Jump to content

Gag Headlines


Recommended Posts

And one more related story:

 

Summer Replacement for I Love Lucy: "Bachelorette"-like Reality Show Where Vivian Vance  Picks Next Fred Mertz

     Sub-headline #1: Contestants Selected: James Gleason, Eugene Pallette, Dub Taylor, Charles Winninger, Harry Chesire, William Demarest and Robert Rockwell

 

    Sub-headline #2: Series Cancelled; Vance: "I've already made my choice"

    Sub-sub headline: "Elois Jensen Alters Frawley's High-Waisted Pants for Rockwell's Frame"

    Sub-sub-sub headline: Robert Ignites Rockwell/Vance Feud: "No one will believe I am married to that old bag."

 

Subsequent Story: Rockwell Quits I Love Lucy After Vance's Inappropriate Fondling Within Two-Headed Dragon Costume"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Donovan Scott fan club petitions for retroactive "Life With Lucy" Emmy.

 

Television Archive uses Ouija board to contact Vance for posthumous interview: "Come in Vivian, over!"

 

CBS apologizes to Dusenberry over "Ann Dingleberry" miscredit on DVD.

 

Ball moves to NBC! Old network retaliates by producing new special: "CBS Rebukes Lucy: The Next 75 Years"

 

Shocking Discovery! Ball lost out on O'Hara role due to hair color matching character's first name!

 

Dolce, Gabanna market "Fred Mertz Jeans" to honor their idea of proper family man.

 

Vance, Sothern barred from appearing together to give others fighting chance at Craft Services table.

 

Moorhead first choice for Mrs. McGillicuddy; would've called Ricky "Ruckwood"

 

Autopsy shocker! Skelton's skeleton is actually red!

 

Freddy Got Fingered! Frawley tearfully confesses to inappropriate backstage behavior by Vance.

 

Arden, Ball to appear on "Show Swap": Tune in next week for "Our Miss Ball" and "I Enjoy Eve"!

Brian....you never cease to amaze!! Some of these (I bolded my faves) are PRICELESS!!! :vanda:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And one more related story:

 

Summer Replacement for I Love Lucy: "Bachelorette"-like Reality Show Where Vivian Vance  Picks Next Fred Mertz

     Sub-headline #1: Contestants Selected: James Gleason, Eugene Pallette, Dub Taylor, Charles Winninger, Harry Chesire, William Demarest and Robert Rockwell

 

    Sub-headline #2: Series Cancelled; Vance: "I've already made my choice"

    Sub-sub headline: "Elois Jensen Alters Frawley's High-Waisted Pants for Rockwell's Frame"

    Sub-sub-sub headline: Robert Ignites Rockwell/Vance Feud: "No one will believe I am married to that old bag."

 

Subsequent Story: Rockwell Quits I Love Lucy After Vance's Inappropriate Fondling Within Two-Headed Dragon Costume"

 

That's fantastic!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

CBS announces colorized "My Favorite Husband" collection

 

Possessed by poltergeist, Ball statue spits Vitametavegamin at unsuspecting onlookers

 

Jamestown artist sculpts Vance in knit suit, uses up materials on rear

 

Library of Congress to preserve Life With Lucy

 

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: Lucy's hair colorized yellow to appeal to male viewers

 

Lucy colorization not enough, fans say. "We want 4K, 3D widescreen or else!"

 

Adios, amigos! CBS axes all Ricky and Fred scenes to appease feminist bloggers

 

Henry Cavill to replace George Reeves for upcoming "Lucy and Superman" rebroadcast

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Post Red-Scare audience warm up features new jingle: "The Big Red Letters Stand for the Communist Par-tay!"

 

Conreid, Kearns and Gordon receive new series: "My Three Rudolphs"

 

Arden challenges Chandler, Rockwell to Boynton Kiss-Off

 

Goodnight Irene: Ryan replaced by Ball for 80s "Beverly Hillbillies" reboot

 

Bob LeMond's JELL-O Cookbook to highlight best of "My Favorite Husband" recipes

 

Lucy & Larry Lopez ride again as Ball, Arnaz stage comeback vehicle

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

TimeLife issues new "Carol Burnett Show DVD" featuring non hand-picked episodes: "Carol's Least-Favorites"

Fans anxious for colorized episodes to finally see what color Lucy's hair was. "How would we ever know otherwise?"

MPI personnnally apologizes for "Here's Lucy" DVD typos

Philip Morris to sponsor "Here's Lucy" episode: "Lucy's Bonus Day"

Arnaz loses big on "Mother's-In-Law" vehicle. "I counted my bridges before they hatched."

Ball brother insulted miserly supporting character named after him!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

  • Lucy Show spinoff series proposed- To take place in Main Street, U.S.A.- Quote: "We already milked two episodes out of that damn set, why not try and make a series out of it?"

Ball to make new series for Netflix: Redhead Is The New Brunette, where new Lucy character is sent to prison. Feat. Mary Jane Croft, Mary Wickes, Vanda Barra, Carole Cook, and of course, Iris Adrian and Jody Gilbert as Hard Head and The Matron (respectively).

Desilu to produce remake of Mask starring Janos Prohaska

As production costs for Downton Abbey mount, PBS makes decision to film all future exteriors on Gary Morton's 3/4 European Street.

Now that Lucille Ball has been cast as Baby Jane Hudson in the upcoming made for TV remake, the hunt is on to find the perfect Blanche. Ball allegedly is persistently pursuing actress Ruth McDevitt to play the ill-fated paraplegic.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

  • Lucy Show spinoff series proposed- To take place in Main Street, U.S.A.- Quote: "We already milked two episodes out of that damn set, why not try and make a series out of it?"
  • Ball to make new series for Netflix: Redhead Is The New Brunette, where new Lucy character is sent to prison. Feat. Mary Jane Croft, Mary Wickes, Vanda Barra, Carole Cook, and of course, Iris Adrian and Jody Gilbert as Hard Head and The Matron (respectively).
  • Desilu to produce remake of Mask starring Janos Prohaska
  • As production costs for Downton Abbey mount, PBS makes decision to film all future exteriors on Gary Morton's 3/4 European Street.
  • Now that Lucille Ball has been cast as Baby Jane Hudson in the upcoming made for TV remake, the hunt is on to find the perfect Blanche. Ball allegedly is persistently pursuing actress Ruth McDevitt to play the ill-fated paraplegic.
Brilliant!

 

- Ann Sothern to be replaced by McDevitt for Blanche role. "Ann found the birds and rats appetizing and kept eating them," explains frustrated Ball.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...