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The Newer, More Improved SOCK IT TO ME Thread


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:lucy2: You'd like me to play a request for Hilda. Oh, Hilda and Babs. And Jan? Oh, Hilda, Babs and Jan. And Ella? Uh-huh. And Molly, Dottie, Roselle and Mimi. Mimi? Yeah, like Eisenhower. And Mildred, and Doris, and Nora, yeah, and Emma. Marianne and Evelyn and Sadie and Emma -- is that the same Emma you just mentioned? Oh, this one's a redhead. And Sue Ellen. Yeah, that's one name, I know. And Gertrude and Estelle and Joan and Connie and Sylvia. Uh-huh! What number would you like me to play, sir? YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME?!
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Mary Jane: Luu-cy!

Harry: Mary Jane, Lucille is in the kitchen.

Mary Jane: Can you ask her if she'd mind making me a glass of iced tea?

Harry: Lucille?

Lucy: Yeah?

Harry: Mary Jane would like to know if you would make her some iced tea.

Lucy: Coming right up.

Harry: Coming right up!

Mary Jane: With lots of ice!

Harry: With lots of ice!

Lucy: Lots of ice. Sugar or lemon?

Harry: Sugar or lemon?

Mary: Sugar!

Harry: Sugar.

Lucy: Sugar.

Mary: Just one teaspoon!

Harry: Just one teaspoon!

Lucy: Just one teaspoon.

Mary: Do ya have any cookies?!

Harry: Do you have any cookies?

Lucy: Well, what kind do you want?

Harry: What kind do you want?

Mary: What kind have ya got?!

Harry: What kind have you got?

Lucy: Chocolate chip and vanilla wafers.

Mary: ...

Lucy: Well?

Harry: WELL?!

Mary: I'm thinking!

Harry: I'M THINKING! <_<

Lucy: Would you like to know what I'm thinking?

Harry: Not particularly. :MrsRichardCarlson:


Harry: CHOCOLATE CHIPS! :angry:

Lucy: Okay, chocolate chips.

Mary: Maybe forget the cookies so I won't ruin my dinner.


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Hard Head: Tinkerbell, my roommate would a nice hot cup of coffee.

Tinkerbell: But, of course! And would Madame like sugar and cream in her coffee?

Lucy: Well, a little cream but no sugar; I'll take saccharine because I've been on a diet and I wouldn't want to--

Tinkerbell: AH, SHADDAP! :angry:

Lucy: The nerve of her! I'll tell you one thing: if she does bring me my coffee I ain't gonna give her no tip! <_<

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  • 3 weeks later...

Here's everything you ordered, Viv: pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, and ham.

:viv2: Thanks, darling. Would you mind if I had a cup of tea?

:lucie: No. Do you want sugar?

:viv2: Sugar?! Heavens, no! I'm on a diet.


:desi1: Waffles! :D

:lucy1: That's right, dear!


:desi1: Oh, I know! You made this waffle YOURSELF! :angry:

:lucy1: No, I bought it from Phipps Fountain and Tea Room. Food always tastes different when you get it from Phipps. I don't know WHAT they do to it! :lucymeh:

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Aunt Gussie: Mary Jane, where are your other television sets?

Mary Jane: I've only got one.

Aunt Gussie: One television set?! I'm missing the wrestling match because my screaming kids have to watch other screaming kids twitchin' and boppin' on TV. One television set?! Thanks for nothing, Mary Jane!

Lucy: Who was that?

Mary Jane: That was my Aunt Gussie. She's the nicest one in the family.

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Wife: I saw something strange out on the balcony!

Husband: Something strange? Three flights up? Was it a bird?

Wife: Nooo!

Husband: Was it a plane?

Wife: Nooooo!!

Husband: Then what was it, dear?!

Wife: It was SUPERMAN!!!!!!!!!! :o

Husband: Oh, there, there Martha... :MrsRichardCarlson:

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Ricky: What's that?

Lucy: This?! Oh, this belongs to the Millers downstairs!

Ricky: The Millers? What are you talking about?

*throws paper on the balcony*

*paper comes back over the balcony*

Lucy: This paper doesn't belong to us!

"Mr. Miller": I saw it come from your balcony!


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