred reasons. Ethel quickly tires of doing all the work and wants to switch positions, giving this tip to Fred "When your face gets redder than their meat, they're done!"

First episode: "Visit From the Chicken Inspector"

 

I wish I could look inside your head to see those gears turning! Brilliant!!!

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Ball, Arnaz to perform Superbowl halftime show; Lucille orders ruby studed nipple broach for unknown reason.

I Shove Lucy: controversial script where Ricky pushes Lucy down flight of stairs shelved.

Card blabs to Hopper that Parsons was first choice for guest star; Hopper pees in stage pool as revenge

Vance to direct husband Dodds in "Gustward Mo's"

Ball to produce, star in all-white remake of Dreamgirls

Vance horrifies husband, self after calling out Fred's name in bed.

Burrito eating contest scene cut from Totie Fields episode due to "explicit vulgarity"

Initial "Here's Lucy" treatments reveal that Harry Carter was originally gynecologist; Lucy would have played hapless tool-handing assistant.

John Wayne Bobbit to guest star in "Lucy & The Lost Part"

Vance replaces Sothern for Contact Lens episode; "Ann kept eating all the cakes," explains Ball

Donald Briggs to woo Vance again in Gustward Ho's episode "Be My Tootsie Wootsie"

Lost Edith Meyser cameo as Irma Mooney found in CBS vault? Meyser unrecognizable in bald cap and platform shoes

Hilda Josefsberg sues for TLS royalties; "Milt stole all my ideas and only gave me credit for one!" she cries.

Ball kills new Dru series after Arnaz has his own adventures with a model!

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Mary Jane Croft angry with Ball for making her 2 different recurring characters in the same show. "Who am I? What am I? Where am I?" Croft cries

 

Lucille Ball questioning herself on the 2 Joans. "If I hire Joan Rivers, will I not get along with her like those bitches Blondell and Crawford?" Ball laments

 

Outcry over the word "sex" being said on I Love Lucy. "WHAT HAS THE MEDIA COME TO?!" people shout

 

Lucille Ball's wig room broken into by Lucy impersonator, all 300+ identical wigs stolen.

 

Desi Arnaz's eyes literally pop out of his head while filming scene. "MIRA QUE TIENE COSA, I'M BLIND!" Arnaz shouts.

 

Ball's teeth actually get knocked out, many more hillbilly stories to be written

 

Vance claims to see Frawley's ghost, he stares at her from the foot of her bed grinning, and vanishes, every night.

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Mary Jane Croft angry with Ball for making her 2 different recurring characters in the same show. "Who am I? What am I? Where am I?" Croft cries

 

Lucille Ball questioning herself on the 2 Joans. "If I hire Joan Rivers, will I not get along with her like those bitches Blondell and Crawford?" Ball laments

 

Outcry over the word "sex" being said on I Love Lucy. "WHAT HAS THE MEDIA COME TO?!" people shout

 

Lucille Ball's wig room broken into by Lucy impersonator, all 300+ identical wigs stolen.

 

Desi Arnaz's eyes literally pop out of his head while filming scene. "MIRA QUE TIENE COSA, I'M BLIND!" Arnaz shouts.

 

Ball's teeth actually get knocked out, many more hillbilly stories to be written

 

Vance claims to see Frawley's ghost, he stares at her from the foot of her bed grinning, and vanishes, every night.

 

All great but I really love the hillbilly one!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ball cast in film version of "Murder She Wrote"

Ball to reprise Japanese Gardener on Kung Fu

Vivian Vance promotes new I Love Lucy inspired steak sauce "Medium Raya"

Shocking! Ball hired Kathryn Card to stand in for DeDe at dozens of tapings!

Frawley disappointed that Bob Hope episode not filmed on location at Yankee Stadium

Lucille Ball on 'I Love Lucy': "God that show sucked!"

Desilu launches unsuccessful "One Oak Cabins & Cafe" chain to promote Hollywood arc

Pecan praline maker Sally Carter sues for trademark infringement

Colgate-Palmolive Peet Company requests Desilu put disclaimer about improper toothpaste use in 'First Stop' episode.

Gordon on Frawley: "MY Fred Mertz would pay the check more often!"

Desi on Ricky: "I don't even like Latin music in real life!"

Seventh season ILL outline reveals Ricardo/Mertz relocation to Africa for entire season. 8th season would have launched Lucy Moon Colony.

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